Monday, November 14, 2022

Finally a quiet and slow night

Where I can hear myself speaking again.

I miss this slow thought.

I think after losing close to 20k recently, my mind has been in a chaos.

Just kept on going about trading days after days.

Ever since I stopped talking to M too.

It's been quite a lonely journey the past 2 months or so.

I've lost so much drive.

Be it with work, friends, family etc.

Just been binging reels and shorts to fill that empty void in my mind.

To only finding out now that it was impossible to fill in that manner.

I envy so many people.

Starting a family, having a partner, doing well at work, having fun at work, balanced lifestyle, doing what they like, starting business, travelling, or even just enjoying the company of their friends.

And yes I do indulge in social media too much recently. 

It was a good distraction while it lasted, before everything came crashing down on me.

I'm gonna take some time to pick myself up again.

And I'm not going to dictate how long it is going to take.

At my own pace.

I'm not giving up on trading just yet though, we will see how my progress on the small account works.

Trading kind of dug into the depth of my behaviour and allowed me to see the shit emotion I have.

I guess I'll find out eventually if I can do this for income purposes.

Might give up halfway but as of now I hope to do it for the years to come.


Haven't met many of you.

To those who are even reading this.

Thanks for reading and finding out about my life.

Just the few of you here hahaha I can see the number of views for my post hehe.


Alright, my mind has stopped flowing so I shall stop writing.

It's a nice cozy night.


And the trading grinds continue tomorrow :)

Thursday, November 3, 2022

Pivot point

Let's hope this is the pivot point of my life.

3 November 2022.

Fucking anniversary 

Addiction

I swear to funking God I am this close to insanity.

Someone save me please.

I feel so alone in this.