Pussy field camp

Yes.
We've made history as Singapore's most pussy field camp INDOORS.
Only day 1 was outfield.
The haze was so bad that we had to cancel field camp.
Not really cancel, we still eat ration packs and stuff.
BUT IN THE BUNK.
Can bathe and shit.
I feel damn pussy man.
The first two days of field camp felt shitty.
Felt like a loser.
Third day when they gave us the letter (which was supposed to be given during shell scrape digging), I was like, I DONT DESERVE MY PARENT'S LETTER.
I was like, aiya, also never been through any shit, won't cry one.
But in the end, I read it and I cried.
Really.
Felt really bad as a son.
Like I haven't been a good son all this while.
Then I will think of all the bad things I did.
Like shouting at them, making them worry for me.
Why do they deserve all this bull shit from me?
Really think a lot.
And the thoughts were just so heavy, and I cried in front of my platoon mates, in front of my sir and sergeants.
Other than that emotional and thought provoking period, the rest of my confinement week were pretty much boring.
Hahahaha.
Shall go and dota!
This book out so damn precious~

Finally got some time to sit down

It's been a really hectic week.

First off, I've just became the platoon IC on Wednesday.

It was stress at first because of all the responsibility of counting strength and leading marches so on and so forth.

The first night I keep rehearsing first parade and all the commands in my head so I won't screw up the day after.

Then I couldn't really sleep well haha.

Then thursday I woke up earlier so I could prepare myself earlier for the day.

So that diminished my sleep further more.

But it was okay la so far.

Things are going quite smoothly.

But the commanders were disappointed with us yesterday.

When my sergeant just walk away from the platoon, I realised I was the only one to lead this platoon now.

So I looked at them and think, "What do I do now?"

And to be honest, I have no fucking idea what to do when my sergeant just walk away like that.

Cause normally I would take instructions from the sergeants and then pass it down to the platoon.

Like the medium between sergeants and the platoon.

But now there aren't any instructions to be passed down.

I was really didn't know what to do.

But in the end, I kinda like squeezed everyone and talk to them about how I feel about our marching and stuffs.

And that we should give them better standards since their standards are so high.

It felt kinda good to actually take charge of something.

Stress is definite, but the experience was great.

Army life aside, was really crazy last night.

Went to XH's BBQ at pasir ris park.

Drank alcohol in gulps.

Was really damn high.

Everyone was drunk.

I was drunk to the extent that I couldn't even walk properly.

Nicole, Valerie, Wei Lun, Wilfred, Leon and Shaon.

All of us were drunk.

We got damn high.

I swear no one was sober.

Or rather no one wanted to be sober.

Drank my heart out yesterday and felt more relieved after releasing myself last night.

I know it isn't a good way to vent myself but well, it kinda worked.

Really crazy night hahaha.

Leon and Shaon vomitted all over.

Shaon knocked out cold on his own vomit.

Damn sick.

Went home at 5+ am.

Hahahaha.

Shall go celebrate Chelsea's birthday.

BYE GUYS.

See you 2 weeks later.

Time for field camp. 

Where ah boys become man.

It's time to book in!

Pumpfest was wow.
Too bad I couldn't catch the finals haha.

It was a very fruitful weekend.
Gotta look forward to my next book out before field camp.
Booking in lo.

SEE YOU EVERYBODY!

First time

I EVER HIT 67.0 kg.
This is bad.
I've gained 3-4 kg permanently already.
Even when I shit already and I haven't eat for some time, I'm still 65.0
Eating too much in camp hahaha.
On a side note, went to climb yesterday.
Even though I SUCKED DAMN BADLY.
It wasn't as bad as I thought I will feel.
Quite fun.
Hahha.
After climbing yesterday went to meet up with kenny, ivan and vincent.
Wah so fucking shag man.
I was already shagged at around 10+.
We stayed at vincent's house to drink and eat until 4am.
Damn shag serious.
I touch the bed I instead wake up already.
Lol.
Gonna go out now to watch pumpfest's finals.
Gonna eat now, damn hungry.
CIAOxzS.

Lol

Walked the exact same path as this girl from Buangkok MRT for around 10 mins.
Then end up she lives third floor.
I think she damn scared that I rape her or something.
Can you believe the same guy followed you for 10 mins and enter the same lift as you?
I think she freaked out cause she kinda "run" out of the lift when the door opened.
Hahahaha.

The world just feels different now

I'm probably the one that caused it.
Because I'm the one that feels that all my friends felt different.
In army, you really have no time to sit down and think.
Either you're packing your things, or you're so tired that sitting down makes you just feel like sleeping.
There's just no legit time for you to reflect upon life.
Reflect upon the past present and future.
No time at all.
You're just rushing and rushing.
Getting instructions and get fucked all over.

I know the punishments in 5th coy is less than other coy. (I SUPPOSED, cause other coys done more push ups than us)
I know army just wants to shag us out mentally and physically.
But I'll definitely not let it happen to me.
MUST. USE. MY. BRAINS.
Don't let shagness over take me.

On a side note, I'm physically tired.
And damn lazy to even go and climb.

However, I'm glad to say that I'm getting used to the routines.
Of booking in and out, staying in camp, then civi life.

IFC next week.
Definitely gonna tire me out.
The only thing that I can rely on is myself.
My own brains.
My brain will save my ass.
Definitely.

And bam, I have to write an essay on "My defining moment"
I guess all the previous ns batch everyone have to write this essay too.
500 words.
Emo.

Blah.
Gonna dota with marcus foo.
Hahaha.
Bye.

Booking in

This is bad.
I'm having negative thoughts of booking in even though it's a saturday.
If my weekends are all so negative, my these 2 years cfm jia lat one.
Maybe still trying to adjust.
Hahaha.
But I sincerely miss civilian lives for 7 days a week.
Now all the things I did before army must be cramped into less then 48 hours.
Climbing, dota, meeting with friends and my own CHILL TIME.
Then now the 48 hours must incorporate some jogging if not I will fail my 2.4 and then RT.
Which means even less than 48 hours.
It's really quite tiring to follow strict rules.
The loss of freedom is really in a snap.
Once you step onto tekong ground, good luck.
Your freedom has been suspended for 5 days.
And after the 5 days, you will be so mind fucked about army.
That being a civilian don't even feel like one.
Looking at myself in the mirror just feels so sad.
Because it feels like I'm looking at myself in the mirror in platoon 4's toilet.
Really hope I will get used to this.
Hope.
That's really what I need now.