Out of touch

Honestly, there's no joy having a head like this.
The amount of nonsense that floods everyday.
And there's no such thing as an off button.
I can't just switch out from it.
It just gradually leaves (or in some case intensifies) over time.
But when it hits, it happens in a swift.
How unfair.

I'm out of touch with you.
I forgot how to handle you so please don't come back into my life.
Please not now.
I've too much things to handle right now.
And it's causing a toll on my own mental health.
It's so scary that it is so overwhelming every time I wake up.
And the immense fear of switching on my phone to face work or new problems.
So much things to do but I just feel so unfair sometimes.
But this is what I signed up for.
No one's responsible for a good show.
Except for you.
You're the boss.
And to be honest, I'm tired of being called the boss.
I'm really tired and I lost motivation and I just want to let go of all this and disappear somewhere.
But looking at how crumbled things are now, there seemed to be no one that will be there to listen to this despair.

Tough times.