Xinmin

I miss Xinmin a lot.
Or rather the friends there.
The thing I missed the most is the studying spirit before O levels.
It's like a normal school day.
Then we'll go to canteen to study with other people after school.
Then it would be super productive.
Then after studying, we will go play soccer together in uniform under the twilight.
Everybody feels so happy when playing.
And more importantly, I don't feel guilty when playing.
And then when it turns really dark, we go back into the bright canteen and continue studying again with our wet uniform.
After that we will be filling the canteen with laughters and crap.
Occasional craps with Mr Zhuang and other teachers.
In the past I would always think of working hard for the teachers and for myself.
I also miss the times walking home with Ivan Low, Ivan Chong and Yong Sheng and other people talking about life.
I miss this kind of life so much.
It's really "work hard play hard".
Now it just ended up into "work less play less" too.
It's really a mundane life.
I don't work hard enough.
And now that being in MJC, I know that I can work very hard.
But I don't get to play hard because no one can replace the fun joy and laughter we had few months ago.
The word "play hard" just disappeared.
Now in a whole new studying environment, it just feels that something is missing.
Something that is real and warm.
Or rather, somewhere is missing too.
Somewhere which is like a second home.
I wonder if any other feels the same?
Maybe it's sense of self-satisfaction that I'm looking for.
I've lost it completely.