The Run

Other days, I would just blog for the sake of updating it.
Today's post will be kind of different.

As I ran just now, I was doing reflections.
I realised when I got into JC I got kind of weird.
As in sometimes I'm okay but at other times what I say to people is just weird.
Things that make people think I'm weird.
So what's happening?
I was thinking about the cause of it.
And I came up with a conclusion that I haven't been doing reflections recently.
Reflections are so important.
It's like homeostasis for me.
Either when I get too low or get too high, reflections bring me back to normal.
That one hour and nine minutes run made me realised a lot of things.
Things like friendship, family.
I haven't been treating all my friends equally.
I haven't been treating my parents well.
Always raising my voice at them.
And at the end of it, I realised I was wrong and I feel guilty.
It really sucks to see how my own character is going hay wire.
I was considered a good leader in the past.
Especially during Project "Yes, we can!"
And I had a very good mindset in the past.
One of my principles in life at that time was to live everyday to its fullest.
That I must feel happy everyday.
Because in a day, you can choose to be happy or sad.
Why tortue yourself with sadness and hatred.
That was me in the past.
I totally forgotten about my principles.
Come to think of it, I've talk lesser to my Secondary School friends.
And I seldom talk truthfully in front of my JC friends.
So the result is everything stuck inside of me.
Entering JC, I just threw away my past.
I become more sociable, less hardworking and lastly, more weird.
I don't speak that much in secondary school.
Or rather, I won't speak to people who I hardly know in the past.
I would always find time talk to my very good friends such as Jun Wen, Kelvin, Zhi Yang, Zong Han, Wing, Ivan, Chong Yu, Minnie, Peter, Xin Horng.
Now I don't even talk to them.
Now I'm only hanging on to these relationships through impromptu outings and occasional talks on msn.
I really miss the old me.
I know I've changed somehow.
People stop sharing to me about their secrets.
And I've stopped sharing to others about my secrets.
In MJC, I would always be wary of my own actions and behaviour.
Sometimes I try too hard to be part of a clique.
And it end up being weird.
Then I think, do I have to even do that?
I should just be me.
Be myself.
Be the old Wee Pin.
Let's hope this reflection really helps.
I don't want to be a freak.