Express funded week 1 (And emotions)

Passed my topstep last week.

Trading on this funded account for the 1st week and I'm proud to say I'm up 6k from the first week.

Although this might be a bit sketchy because I hit my max loss limit on the 3rd day but my account wasn't deactivated.

So just praying that their bug on the end saved my life.

Ngl, this is one of the toughest week.

I feel like this whole week was a dream and only finally waking up on the weekend.

As much as I say I have no emotions while trading, I think that I am suppressing all my emotions instead.

Only finally feeling everything when I stop.

I mean this week could have ended really really bad with me busting my account and trying all over again. 

But I'm relieved.

And exhilarated.

Because I think I just earned 6k usd in a week.

It was a really rough fight.

Body auto waking up in the morning and starting trade if I have nothing on.

Really felt like a full time trader.

A beginner one.

Just wanted to note down how distracted I have been throughout the week.

Checking the market every now and then.

Gotten daily loss limit because I was emotional, and hitting mll because I was too eager to enter trades.

It was really a ride of emotions, a roller coaster indeed.

When I was bathing this morning, I just snapped out from my trading daze and realise holy shit. 

I just earned 6k in a week!

This whole thing might and should work out eventually.

If I can draw out more money than I put into paying for the combine, then I should be profitable.

And it is honestly very very achievable.

Thinking of the road from here excites me.

I felt like I was lost for more than a year.

My goals in life were all over the place.

If I can just make this work, there's so many more intangible things I want to do.

And at the top of my head, just repaying my parents, hanging out with my friends (just treating them to meal or something for being there for me through all these toughest times)

It is (as I always put it) INSANE.

And lastly, find back my love for film / content creation because that's the core of my life.

The list goes on but I have to keep on fighting.

I am hopeful now.

It's been awhile since I have been so hopeful. 

Let's continue grinding.

Good job weeps :')

<3