Birthday

It's always on occassions that I feel so bad about myself.
As a son to be more exact.
Always tell myself I wanna be a better son but always end up giving more problems to my parents.
I honestly want to spend more time with my family.
But I always give excuses to myself like "not in the best of mood" "busy" etc.
And the worst thing is I actually realised this but don't do a thing.
Oh well, but I really think I'm not in the best of mood these few days/ weeks.
Just so much thoughts in my mind.
Don't even know what I'm thinking about.
I'm glad I bought a book again.
Reading seems to bring out the inner emotions which sometimes blend in with the characters and stories.
I really need a way to find myself.
And sometimes it's really quite pointless to speak to people.
It's not like they can help.
Maybe yes in the physical level.
I don't even know what I'm typing sometimes.
Hahaha.
I just need a good break.
From everything.