Blog song

My blog song brings me back to the time where I am so with myself.
The times when I really think about who I really am.
And how every thoughts sprung out from me as the centre.
In the way that my life revolves around me.
And not trying to catch up with the speed it is revolving.

This semester has been a mess.
Academic wise I feel like I'm so off for every modules.
Climbing wise I feel like I'm deproving because of trying to 'feel' my body and my movement.
Because somehow I get too overly affected by my own performance.
I should disregard my own performance as of now and really just understand my body.
And tell myself that it is okay to be way back even at the bottom.
As long as I know how my body works.
I want to be able to feel every twitch of muscle when I do certain movements.
I want to be able to listen to my body, feel my lungs breathe, feel the contact my finger tips are having with the handholds, I want to be able to isolate the muscle group needed to do the particular move.
Climbing has been sticking with me for a long long time.
It's been 7 years of climbing.
For the first time I'm thinking so much about how capable the human body is.
And the human mind of course.
I feel like the body and mind is interconnected.
And I feel this connection (or disconnectedness) especially in climbing.
Some days the connection is too much that my all the thoughts in my mind spill over to my body when I'm climbing.
And that just means I'm going to be climbing like shit.
And some days, I climb well and it has a very positive impact to my mind for the rest of the day.
And then there are days where I can't feel any connection.
Like the mind and body are just two different separate entities.
And this doesn't mean I'm climbing badly, some times when that happens, I can climb pretty well too.
I guess I just want to work towards positive mind and body connection.
Hmm, big words.
There were three training sessions so far when I feel my body so much that it scared me in a way.
It was such an amazing feeling to be able to feel everything.
Past two training sessions was good but it falls under the (mind and body not connected) kind of good.
I was just riding on the psyche.
And I know that if my peers aren't there I probably won't climb as well.
It's different from the sessions when I don't send all the routes but I'm so satisfied with myself because I know my body and I can control it so well.

Hahaha, wanted to blog generally about how I am now.
But just end up talking about climbing.
I'll just say the four things that are worrying me as of now are as follow (in no particular order)
1. BA
2. Academics
3. Climbing
4. Friendship and relationship (due to the concentration of the above 3)

Today in particular was a really weird day.
Woke up really tired and felt a lil sick.
Stupid sinus stayed with me from 10am to 3pm.
And from morning till then just felt so disconnected.
Shoulder PT woke me up I guess.
And I lost my cigg pack :')
But today's training was pretty good!
Hope this carries on
For the next few days, shall rush my epistemology essay.
Wonder how I'm going to argue about my points when I don't even know I'm a sceptic or anti-sceptic
Hahaha.