Haunts

During training today, I was doing a route.
And I slipped on my foot and fell from the end tile.
During the fall, images from Qing Dao flowed into my mind without any form of control.
Every single feeling I felt back there came haunting me.
The pain, the twisted shin, the popping sound, the cold, the helplessness.
All these emotions came rushing in and I couldn't even get rid of it.
The harder I close my eyes, the clearer the image of me lying on the cold, hard rocks.
And the pain and worried looks.
And how I felt like I worried my parents.
The hospital journey.
The cracking back of the shin for casting.
The doctors, the nurses.
The lying on the trolley bed being wheeled in from the ambulance.
The phone call I had with my father back in the hospital.
All these thoughts just came rushing in when I closed my eyes.
I couldn't help but release all of them out.
So I kind of bawled in front of my teammates.
I was so scared.
It was really so traumatic.
Felt scarred.
Thought I got over the fear but I guess not.
No wonder I still cringe whenever the image project behind my eyes.
It really sucks.
The feeling of being brought back to that spot.
The cry was good I guess.
Kind of made me feel alive again.
Oh well, I guess I'm fine now.