2013

Hi guys, the reason why I never blog for so long is probably cause I want to make a 1 x good post for this new year.
Before I start, it's always good to look back at my previous new year's post.
http://chao-dar.blogspot.sg/2012/12/my-life-as-jc-kid.html

Can't believe it.
I'm going to be a 8 month soldier in 10 days time.
It's been so long since I've entered Army and serve this nation. (Well not long enough to say ORD LO)
It's been a very enriching 8 months I must say.
The first 5 months of 2013 I wouldn't have much to say.
Cause I'm still enjoying myself as a CIVILIAN.
HAHAHA.
I think probably everyday playing dota hahahaha.
But ever since I enlisted on 9 May 2013, perception of life has slowly start to change.
It's always good to take away something from each year.
It makes you a better person.

So let's start with BMT!
BMT was a very fruitful two months for me.
I've learnt SO much.
From a blur recruit, slowly learning how to interact with people.
Learning how to treat people with respect cause 2LT Lester taught me so.
Until now I still haven't forget what 2LT lester taught me about showing respect to people.
It's has kinda path my life for 2013.



POP LO.
Still remember how sad and happy it was to pass out.
Even though it's just POP, I feel proud to be standing on the parade with all my platoon mates.
I bet our sirs and sergeants are also proud of us on that very day.
BMT has really taught me to treat people differently.
And I'm very thankful to have 2SG Phillip, 3SG Asyraf, 3SG Kenneth, 2LT Sean and 2LT Lester as my commanders.
They are really the best commanders I can ever ask for.
Despite all the punishments that we have received as recruits, it was really an enjoyable 2 months in Tekong.
Especially Platoon Sergeant Phillip who taught me about spending with my family.
I feel that I've become a more filial son after entering the Army.



AND BAM, I've been posted to OCS.
It was the best news I received after coming back from my first Bangkok trip with AHC and friends.
The first thought that went through my mind was OMFG.
I'm going to become an officer.
Then slowly many thoughts came to my mind.
Like can I become a good officer?
Would I be looked down upon by others?
Would I be respectable as a leader?
I doubt my own capabilities as I compared myself with my BMT sirs.
All of them are so up there.
And right now, 6 months after OCS, I doubt myself less.
Not trying to say I'm fucking up there but yeah you get what I mean.
HAHAHAHA.
Let's see, 6 months in OCS.
Went through a lot of tiring exercises.
But all these exercises really trained me hard.
All the service term exercises was tiring.
But it made me cherish little things.
Like SLEEP?
Scorpion king was one hell hole.
5D4N slept for 6 hours?
Shag.
Just dig and dig and dig.
Oh and after service term, it was SOCIAL NIGHT!



My social night date!!



My service term platoon mates.
Well 4/6 of them in this picture still with me.
Ben tan's face really last warning.
AND I MISS LUM.
<3 p="">2+ more months and LUM IS BACK!!
Omg how time flies.
And after social night, came hell.
Hell training starts.
All the route marches, trainings for Brunei.
And in a blink of an eye after a few main outfields, we are sitting on the plane heading to Brunei.

Brunei was the worst shit I've ever experienced.
Worst physical shit I mean.
It was so FUCKING TIRING.
Infantry package I carried all the heavy shit.
I tanked all the load with a ingrown toe nail which was so painful.
And when infantry package was finally over, I teared.
I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHY.
I just did.
It was too shag I think.
Then comes JCC.
So fucking hungry.
And it was also the moment where I felt that home was the best place to be at any point of time.
I really missed home so much.
I miss my family.
And all that missing happened while I was sitting on my A-frame while it was raining.
Brunei was so damn miserable.
All the raining and downpour.
Sleeping drenched, fighting drenched, resting drenched, walking drenched, climbing drenched.
So damn miserable.
BUT IT'S OVER AND I GOT 

HAHAHA.
Okay so after Brunei training, headed back to Singapore and it was block leave.
And for the first time, I got introduced to clubbing.
I got so drunk that I don't even want to talk about it.
Hahaha but well it was fun to some extent la.
AND BANGKOK #2 CAME.
I TOOK SO MANY VIDEOS.
It was very fun.
I bought a lot of things there.
And I really liked the atmosphere there.
Like how friendly the people are over there.
And how the people talk so soft and elegant in Thai.
Coming back to Singapore felt a little noisy and loud hahaha.
I think I'm gonna compile all the videos to make 1 video hahaha.
IF I HAVE THE TIME.

2013 made me cherish a lot more things.
Like how I cherish my time outside as a civilian.
Booking in really sucks.
And booking out really rocks.
That 5 days in camp, 2 days out made me cherish time so preciously.
That 2 days must be spent so wisely.
And being in the army seriously makes you realise who are your good friends and who's not.
Those that has been meeting up with me during my book outs, I thank you very much for still being part of my life.
And those who are still in the army, I thank you for serving our country.
LOL
Familiar?
2014 is gonna come in a few hours time.
I dread army life for another 1 year.
MAYBE THINGS WOULD BE BETTER AFTER I COMMISSION.
Or maybe it's the other way round.
Ahhh shall go celebrate my new year and book in tomorrow night.
:(
Sorry for this poor effort post as compared to all other posts in the past.
Times have changed.
Enriching life as it may be, it's boring as hell.
Hahahaha.
Let's see what 2014 has to offer me.
HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!!

JCC LO

Guys, GUESS WHAT?
SOMEONE IS FUCKING BACK FROM BRUNEI.
AND SOMEONE HAS A FUCKING BADGE!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

I'm back people!!!
I miss Singapore like crazy.
Especially the people here.
My family and friends.
24 days in Brunei isn't a joke.
It definitely was an eye opener experience for me as I've learnt a lot of things about myself.
There are mainly two parts of training to this Brunei trip.
The first is called the infantry package and the second, a 9-day JCC course.
Both parts were nightmare for me.
And I'm really damn glad that everything is over.
I've been through the toughest shit ever in OCS already.

Let's just briefly talk about this overseas training.

INFANTRY PACKAGE-
It was a tough outfield for me. Like seriously tough. The terrain is different and the load is definitely different. Carried a lot a lot of shit during this phase. I tanked matador for first 3 days and MG gunner for the 4th day and MG LINKS for 5th day. It was really one of the most heavy load I've ever carried and I would say everyone agrees with me cause not only my pack was heavy. Quite lucky I did not get any appointment for this outfield, if not sure damn stress hahahahah. Yup so my infantry package ended with tears in my eyes. Cause I was so shag and my in grown toe nail is hurting like a bitch. And also, all the muddy and slippery terrain was finally over (at least temporarily).  It was really good that we didn't had to wear helmet again for the next few days.

JCC-
This 9 days course with my detail has trained me hard. I've become a tougher man. I really don't know how to start this. The feeling is still so fresh in my mind. All the hardship and all the sufferings. So what I've decided to do is write down what I wrote down in my personal journal throughout the 9 days (with no edits)

Day 1- Check point 1
EX NOMAD DAY 1 was so mike low. We had to backtrack so many times. Carrying the signal for the team is no joke. Tired and low morale. Luckily we found our 1st checkpoint CP NEED. We are currently harbouring at the top of this knoll where our CP 2 is supposed to be. Sadly, we still can't find it. Hopefully we are on the right knoll. And more importantly, pray that it doesn't rain tonight.

Day 2- EX NOMAD DAY 2
At 1am in the morning, NAT wake up as he heard some movement near our harbouring site. At first, we thought it was some Ibans walking around turns out it was a huge wild boar the size of a cow. Comms back to Foxbat, loaded safety ammo & waited for BOAR to leave. Fell asleep, woke up at 0430, saw JM starting fire. Mike average. Hopefully we can find CP2. Moving out soon. // Found our 2nd C.P!! Headed to MP. Fount LTA Jonathan, so happy to see him. .71 knoll was shag. Found our E.P!! Skipped CP3 & 4. Headed straight to Pant Suit (E.P) Harbour.

Day 3- Nomad / Explorer transition
Just came down Telugong by super steep ridgeline. Harbouring at the bottom of Telugong now. Feeling so pissed off at the fact that I can't start a proper fire and can't make a proper chrysanthemum tea for myself. Physically so tired but mentally confused whether I can pull through this. Damn pissed off at myself for spilling that chrysanthemum tea. So hungry right now. Shall sleep. / Woke up with the rest of the details and left for LP 169 together.

Day 4- Mount Fucking Biang.
After finding LP 168, headed to 169. It was a long and tiring and thick bashing. At one point, I headed SW direct just to reach the river. Used parang and try to push the way out for the detail. Turns out the river was chest height. Rabak max. Hor lan like fuck but manage to head to Biang. Headed to top of Biang from 1509 to 1655. Damn fucking shag. Saw PC2 and then headed towards 4B direction. Right now harbouring with the whole of detail 6. Feeliking mike high! Ginger lemon tea rocks!

Day 5- End of Explorer
Finally found the time to write my journal. Now 12am ++ in Forager site 4B sitting with JM, Melvin and Guo Wei. It just rained so heavily, got so damn wet. Ass is so wet now. Coming down of Biang was shag. In grown toe nail and abrasion is being a bitch. Slight arguments and disappointment cause we missed 10 points by half an hour? Forager has started. Swam across Batu Apoi and was so shag. Built the base of the A frame already. Just enjoying the fire now while survival mode is on. Miss home so much.

Day 6- Ex Forager Day 1
So much for looking forward to Forager. Now I'm hungry and lonely. Morale never so low before. I really want to go home soon. Really miss home. Just ran out of commscord after tying the 4 support poles. I really don't know how to survive 3 more days of JCC...
Food Regime - Fruit Bar x 1 6th lunch 8th breakfast
                        Main pack x 1 9th breakfast
                        Dessert pack x 1 7th breakfast
                        Biscuit pack x 1 8th lunch
                        Maggie Mee x 1 7th night
                        Quail x 1 7th night
                        Potato x 1 6th night
1620- Just finished roofing! On to fire place.

Day 7- EX FORAGER DAY 2
I'm currently writing in the dark at 12am. Just tried to help Melvin with the signal set but apparently the 840 is spoilt. Writing under the moonlight, still missing home but less low morale. Most of the task lists are done. Hopefully my trap will catch something tonight. Anyway there's really a lack of CB leaves here, damn hard to make my roofing. Hopefully I pass my assessment tomorrow. And hopefully, can read what I just wrote. 2 more days to end of JCC!!

Day 8- WOW! Last NIGHT!!
Finished Forager lo! My monitor lizard trap didn't catch anything, the bait got eaten. Damn. Found more CB leaves in the morning. Finished up my roofing. Just ate cold/warm maggie & raw potato with maggi msg. Never felt so glad and relaxed for the simple meal I had. Under the temporary shelter now with Guo Wei. Whole body is wet caused it rained damn heavily from 1730 to 2000. Shall have an early night and finish JCC tomorrow! Tomorrow's breakfast; LOR MEE x 1
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
JCC lo tml!

Day 9- (i didn't write anything cause it's fucking OVERRRRRRRRRRR)

Hope this gives readers a better idea of what happened throughout this 24 days while you all are enjoying your life out here in Singapore while I'm suffering there. Hahaha. Most of the nights are cold and wet and hungry. But it was really a damn good experience but just like all the other instructors said, no one wants to do it again.

R&R yesterday was actually quite fun. Went to lan and played CS 5v5 with some wing mates. Lolol. Then walked around and shop a bit at THE MALL. The one and only mall with the one and only Macdonald there. There's a supreme mcflurry that is milo - flavoured. NOT BAD but not worth $4.70 hahaha. So had buffet for lunch and dinner. Fucking full. LOL. And yeah headed home and just touched down 7 hours ago.
Shallchill at home fpr the morning. HOME SWEET HOME.

Confidence

Hahahaha.
Just got some confidence for Brunei.
Not that scared anymore.
And the reason is....

All these supports from my friends.

And those people who messaged me.

Thanks so much man.

I'm not going to let you all down.

I WILL GET THE FUCKING BADGE!!!!!!!!!

And weilun's comment especially, made me feel that I'm more capable than what I think I am.

THANKS!

Shall take this brunei trip as a vacation~

CHEY!

Oh my god.

Guys, it's been a long time since I last post but this is going to be another post that you will probably see on my blog constantly for at least 3 weeks. It's really scary sometimes to see how times fly. All the weekly booking in never seem so fast, and now suddenly after all the tiring booking in and out, tomorrow I'm flying off to Brunei. The highest key event as a cadet.

To be honest, I'm damn fucking scared and not prepared for it. Seriously. I'm afraid my knee will give way during this training and cause myself to OOC. There's still a lot of things for me to learn in the next 5 months or so in OCS. I really want to stand on the parade square on the 12 April 2014 and be proud that I actually made it through this course.

These few days, I've been dreaming of Brunei. It's so damn scary. I'm actually not sure what's bothering me so much such that I'm scared. But one possibility that I have thought about is the inability to see/contact my family and friends for the next 3 weeks. But nevertheless, even if I'm ready or not, I'm going to be at T2 at 0030 today and depart Singapore at 0330. If anyone of you want to send me off, FEEL FREE! Hahahaha.

Brunei, here I come!

I promise I will take good care of myself.

And get that JCC badge.



See you all in 3 weeks time!

And wow, too much of a coincidnece

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/08/sleep-immune-system-body-clock_n_4235943.html Jet lag, shift work, and even late nights staring at your tablet or smartphone may be making you sick. That's because the body's internal clock is set for two 12-hour periods of light and darkness, and when this rhythm is thrown off, so is the immune system. One reason may be that the genes that set the body clock are intimately connected to certain immune cells, according to a new study. And that was what happened yesterday night, I was playing with my phone in the dark under the blanket. TOO MUCH LINK.

BRUNEI SOON

Hi all, it's going to be so soon that I'm going to Brunei. Suddenly feel all scared about the whole thing. Cause right now I'm sick with fever 38.5 degrees. What if I fall sick in Brunei, then all the training that I've put in will be put to waste. I really want that badge. That pride is so damn high. Hahahaha. OH well. Today supposed to go fishing with Ivan and Kenny but I woke up feeling cold as fuck. So went to the room without air con to sleep. Then feel hot as fuck. Then when I woke up, crawled to take my temperature and bam it was 38.5. Fucking sian. My whole body really aching damn badly, my lower back, legs, forearms, upper back, calf. All the muscles so painful. Hope I can recover fast enough to go for exercise next week. Don't want to miss out. Ok, since I'm going to be at home, might as well recover myself properly. Hopefully it gets better tomorrow! Ciaoszx

I'm a 6 months soldier!

Legitly passed the 25% of ns life already. Sometimes it may seem fast, and at times it may seem so slow. But the fact is I'm 1/4 done with NS. Anyway went to climb yesterday. Got to say I got a bit more motivation to climb now. Hahahaha. Feels good to be back. But very very weak. Like beginner. Shall continue climbing every saturday. This also means that 20 + more climbs and I'm done with OCS! How exciting? Actually less. Minus away brunei and taiwan. Less than 20 hahaha. Slowly. It sucks to count down. But always find myself doing it. Hahahaha. One of the thing that continues pushing me on in army is the belief that I will learn something from it. And indeed every here and then I'm learning new things, new values that is useful in my life. As gruesome as NS may seem, it may not be such a bad thing after all. It's all about the perspective.

Anger management

I can't believe that people around here get so angsty at times. I'll definitely remember and uphold the quote "If you have nothing good to say just shut up." It makes so much sense to just shut up when everyone is angsty already. If you say anymore things, it will just add on to it. Then at the end of the day everyone just becomes unhappy. I still need to learn to think before I talk. I'm quite a fucked up person actually. Blew up twice today. Sigh. Must learn the art of peace. I miss doing meditation during the climbing days. CLIMB ON SAT. Still looking forward to it so far. Hopefully my body is not that tired to prevent me from leaving the house and going to climb. Hahahaha. See ya people soon!

Sunday night

Woohoo, blogging in camp. Sunday really sucks. My mood is always damn bad on Sundays. Cause it's the day where I compare my platoon mates to my civilian mates AKA friends. It's always damn sad to book in you know, makes me feel that the world outside is so great. But whenever I'm outside I always don't cherish the time properly as compared to what I'd have whenever I'm in camp. Was feeling stony and miserable when I'm in my dad's car. Then suddenly 93.3FM played the song na xie nian. I was reading into the lyrics for no reasons. Like normally when you listen to a music you just listen to the beat, but this time, I listened to the lyrics. And all of a sudden, all the flashback memories from secondary school hit back. Felt so strange. Like I've been brought back to the past. And all of a sudden, I started missing you. I feel like talking to you, feel like sharing about my life. Feel like sending you home, feel like sitting below your house chilling. And that army reality snapped back when I reach SAFTI. Feels so sad. A Sunday night to remember.

SUNDAY BLUES

This Sunday blue is killing me. I think I need to plan my weekend more properly. If not it will always just end up wasting my time away.

Anyway I was doing pull ups just now. And guess what. I did 12 and I'm tired as fuck. LOL. It sucks man to feel weak. Can't even do more than 15 pull ups now. I'm becoming less and less like an athlete. More like a fat ass now. I don't want this to happen but yet my body's laziness is taking over me.

I need to go back to climb man. Lose some fats and gain some motivation to climb. I really miss climbing but I'm really damn lazy to go and climb. It's like I rather go out with my friends and eat instead of go and do some routes. OKAY. NEXT WEEK ONWARDS, I'M GOING TO CLIMB. I PROMISE. See me back in the gym on saturday. Or maybe every saturday.

Maybe this motivation will last long. CLIMB CLIMB CLIMB! Suddenly miss the feeling of topping a route. Hope I'll really go back to climb. Hahahaha. Next saturday it shall be. WAIT FOR ME ONSIGHT.

SENIOR BAR LO

Officially a senior in OCS.

Pro term's gonna start next week.

Brunei is coming in less than 30 days.

How fast.

So damn scary hahahaha.

But kinda excited to know how shag it is gonna be.

I really want to know what is my limit.

I almost found mine in scorpion king hahaha.

But no, I'm still helping out and still surviving in scorpion king.

Actually this week has been quite an interesting week.

So many things happening in just 5 days.

ICCT SOC

Then after that sleep sleep sleep.

Then wake up talk cock here and there.

Go into other people's room and stalk people.

Me and George was stalking this girl on her blog.

Then the way she blog is so professional.

Maybe it's just cause she doesn't leave blanks after every sentences.

AND THEN 24km.

Then bam, all the arti cadets are gone.

New Sierra cadets are here.

Felt so damn weird.

Like Platoon 2 isn't Platoon 2 anymore.

Lucky there are still funny people around.

Don't know how I'm gonna survive if they aren't here anymore.

Okay so from this line onwards, I'm going to blog like a professional cb. No more SPACING.

Let's test it out.

Anyway, what I heard from my commanders about pro term is making me look forward to it. It's going to be 22 weeks of tough times but it's going to be a fast one. 4 more weeks and I'm flying off already. Then when I'm back, it's going to already be week 22/38 completed. Block leave, holidays and all the stuffs like that add up together, I'm going to commission real soon! 

Commissioning aside, what I'm actually looking forward to is how my character will change when I stand on the parade square in SAFTI MI. How am I a better person in 20+ weeks time? I'm really pretty excited to find out this myself. Cliche as it may sound, the 2 years in NS can be a waste of time and yet it can also be an enriching 2 years. It all boils down to the mentality of treating NS. If you hate it, this 2 years gonna suck real bad. If you put your heart into it, wanting to learn something, you'll definitely learn something and become a better person. 

Army teaches us life lessons that are difficult to learn in civilian life. That's something I really respect the army for. I'm glad that OCS is changing me over time. Day by day, weeks by weeks, exercise after exercises. Everyday is a learning experience if you are interested to learn. This topic reminds me of when I went out with my old friends the other day, and they told me this "Army really changes people sia. Now when he talk got the Army aura. Very different from people who never go Army." And I'm like wow, really? I guess the changes that I'm talking about is hard for me to notice it myself. The only way for me to judge whether I have improved as a person is through other people's critic. The things people talk about you, reflects on how you have changed as a person. That's what I think.

And with that, I cut off my professional cb and i'm back to normal.

Time to dota.

WQOHOHWEOHOOHOWOOHOO

mai ruk .. jum dai

เลิกกันแล้วไม่จำเป็นต้องพูดหรอก
Lerk gun laeo mai jum pen dtaut poot rauk
We’ve broken up, there’s no need to say anything
เธอไม่ต้องบอกว่าแคร์เค้าเท่าไร
Tur mai dtaung bauk wah care kao tao rai
You don’t have to tell me how much you care about her
ไม่ควรโทรก็พอรู้และเข้าใจ
Mai kuan toh gor por roo lae kao jai
You shouldn’t call, I’ve just realized and understand
แต่จะทำไงมันคิดถึงเธอเหลือเกิน
Dtae ja tum ngai mun kit teung tur leua gern
But what should I do? I miss you so much

(*) ไม่ตั้งใจรบกวน ไม่ตั้งใจวุ่นวาย
Mai dtung jai rop guan mai dtung jai woon wai
I didn’t mean to bother you, I didn’t mean to get mixed up
ไม่ได้ลืมหรอก คำที่เธอบอก
Mai dai leum rauk kum tee tur bauk
I haven’t forgotten the words you said
แต่มันเหงาทนไม่ไหว
Dtae mun ngao ton mai wai
But I can’t stand the loneliness

(**) ไม่รัก…จำได้ แต่ให้ลืมเธอฉันทำไม่ไหว
Mai ruk…jum dai dtae hai leum tur chun tum mai wai
You don’t love me, I remember, but I can’t forget you
ยังคงคิดถึงทุกลมหายใจ
Yung kong kit teung took lom hai jai
I still miss every breath
อย่าเพิ่งรำคาญ อย่ามองว่าฉันดูไม่ดี
Yah perng rum kahn yah maung wah chun doo mai dee
Don’t just get angry, don’t look at me like I’m bad

(***) ไม่รัก…จำได้ เธอไม่จำเป็นต้องย้ำอีกที
Mai ruk…jum dai tur mai jum pen dtaung yum eek tee
You don’t love me, I remember, you don’t have to repeat it again
อย่าให้ฉันดูไร้ค่ากว่านี้
Yah hai chun doo rai kah gwah nee
Don’t make me feel like I’m any more worthless
ฉันรู้ดีเธอไม่รักกัน
Chun roo dee tur mai ruk gun
I know quite well you don’t love me

ฉันก็รู้ว่าเธอคงต้องลำบาก
Chun gor roo wah tur kong dtaung lum bahk
I know you’re probably annoyed
เธอคงไม่อยากให้เขาคิดมากไป
Tur kong mai yahk hai kao kit mahk pai
You probably don’t want her to think too much about it
จะกวนเธอแค่อีกคำที่ค้างใจ
Ja guan tur kae eek kum tee kahng jai
I’ll bother you with just one more word left in my heart
ก่อนจะวางไปอยากจะบอกรักเธอเหลือเกิน
Gaun ja wahng pai yahk ja bauk ruk tur leua gern
Before I let it go, I want to tell you that I love you so much

EX RHINO - Social Night

It's 4.28 pm now.

Guess what.

I JUST WOKE UP.

It's the latest that I've ever woken up in my whole 19 years of life.

LOL.

Felt quite shiok but damn guilty.

Like that half my saturday gone already.

...

Anyway had ex rhino on wed thurs.

Didn't sleep for 40+ hours.

Cause the thing ended damn late and we had to wake up like 1 hour after lights out timing.

Then went home on friday.

Dota.

Then boom it was social night.

Didn't even had time to sleep.

Went to NUS to fetch Ling Fang.

Hahahaha.

Then went to SAFTI's officer mess for social night.

Hahaha.

It was one of the most awkward night ever.

But at least it was fun.

Hahhaha.

The thing is that all the guys there haven't sleep properly for 30+ hours already.

So for me the whole night felt kinda like a dream.

Even I wake up now I still feel weird.

Hahaha.

Yeah so took a lot of photos, eat dinner, watch performance and then headed to Upper Thomson Road with Ling Fang to meet with ODAC.

Xin Ying, Hui Si and Yvette were there already.

Chin Yue and Ying Ting came afterwards.

So we kept moving around Upper Thomson Road.

From some dimsum place to rochor tao huey to wafflelicious to 7-11 and we still wanted to go holland v.

But in the end just decided to go eat bar chor mee hahahaha.

Was so damn tired I swear.

Shall go enjoy half of my saturday today :D

NEKO JUMP~

So hot~
Hahaha.
Anw, enjoying this Sunday hahaha.
Was doing AOP and shit.
Then dota the whole day.
Really never do much today.
Quite wasted.
Hahaha but yesterday was nice.
After comms parade, went to look for Chin Yue and Deon.
But sadly Deon left already.
And Nicole, Leon and Wei Lun.
But Nicole left before Wei Lun came.
So me Leon Wei Lun and Chin Yue went to wine connection to drink and ear some pizza.
Hahahaha.
Damn funny.
We drank a lot of wine and we got semi drunk.
Then there were like two girls dancing at some other open bar.
They were dancing to some music video.
Or some game I don't know.
But we kept staring at them.
Then the way they dance was like damn into it.
There was one music which was quite siao.
So I was getting high when watching them dance.
LOL then suddenly one of the girl started waving towards our table.
So I waved back first then the rest all waved back.
Then the girl was like asking us to go there.
LOL.
It was really damn epic.
Then we just stayed at our table of course.
When she signaled for us to go there all of us like became sober immediately.
LOL.
Yeah so we stayed there but she kept giving us the hand signal to go over.
BUT WE STAYED.
Cause I don't think she's really pretty.
Then later she took out her specs just to LOOK at our faces.
Then I was like WTF WTF.
Damn freaking epic.
HAhahaha.
Great night last night~

90/13 COMMISSION LO

Congrats to my seniors who have just graduated. Congrats Zhi Wen and Lee Yang :D Road usher today. Stood there for freaking 3 hours. Couldn't even see the parade. No ang pao. Nevertheless, seeing so many newly commissioned officer makes me feel happy. Gives me motivation to continue with my course in OCS. It's damn sian but seeing them in their number 1 and smiling so happily makes me long for april. It's gonna be long, but it's not that long. Just 6 more months. Tank it and it will be through. The most memorable thing today was actually the parents. The parents all walked to SAFTI parade square feeling so proud. Like "Wah, my son is going to be an officer in hours time." Then all the parents so excited about the parade and stuff. I really hope that I don't OOC by then. Then I'll make my parents proud while standing in the parade square. AHHHH. So long so long. We'll pull it through ECHO!

Respect and Humility

Just played basketball in camp. Now blogging while in my bunk. That short basketball match made me think a lot. I know it's just a game but I've some things to talk about it. Was playing with the usual Platoon 1 people. And one of them was always more rough. I didn't think so in the past until he knocked me down the other time. I'm not a basketball player so I thought, "Maybe it's just how real basketball players play" So I was trying to view him as someone that is not that rough. But that basketball match proved otherwise. I was disappointed with myself for not scoring and stuffs. Then my ball keep getting snatch. Then one of the guy keep saying "This guy most easy to snatch one" Then one incident I was trying to pass to Dexter but I did a stupid pass straight to the same guy. Then he was like "Wtf? He pass to me ah? He pass to me ah? I thought he check sia." WAH KNN PCB FUCK YOU AND YOUR DOG FACE. Fucking guai lan. I pass wrong then pass wrong already. Just take the ball and stfu. Need so much comment anot lj dog. I swear I was fucking dulan. I tried to keep as calm as possible already. Then he started saying "Wah, why they all so serious one?" They were obviously thrashing us la. But come on, instead of rubbing in can you all stop being so cocky. Maintain some pride for us and for yourself. Then I was so pissed off that I accidentally elbow the guy trying to block me. So I apologised very sincerely. I was really very sincere about the apology. I asked whether he was okay. And he went "Eh play basketball can chill anot?" And to be honest, I didn't even feel myself hitting him. He just suddenly "OHH AWOH WOH" Smlj. In the midst of everything, in the anger and pissed situation. My BMTC sir, 2LT Lester came to my mind. If I were to carry on being so pissed off what will it do good to myself and to the game. So I thought about the two words he told 5th Coy Platoon 4. Respect and Humility will bring you far. And I toned down. And all of a sudden, I feel so much different in that situation. I started being less pissed and started respecting every single one of them. Even the lj dog face guy. So I guessed I learn a lesson from that basketball match. Never been so pissed for a long time already. Pissed at myself actually.

Hahaha scorpion king is over

This means that service term is about to end.
And this also means that social night is coming.
And they have to freaking change the date.
WHY??
It's so difficult for me to ask a girl to come for my social night.
Yet when I finally succeeded they have to change to a date that she can't make it.
How can?
Stress stress.
Imagine I have to start paying to ask people to go.
Hahahaha.
7 extras leh.
Not fake one.
Ahh stress stress.

Anyway.
Scorpion king was so rough shit.
Only managed to catch like 4 hours of sleep for 4D3N.
The moment I touch the bed.
I don't even need to count 10 seconds I'm already in my dream world already hahaha.
It's one of the toughest shit I've been through.
Really damn damn shag.
When I came back to civi.
Feels so damn weird.
Like everyone just walking by.
And don't know the shit I've just been through.
That kind of feeling.
Anyway I'm damn tired now so I might blog shit.
Haha.

So what else.
Oh went to Leon's house yesterday to COOK.
It was successful legit dinner.
We had pizza cereal prawns.
Chicken / chicken sausage meat pizza.
Seafood pizza.
Some potato salad thing.
And it's damn nice.
Don't know whether we're hungry or what but it was really not that bad.
The pizza tasted like pizza.
(Note: We started from scratch. Flour, water, yeast and shit)
So the dough was a little fucked up.
HAHAHA but it was nice la.
Taste of cinnamon.
WHAT?
So after eating, played GTA 5.
Skyfall on mountains and saying shit like "This is my dream"
And start running on mountain ridge lines and shit.
Damn funny hahaha.
So after screwing around with the GTA 5, headed to Nex by cab to meet up with Vincent, Kenny, Ivan, Wei Sheng and Zong Han.
Watched insidious part 2 which is quite scary.
It's inbetween conjuring and insidious part 1 if I must say.
So after the movie, ton at zh's house.
They play mahjong while I play dota.
Damn damn damn tired now.
Hahaha.
Yup so I haven't sleep since yesterday 12pm?
More than 24 hours already.
Should I go sleep or should I tank it until in camp then I sleep.
Hmm.
Shall tank it.
Lolol.
DOTA TIME.

PAINTBALL? NOPE!

Hi guys.
It's 11.41AM in the morning.
So tired.
Wanted to sleep more but I feel guilty for sleeping during book out.
Next week is scorpion king.
2 more days to scorpion king and I don't feel that I'm prepared hahaha.
But honestly it's going to pass quite fast.
We still get to book out on Friday~

Anyway yesterday was supposed to be a day of PAINTBALLS.
But due to some circumstances, the day ended up with spontaneous ideas and activities.
So we went to eat at Werner's oven at Katong.
We = Wei Lun, Fred, Leon, Jeethi and Serena.
That was the most expensive meal I've ever eaten.
Shared with Leon.
$88 + GST = $94.15
Freaking expensive and I don't know how I can afford it.
Each person like $47.
Eat some pork knuckle, some German sausage some mash potato and some salted veggie and a cup of beer.
Lol.
It's not bad la but definitely not worth $47.
Kinda regretted it after eating.
Oh well, but pay day is in 12 days time~
So after eating, decided to go play pool.
So we headed to KSC to play.
Reached there at around 4+?
Played until like 9+.
Total was $55.80.
Played damn long.
Shaon joined us in the middle.
And that bitch didn't pay.
So after that went to eat at 5star chicken rice.
Had a great dinner there.
Shaon, Jeethi and Serena left.
Shaon left without paying for his dinner.
LOL guess what.
So left me, Leon and Wei Lun.
Decided to go PRAWNING.
WTF!#@!?
Yeap so headed to ECP to prawn.
Surprisingly it was not that bad.
We thought we wouldn't catch much prawns but we had 13?
LOL
It was not that bad la.
Yeap so after prawning, went to cook the prawn, ate it and then wooo went home.
Reached home at 4+.
My mum waited for me before she could sleep.
Felt damn bad though.
Yea so I still feel damn tired cause not enough sleep.
Anw I realised sleeping in the aircon makes my nose damn jia lat.
In camp and outfileds I don't even have problem with my nose.
But ever since I came back sleeping at home, my nose keep getting blocked and keeps running.
Damn sian hahaha.
Anw Leon is planning a trip for us to Finland after we ORD.
So we must save up some money for it.
So I set a goal for myself to have 5k in my bank when I commission.
Hope doing this makes me spend less.
Hahahaha.
Okay shall go eat my brunch.
DOTA ANYONE?

Waaaaa

So damn long since I last blogged.
Hi guys, I'm back from Centipede.
A 10D9N exercise.
Wasn't as bad as I imagined it to be.
But the tough thing is that it was 10 days.
Didn't had enough sleep throughout the whole exercise.
1/3 alerts and sentries.
On average I slept 4 hours a night?
It was damn tiring I swear.
And one of the nights it rained.
Auto wake up and it was so freaking cold.
But still fell asleep in the cold.
Cause was too tired.
The whole exercise was tiring.
The instructors told us to think about the reason why we wanted to be here.
At times we will feel so tired but what is the reason for me to be there.
So I kept thinking, haven't really found that reason yet.
But it's something along the line of becoming a better person.
So I asked myself, throughout the 8/9 weeks I've been in OCS, have I became a better person?
Definitely I cannot judge this by myself but I feel I've become mentally stronger throughout this exercise.
I can handle stress alot better now and I'm not afraid of failing.
In other words, I'm more able to stand up after I fail now.
Instead of whining and complaining, I've learnt to overcome my own thoughts and pull through.
Not showing off but I carried one of the heaviest (or maybe heaviest) field pack throughout this outfield.
And there are people with very light field pack complaining about how heavy their field pack is.
It sucks to see that there are people like this in OCS.
But well, everyone has their own limits.
Once that limit is reached, everyone's true colour comes out.
I never knew I would reach this limit.
I know I'm mentally strong.
But this exercise has pushed my limits even more.
When I reached my limits during the 7th or 8th day, I was man moding all the way.
I was damn pissed off at many things.
Hardly I get pissed off.
But I managed to overcome myself and kept my morale high and ended centipede in a high note.
Quite proud of myself and my performance.
Hopefully I'll stay strong for Scorpion King, the upcoming outfield.
For now, I deserve my break.
Just met my BMT section mates hours ago.
Miss them man.
Hahahaha.
Miss all the stupid times we had in bunk.
Shall go dota now!
Byeeeeeeeee

Every time after book out,

THE CLOCK STARTS TICKING...
Feel like I'm part of this movie every weekends.

Hahaha

Really been a tiring week.
Finally got time to just sit on a chair and not do anything.
Really damn shagged.
Got outfield next week.
3D2N.
Kinda excited and scared for it because it will be my first ever field camp.
Hope I survive.
Hahaha.
And then the next next week would be centipede.
So damn scared.
But whenever I think that I'm an officer to be, I'll feel manlier and be able to overcome all the shit.
LOL.
It's really a lot of shit.
When I come back from centipede, definitely gonna enjoy myself.
Hahaha.
Okay nothing much to blog about.
It's all army restricted stuffs.
Can't really say too much details.
But yeah, it's tough.
Not really looking forward to tomorrow's half marathon.
5km.
Damn waste time.
Hahaha.
Okay shall go eat my lunch.
CIAOZSX

At least

the people in army all showed their true colours.

There are still so many people out there which I don't understand.

Even after so many years.

The way I perceive them keep changing over time.

Is it me or them?

Probably me.

Yeah, I guessed it's just me.

The quietest

Hahahaha.

Supposed to feel happy that I'm turning a year older yesterday.

Feels weird that it didn't feel like a birthday yesterday.

Maybe cause I didn't get to blow a cake hahaha.

I'm getting this fact that we shouldn't expect too much from others sometimes.

It will make you feel better.

Btw I'm not talking about the bbq last night.

The bbq was good :)

Drank so much yesterday.

Can't believe next year I'm turning 20.

Been blogging on this blog since I was 16.

Hahaha.

So much has changed in the past 3 years.

Feels soooooooooo damn weird.

I've changed so much and it scares myself sometimes.

You all must be thinking, "lol this weepin gonna start blogging sentimental stuffs again"

But I feel really good just typing my thoughts out.

So just let me rant abit.

Army has been very very tiring for me.
Both mentally and physically.
But definitely more mentally.

Everyday while I'm inside, I'm thinking of coming out.
Hoping the day would end faster, hoping the day would be happier inside.
Hoping that commanders won't be that strict on us.
Hoping that we got more admin time.
Thinking of what is happening on the outside world.
And feel so sad while stuck inside.
People having freedom out there while I'm here doing my route march, IPPT, THT, smlj sai also have.

Then while I'm outside, I can't seem to enjoy myself as much as I wanted it to be when I'm inside.
Cause there's this "dread booking in" feeling following you around wherever you go.
And just when you're starting to enjoy yourself, you realised it's a sunday.
And it's hours before you book in.
This feeling makes me want to cry.
It really sucks.
I bet everyone feels the same way as me too.
But I guess I took it more negatively as compared to the rest.

I'm really shagged of army life.
Can't wait to ORD and lead some normal lifestyle out there.
Where there aren't routines.
Where there aren't uncertainty.
Where you can decide what you want to do next week, next few days or even the new few hours.
I just feel so trapped.

I guess the past few days has thought me not to expect for things.
It really sucks when reality < expectations.
Hahaha.
I really thought it would be that easy.
Who knows?
Sigh.

Finally,

I'm motivated to blog about non-army related stuffs.
Just caught the movie "The girl in pinafore" with Kenny and Vincent.
It was definitely a great movie.
Makes me think about the people around me.
And definitely school days back in xinmin and mjc.
Comparing schooling with army, I've realised a lot of different.
You have 24/7 to continuous do what you want.
For example, you can spend everyday studying, spend everyday playing or just spend everyday catching up with your friends.
And you know this cycle won't stop.
It's a routine.
A daily routine.
Imagine trying to chase after a girl that you like.
And BAM, 5 days back in camp.
Then 2 days out.
AND BAM, you're fucking back in camp again.
Chase what girl?

I don't know whether it's just me or what.
But I feel that every time I book out, I feel that I finally connected back to world.
It's like Wi-fi.
Maybe it's just me, but I'm constantly scared that my friends would forget about me.
I just feel so secluded from this outside world.
I guessed I failed to not talk about army again.
Hahahaha.
I guess I just miss the feeling of being loved.
Not saying I'm not being loved.
Just that I'm only being loved on weekends.
2/7 days.
And you people out there need to learn to cherish civilian life.
It's freaking good.
Don't know why am I saying all these when I'm already a 3 month soldier.
Probably because I just watched the girl in pinafore and all the sudden emotions come back.
Watching the show made me feel like a civilian again.
Ah fuck this.
So tired to blog.
Blah.
Shall go dota.
But seriously, I miss civilian life.

That sudden realisation

That I'm not happy with life now.
I was walking to bathe.
And I looked at my dad.
He looked really tired.
From working, from the society.
Kinda make me think that I'm actually having the same tiredness.
One of my values in life is to stay happy.
Because YOLO.
I think that's very important.
And it has been even more important now since I'm losing it.
Thus, I'm going to be more positive in my thinking.
And be more cheerful.
Maybe things aren't that bad afterall.
Look at things in another manner, maybe I might learn something new.
BOOK IN LO!
SO HAPPY.
Right.

It's a Saturday

And I ain't feeling that good.
Don't know what's bothering me.
Or it's probably I'm just very tired from the one and a half hour sleep at zong han's house.
It was a long day out yesterday.
Went to eat dinner with Vincent and Wai Heng at Hot Tomato at Nex and then Kenny came.
After eating went to buy movie tickets.
Wanted to watch 2 movies.
Girl in pinafore and conjuring.
But end up girl in pinafore sold out at 9.20 one so we just bought the counjuring at 11.40.
We were damn scared for conjuring.
And we were sitting second row.
I kept thinking, omg I'm definitely going to die in the theater.
But end up, the movie wasn't as scary as I thought it would be.
This doesn't mean it's not scary, it's still scary.
Go and catch it to find out hahaha.
So after that headed to zong han's house to "MAHJONG".
Supposedly.
Then in the end we just end up watching some dota comp.
And stalking some girls.
Yes.
We did that.
DK vs Alliance.
And then everyone just fell asleep cause the match was too boring.
I was the last to sleep.
The match ended at 5am and I went to sleep.
Then freaking hell, zh got some alarm that rang at 6.30am.
So I woke up and went toilet.
Then felt so hungry so decided to wake up and go eat breakfast.
Went to eat macs and then after that headed home.
Freaking tired but then everyone wanted to dota.
So we dota dota dota until now.
Which is 1.34pm.
Some arguments in the last game.
Lol.
It always sucks when your friend scolds your another friend.
And you're the centre man.
And being like "fuck this shit".
Hahaha.
Well who cares.
Ain't gonna affect anything.
Anyway, the booking in feeling is eating me up.
And it's only saturday.
I don't know why.
Maybe OCS is really not for me.
It's really not that easy.
I must say it's tough.
And I really want to bond with my buddy, section mates and platoon mates fast.
I really need them to motivate me throughout the 9months.
Definitely not going to pull through this myself.
Need alot support.
And right now there's like less things to motivate me for my book out.
Nah not climbing.
Lost the psyched to climb hard and train hard.
Going to the army makes me feel less involved with the world around.
That also means making me feel like I'm stuck in my own bubble of thoughts.
Which I can't relate to anyone outside the world.
It's sick to go to army.
It's like living another life.
I don't like two different personality of me.
It's not real.
Ahhh.
All this bullshit reflection always hits me when I'm very tired.
If not I won't think at all.
Guess it's good and bad.
But I need to pick myself up for this journey.
A long journey indeed.

OCS (CLM)

These 3 weeks have been so packed and busy that I couldn't have time to stop and think about anything.
There's really nothing much to say about life in OCS.
Because it's really just shag.
So far things are going fine.
Starting to get to know my section and platoon more.
My buddy changed from Derrick to Guo Wei.
Still unfamiliar with the people around me.
But I got a good feeling that all of us will be very close together after service term.
Or I HOPE that would be the case.
If not we will definitely die together in our overseas training.
What I think is if all of us really rely on each other for help, and all of us really help each other, I think we can definitely pull through this 3 months if not 9 months together.
It's really not easy to be part of this school.
Where everyone is so up there and everyone has their own opinions.
So how to know who's the up there of the up there?
The only way is to make the training tougher.
So imagine, during BMT, all the Officer Cadets stepped out when they are tired to help others.
But now imagine in OCS, all the people around you all Officer Cadets.
And the only way to differentiate how up there you are, is to make everything damn shag.
And I can tell you, my leadership challenge was so damn shag.
Then the instructors could only say that this is nothing compared to other events next time.
Thinking of that it really mind fucks me.
Like how am I going to survive this 9 months throughout.
Let's see what this service term brings me first.
For now, it's a holiday.
Shall use this time wisely.
Get some rest, get some fun and more importantly get some love from the people around me.
See you guys.

2 more hours

and I'll be leading my new phase of Army life.
Sitting in front of the computer with my breakfast right now.
Milo, ham and cheese sandwich.
Having my usual morning cold.
Annoying nose.
Anyway, this will be the last post before I book in.
The next time you'll see me post would prob be in the 2nd week of August.
Hahahaha.
Well, who even reads this now?
It's really getting so near now.
2 more hours and I'll be at SAFTI MI.
Seeing new commanders, new platoon mates and new buddy.
Quite excited to meet my buddy who will be going through shit with me for 9 months.
Wonder what kind of person he'll be.
Hahaha.
I've packed finish my stuffs.
One fucking big duffle bag and one fucking big field pack on my right now.
Actually I should be leaving soon.
It's 6.33am.
Alright shall hurry up finish my breakfast and gtfo of my house now.
Gonna miss CIVI LIFE!
See you readers!
Take care.
Bye!

OCS

Hello everyone!
Good news for me!

This was what I wanted and I got it!

Woke up at around 9.30 am.

So stressed up about my posting.

Like what if I cannot go to OCS / SCS.

Man for life.

But when I think about it, what really matters is how you treat your vocation.

If you're gonna use the best out of it, whatever vocation you are posted to, it's the same.

But if I were posted to become a man I don't think I'll probably say the two lines above la. LOL.

It's gonna be a tough 9 months I supposed.

And I'm excited and scared for it.

Not ready but I'm definitely sure that I'll gain a lot from this 9 months.

It's all gonna start on monday.

With a 3 weeks confinement.

Hosehbo.

I bet my IPPT confirm cannot gold already.

Hahaha.

Can't believe I'm gonna sleep with a whole lot of new strangers on monday.

Wait for it....

HO DAMN SON!

Thanks to all my supportive section mates in BMT.

I really thank each and everyone of you who helped me throughout the journey.

Especially my buddy who had taken care of me during the first few days of enlistment when I'm sick.

Gonna miss all of you man.

Hahahaha.

Good bye everyone!

P.S PAY INCREASE LO

WOKE UP AT 3PM

It's been so long since I've woke up at 3pm.
Woke up with a backache.
Always do when I wake up in the afternoon.
Hahaha.
Didn't really felt as good as waking up in the morning.
Sleeping too much isn't too good I guess.
Yea so ate some lunch after waking up.
Then went to bathe and then left home to meet Jmo at Serangoon MRT.
So we met there and then headed to Onsight.
Saw Shawn and Hilman.
So damn long never see them.
Hahaha.
When they saw us they were like EHHHHHHHHHHH.
So saw a lot of my climber friends that I haven't met for at least a month.
Just cause I got lazy of climbing.
Haven't seen Deon, Kai Xuan, Yong Sheng, Min Jian, KWS, Kay Gin and many many more people.
All of them become so strong.
Either that or I've become so weak.
Probably the latter.
Slowly bah.
If I have time I'll try to climb.
Bought membership.
But today's climb didn't really make me want to go back to climbing THAT MUCH.
But I'll try to force myself to go and climb.
See whether I'll find back that feeling and satisfaction.
But it felt good to climb when I have many thoughts in my mind.
Cleared them out.
Sweated them out.
:)
Now my hand damn raw and my feet damn pain.
Too long never climb haha.
So after that went to meet Wei Lun, Fred, Valerie and Xin Horng at DTE.
Went to watch pacific rim.
Nice movie.
Hahaha.
Bought tao huay for them.
So nice of me <3 p="">So after the movie, cabbed home with Xin Horng.
Just played 1 round of dota with my platoon mates.
LOST :(
Shall go sleep haha.
Good night!

POP LO + BANGKOK

Wow.
Guessed what.
My BMT has come to an end.
Didn't really had time to think about it at all because I was damn tired and need to rush for bangkok.
That 9 weeks in Tekong has kinda changed me.
I remember that poster that said "BMT is not what you leave behind, is what you gain in the days ahead".
I was like ya, fuck this shit.
I wasn't prepared for my freedom to be taken away.
And it's the start of confinement week.
Never felt so happy to be in Singapore (Civilian life) before.
It felt really very good.
Like small things like seeing your family, eating some good food makes you so happy.
Just sharing stories with my family felt really good.
Cause there's like no one else to talk to about life in Tekong.
Then slowly I get to realised that I have two lives.
Two completely different life.
The weepin in tekong and the weepin in Singapore is different.
It's really a whole new different world.
And then I learn how to be more selfless.
Help people when I can.
And then weeks after, I realised that I have to help myself first before I can help other.
So I always make sure I'm fit and healthy and mentally there to help people.
And the two words that I'll probably take away from Tekong / Sir Lester is Respect and Humility.
I think these two words will bring me far.

During my 3D2N in bangkok I keep thinking of singing on.
The pay is really good.
And maybe I'll get used to Army life.
But these thoughts are not gonna be confirmed until I see how it goes in my next vocation.
Bangkok was fun.
Shopping and eating and eating and shopping.
Basically the things there are really cheaper than in Singapore.
Bargaining things never felt so fun before.
Hahaha.
The food there is okay.
There was this $3 ramen which tasted not bad.
But damn little.
Hahahaha.
And we wasted freaking 1000 baht for the Floating Market.
The picture we had in mind and the actual scene was two complete things.
And it's quite funny we wasted like $40 to sit on a super boring ride.
Well, we gotten over it.
Hahahaha.
Just that when we see clothes that are worth 1k baht, we'll be like "Oh, that's one floating market."
Hahaha.
Got really drunk on the first night.
I only remembered singing and dancing to Splash Out 3 2 1.


The more I listen to it, the more nicer it gets.
Hahaha.
KHO DU THOE NOI CHAN ENG A POET LA!
Yeah, bought a lot a lot of shirts.
And some pants.
Eat a lot of food.
But I thought the food could be better since we were outside.
But everything tasted damn good because we were forever hungry.
Hahaha.
Oh and we went for MASSAGING.
Freaking shiok.
Massaged on first and second day.
At first it felt quite weird.
Especially when the massager was massaging my inner thighs.
She got so freaking close to my dick.
And I got seriously scared.
But overall it was shiok la.
LOL.
Really enjoyed myself in Bangkok, took my mind off Army and life for awhile.
Since there's some time now, it's time to think and reflect upon my life so far.
Ciaoszx

Guards

This is so touching.

Crazy night

Yesterday night was the best.
It's like our last night in 5th coy and all the commanders are not around.
So all of us went crazy.
It was like a zombie infection.
Like World War Z.
Platoon 1 and 2 started putting camo on their face and throwing powder everywhere.
Then the whole floor was so dirty and slippery (cause of liquid detergent)
Then platoon 1 and 2 fought for awhile then we went down and watch.
Because it was really damn noisy so we went down.
At the staircase there, could see everyone damn dirty.
REALLY DIRTY.
All the camo everywhere, powder on the hair.
Then later two of the platoon 2 people came running up.
Those spectating all CHIONG UP to their own floor.
Then locked inside our bunk.
Peeped through the windows and saw those two guys walking in our corridor.
They went to section 1 and then we came out.
Then our platoon decided to join in.
So we filled like 8 pails of water.
Went to splash platoon 2 people and they came trying to "infect" us.
LOL.
Fucking funny.
Can you imagine doing this in coy line?
Then went up to refill water and we used all the field signals to attack platoon 3.
One guy was using his phone at the staircase.
Then we halt and danger.
Then we observe.
He's like sentry.
So we sprayed some water down from our pail and he ran away.
So after he ran away, all of us started charging towards the whole of the corridor of platoon 3.
But they all decided to hide inside the bunk like how we did.
They kept all their LBV and all started shouting at us say "EH FUCK DONT PLAY LEH"
Damn turn off.
In the end me and Andrew decided to go and help platoon 2 clean up.
It was really damn dirty the floor.
Lol.
Okay that's about it.
3 MORE DAYS TO POP.

This is too true haha

BMT is coming to an end

And there are really some thoughts in my mind.
How has these 2 months changed me?
Definitely, I have changed for a better person.
Being more responsible, more understanding and more filial.
But most importantly, I've learnt to cherish the small things that make you happy.
Because without these little things, it's hard to survive the boring life in here.
And also, I've become a more practical person.
Instead of talking bullshit, I'm actually doing shit for myself now.
As a pre-enlistee, I always like to talk about changing myself.
But my temper just overloads everything.
I'm quite glad that NS has raised my temper point, making me a less hot tempered person.
Can tank more shit now.
I have also become a more listening person.
Despite all the good things that has changed, I think there are some bad things too that I may have not realised YET.
So when the time comes, I guess I will change.
Ahhhh, I'm gonna sleep now damn shag.
Hahahaha.
Good night guys.
Army makes my lights out timing earlier.
Hahhaha.
POP SOON!

Just reached home not long

Not in the right mind to blog properly.

Shall blog tomorrow haha.

Pussy field camp

Yes.
We've made history as Singapore's most pussy field camp INDOORS.
Only day 1 was outfield.
The haze was so bad that we had to cancel field camp.
Not really cancel, we still eat ration packs and stuff.
BUT IN THE BUNK.
Can bathe and shit.
I feel damn pussy man.
The first two days of field camp felt shitty.
Felt like a loser.
Third day when they gave us the letter (which was supposed to be given during shell scrape digging), I was like, I DONT DESERVE MY PARENT'S LETTER.
I was like, aiya, also never been through any shit, won't cry one.
But in the end, I read it and I cried.
Really.
Felt really bad as a son.
Like I haven't been a good son all this while.
Then I will think of all the bad things I did.
Like shouting at them, making them worry for me.
Why do they deserve all this bull shit from me?
Really think a lot.
And the thoughts were just so heavy, and I cried in front of my platoon mates, in front of my sir and sergeants.
Other than that emotional and thought provoking period, the rest of my confinement week were pretty much boring.
Hahahaha.
Shall go and dota!
This book out so damn precious~

Finally got some time to sit down

It's been a really hectic week.

First off, I've just became the platoon IC on Wednesday.

It was stress at first because of all the responsibility of counting strength and leading marches so on and so forth.

The first night I keep rehearsing first parade and all the commands in my head so I won't screw up the day after.

Then I couldn't really sleep well haha.

Then thursday I woke up earlier so I could prepare myself earlier for the day.

So that diminished my sleep further more.

But it was okay la so far.

Things are going quite smoothly.

But the commanders were disappointed with us yesterday.

When my sergeant just walk away from the platoon, I realised I was the only one to lead this platoon now.

So I looked at them and think, "What do I do now?"

And to be honest, I have no fucking idea what to do when my sergeant just walk away like that.

Cause normally I would take instructions from the sergeants and then pass it down to the platoon.

Like the medium between sergeants and the platoon.

But now there aren't any instructions to be passed down.

I was really didn't know what to do.

But in the end, I kinda like squeezed everyone and talk to them about how I feel about our marching and stuffs.

And that we should give them better standards since their standards are so high.

It felt kinda good to actually take charge of something.

Stress is definite, but the experience was great.

Army life aside, was really crazy last night.

Went to XH's BBQ at pasir ris park.

Drank alcohol in gulps.

Was really damn high.

Everyone was drunk.

I was drunk to the extent that I couldn't even walk properly.

Nicole, Valerie, Wei Lun, Wilfred, Leon and Shaon.

All of us were drunk.

We got damn high.

I swear no one was sober.

Or rather no one wanted to be sober.

Drank my heart out yesterday and felt more relieved after releasing myself last night.

I know it isn't a good way to vent myself but well, it kinda worked.

Really crazy night hahaha.

Leon and Shaon vomitted all over.

Shaon knocked out cold on his own vomit.

Damn sick.

Went home at 5+ am.

Hahahaha.

Shall go celebrate Chelsea's birthday.

BYE GUYS.

See you 2 weeks later.

Time for field camp. 

Where ah boys become man.

It's time to book in!

Pumpfest was wow.
Too bad I couldn't catch the finals haha.

It was a very fruitful weekend.
Gotta look forward to my next book out before field camp.
Booking in lo.

SEE YOU EVERYBODY!

First time

I EVER HIT 67.0 kg.
This is bad.
I've gained 3-4 kg permanently already.
Even when I shit already and I haven't eat for some time, I'm still 65.0
Eating too much in camp hahaha.
On a side note, went to climb yesterday.
Even though I SUCKED DAMN BADLY.
It wasn't as bad as I thought I will feel.
Quite fun.
Hahha.
After climbing yesterday went to meet up with kenny, ivan and vincent.
Wah so fucking shag man.
I was already shagged at around 10+.
We stayed at vincent's house to drink and eat until 4am.
Damn shag serious.
I touch the bed I instead wake up already.
Lol.
Gonna go out now to watch pumpfest's finals.
Gonna eat now, damn hungry.
CIAOxzS.

Lol

Walked the exact same path as this girl from Buangkok MRT for around 10 mins.
Then end up she lives third floor.
I think she damn scared that I rape her or something.
Can you believe the same guy followed you for 10 mins and enter the same lift as you?
I think she freaked out cause she kinda "run" out of the lift when the door opened.
Hahahaha.

The world just feels different now

I'm probably the one that caused it.
Because I'm the one that feels that all my friends felt different.
In army, you really have no time to sit down and think.
Either you're packing your things, or you're so tired that sitting down makes you just feel like sleeping.
There's just no legit time for you to reflect upon life.
Reflect upon the past present and future.
No time at all.
You're just rushing and rushing.
Getting instructions and get fucked all over.

I know the punishments in 5th coy is less than other coy. (I SUPPOSED, cause other coys done more push ups than us)
I know army just wants to shag us out mentally and physically.
But I'll definitely not let it happen to me.
MUST. USE. MY. BRAINS.
Don't let shagness over take me.

On a side note, I'm physically tired.
And damn lazy to even go and climb.

However, I'm glad to say that I'm getting used to the routines.
Of booking in and out, staying in camp, then civi life.

IFC next week.
Definitely gonna tire me out.
The only thing that I can rely on is myself.
My own brains.
My brain will save my ass.
Definitely.

And bam, I have to write an essay on "My defining moment"
I guess all the previous ns batch everyone have to write this essay too.
500 words.
Emo.

Blah.
Gonna dota with marcus foo.
Hahaha.
Bye.

Booking in

This is bad.
I'm having negative thoughts of booking in even though it's a saturday.
If my weekends are all so negative, my these 2 years cfm jia lat one.
Maybe still trying to adjust.
Hahaha.
But I sincerely miss civilian lives for 7 days a week.
Now all the things I did before army must be cramped into less then 48 hours.
Climbing, dota, meeting with friends and my own CHILL TIME.
Then now the 48 hours must incorporate some jogging if not I will fail my 2.4 and then RT.
Which means even less than 48 hours.
It's really quite tiring to follow strict rules.
The loss of freedom is really in a snap.
Once you step onto tekong ground, good luck.
Your freedom has been suspended for 5 days.
And after the 5 days, you will be so mind fucked about army.
That being a civilian don't even feel like one.
Looking at myself in the mirror just feels so sad.
Because it feels like I'm looking at myself in the mirror in platoon 4's toilet.
Really hope I will get used to this.
Hope.
That's really what I need now.

Army

is really all about perspective.
All about mentality.
If you treat army with a positive mindset, it's not really that bad actually.
I couldn't clique with my section mates last week.
But I tried to change my perspective and my way of thinking and I actually could clique with them.
It takes time but well things are changing.
Live firing this week.
Just showing off, I only miss once.
31/32.
Hahaha.
But fuck, the one I miss is the first shot.
AND FUCK, I'm getting guard duty cause of something stupid.
Not sure whether I can blog about the incident.
Hahaha.
If you are really interested you can ask me.
I'm booking in tomorrow night at 2215.
Fucking sian.
I thought army would be easy for me.
Cause I think I'm physically quite fit.
But no, it's really very tiring.
Not physically but mentally.
You just get mind fuck every moment.
And there's just no rest.
Even when you're so tired, you have to push on.
The perseverance is what I'm lacking.
Gotta up my mentality.
If not I'm definitely going to suffer in the days to come.
For now, I'm going to spend my precious day.
Today and tomorrow afternoon.
AND BOOK IN.
GUARD DUTY REALLY FUCKING SIAN ZZZZZZ.
KK BYE.

Right now,

I sincerely don't know which one feels like a dream.
Civilian life or Army life.
Which is reality?

Serena and Jeethi's birthday celebration

Went over to Serena's nice house yesterday.
It's really super huge and all.
I think I've only explored 1/4 of it.
No joke.
Anw went to meet Wei Lun and Leon for brunch at Buangkok's Wendy's at around 12+.
Tried to jog there and end up trying to catch my breath in around 500m LOL.
I don't know what's happening to my lungs.
It's really quite bad.
You wont believe this but I failed IPPT.
All my other results are good except for running.
SBJ 252.
Shuttle run 10.1.
Pull up 25.
Sit up 40.
But 2.4, 13:19.
WTF.
I swear I was gonna die while running the 2.4km in tekong.
Anw, back to topic.
When we are about to finish our food, Wilfred came and bought some ice cream for us.
Lol, I feel quite bad now.
Never pay him ice-cream money and never pay him cab fare.
Aiya nvm 小钱而已.
LOL
So after eating, we cabbed to Serena's house and then we couldn't find her house.
Then later finally found it.
So went in and yup as I said, her house is freaking huge.
Anw it feels weird to see so many girls around.
Honestly.
After the confinement week, like what Dennis told me, the world really seemed damn different now.
Must get used to this life style soon.
So went to play rock band at her house.
Like almost 70 % of the time we're in the air con room.
Because we find it difficult to socialise with strangers.
Hahaha.
There were really a lot of people I don't know.
Except jeethi, serena, wei lun, fred, leon, chawit and shaon.
Fred pang seh us and then we continued playing rock band and eat and lepak the whole time until 12+
Lol.
Then cabbed home with Jeethi, Leon and Wei Lun.
Cab fare $31.
LOL.
Paid $19 for it.
小钱而已.
Feel kinda rich now.
Because I have like $100 to spend on the weekends.
One day for climbing, which is like around $30?
So I have $70 to spent on the other day which I'm not doing so.
Gonna be a rich fuck.
That's the good thing about army I guess.
Hahaha.
All food and facilities are covered in one package.
Anw, live firing next week and I'm kinda worried that I screw it up.
But Wei Lun and Leon say it's damn easy one.
So gonna aim for company's best shot.
Hahahaha.
Damn step.
Well I just came back from a 4km jog just now.
And I swear I'm going to die.
Last time paddlers can jog what 20 rounds.
Now 10 round also want die.
Gotta build back the stamina man.
10 -> 12 -> 15 -> and back to 20.
Feels like a loser when some fat fuck overtake me in IPPT.
Lol.
Alright shall go and bathe and then climb soon!
Ciaozsx.

My first book out

My first book out felt amazing.
I've never felt that amount of freedom I had 3 weeks ago as a pre-enlistee.
I'm doing the same thing, playing dota, using the internet, going out to eat with friends.
But everything just seemed so different.
15 days in tekong really is not joke.
I swear I missed home a lot.
And finally, I'm going to climb tomorrow.
Been so deprived of everything.
Deprived of freedom, deprived of time and more important, deprived of girls.
During the air force talk (7 days after not seeing girl), everyone went crazy.
LIKE WO WO WOWW.
Even though she isn't very pretty.
But she's like a diamond inside army.
Hahahaha.
It's really weird how everyone tried to look out of the windows on the bus when we were getting from changi to pasir ris.
Like we're going on a vacation.
But it's just our home.
My sir told me to as I enjoy these 3 days, think of why I get to even enjoy these 3 days.
If not for the army, will we even have this freedom.
Patriotic as it sounds, it's true to a certain extent.
And by the way, I'm not allowed to blog about NS stuffs so I guessed I will just sum up the 15 days inside.

SHAG

Bryan Teo was right.
It's more shag than climbing even if you don't like climbing.
Hope I'll survive well these 2 months, or maybe these 2 years.
And for now, I'm gonna enjoy these 3 days.
Music never felt so precious.
Food never felt so delicious.
Booya!

And officially the last post before NS

Just had dinner with my climbing buddies.
All the strong men.
Hahahaha.
Gonna not climb and see you guys for some time.
Take care bros.

End of civilian life

Today is the last day of civilian life.
From tomorrow onwards, I'm going to be a soldier.
It is interesting to see that I have been thinking of this day for years.
Since primary school, secondary school.
Counting down by years.
Then counting down by months.
And by days.
And then now by hours.
Reality really hit me hard.
I'm going to lose my freedom.
And I'm afraid I may lose some of my friends.
But well, they say true friendship lasts.
Let's see how this goes in two years.
Tomorrow I won't be sleeping at home anymore.
I'm going to spend 2 weeks sleeping on an unfamiliar bed with unfamiliar people.
Even typing this now makes me feel uneasy.
Because I can't really accept the fact that I'm really going to serve the nation TOMORROW.
I'm already botak now typing all these.
My bag is packed.
I'm just waiting for the time to tick now.
I really wonder what people I will see inside.
How fucked up life would be inside.
And whether what I perceived NS to be is true.
Oh well, gonna spend the last few hours with my family and friends :)
See you all readers in 2 weeks time!

Army in 4 days

Finally able to settle down and write some stuffs.
Been climbing really really hard these few days.
Jmo say marcus yeo told him must crank hard before army, if not come out cui.
He told me lose endurance faster than strength so if we build up strength before army, come out not so cui.
SO WE REALLY CLIMBED FUCKING HARD.
Jmo climbed 6 days consecutively while I rested on Wednesday.
5 days of climbing in a 7 days week.
Wow.
Finger joints are really very painful.
Skin is really very raw.
I was telling jmo that I already forget the feeling of fingers not being raw.
Because it's always there for the whole week.
This whole week has been really happening for me.
Climbing politics.
Definitely very exciting.
And worrying if I see from some perspective.
But who cares, I'm going Army soon.
Out of the league for 2 weeks.
So it's not my problem.
Hahaha.
But I'll definitely miss pogo-ing to tiles.
Like finally learning new things in climbing then ARMY.
Yesterday I asked Dion to do the campus training I did the other time.
The one I followed Sean Mccoll.
He say very fun and I see him do like very fun also.
Wanted to say "When my fingers not raw I join you"
Then I fucking realised that Army was in 5 days.
That sudden realisation really BAM me sia.
Like fucking psyched but cannot do anything.
Cock block.
Oh well, I still have one last climb on Tuesday.
Gonna really cherish it properly.
And the next climb will be on 26 May.
Omfg so long.
Come back sure cui.
Hahaha.
We'll see how army life goes in 4 days time.
Meanwhile, CHILLAX.
Enjoy while I can.
Ciaosxz

Climbing hard this week

Gotta miss climbing when I go in army man.
Things like .....
THIS

Hahaha taken on Monday.
Not a very hard route but I tried a lot of times.
Credits to Jmo

sadfkl

feels good to feel belonged

Anna Akana

Not sure if the things she says on youtube applies to me or it applies to everyone.

Wow

Been so long since I blogged.
Fingers damn raw to blog but I'm still blogging hahaha.
This morning woke up with a dream that I was still taking the Alevels.
Then a moment later I'm in Army.
Both situation sucks.
Made me realise that life now fucking shiok.
Hahaha.
Anyway just finished watching boulder world cup.
Jakob super strong man.
Hahaha.
Whatsapp kg they all while watching.
Gotta go sleep already.
Tomorrow going Wilfred's Chalet.
Hahahah.
Ciaozsx