She knew we did not have a proper closure

She appeared in my dream last night.

I've cried for you again.
It's been almost a year.
11 months.
I wish that you are really happy now.
So happy that nothing bothers you.
I wish I still cross your mind sometimes.

Honestly, that was too heavy of a dream.
You cared and worried about me just like how you did back then.
I knew you did.
And I knew that you were so free back then.
The feeling of limitless, the power of presence.
It was just that one night, but it was the most comfortable night.
We cried our hearts out under the stars.
Nothing bothered us.
We were entangled in that unreal consciousness.
No one would be able to understand that comfort we had with each other.
The pain that came after that.
Knowing that it was only a night of illusion and disguise.
I hugged you so tight that night because I knew all these will disappear when we wake up.
Time passed.
Everyone just had to judge.
I was told to just stop talking to you, it's for my own good.
And so I did.
But deep down I know I worried about how you're handling everything.
Your parents.
I wrote an entry whenever I miss you.
I guess this is that entry again.


Feeling too much now.
I miss you so much that I want to text you right now.