Bad climbing day

So much for training hard once I get into the team.
Today performance was way off than expected.
I really hope that I will get stronger.
But hoping isn't the word to use.
Managing school with climbing is going to be a main problem now.
How much stronger depends on how hard I want to train and how hard I want to train somehow depends on school work too.
But in another point of view, Im affected by my own performance means I still have that passion in me to climb.
And Im glad I found it back after Army.
But needless to say, motivation is a big issue now and I really hope that by joining the team I will get that motivation yet at the same time still keep that passion growing in me.
Because somehow getting stronger and growing passion is two different spectrums.
Unless, I manage to find that equilibrium soon.
This equilibrium will allow me to get stronger and definitely enjoy my climbing sessions.
Till I find that motivation to train hard, studies are in the game too.
It's not going to be easy I can foresee.
But we will see how it goes.
:)
So pessimistic weepin .
Hahaha