Negativity vs positivity

It's weird to think positively.
Through all these self-doubts.
A sea of voices telling me that I'm not worth to be cared for and that I deserve all these negativity to myself.
It's fresh in a way to try to flood myself with positivity early in the morning.
Looking at my reflection today, I thought to myself "I'm actually quite cool." (LOL)
It's something for a start I guess.
It does drown out all the other voices if I meant it hard enough.
But positivity makes me feel that I think too highly of myself.
And that I shouldn't because I belong to negativity.
And so many other voices asking me "what are you trying to do now?"
It's weird.
It's really weird to have to talk myself out of me.
It's never that simple with all the things that has been deeply rooted within me.
It does for awhile stops my negative spiral early in the morning.
With that temporary extra space in my mind which were once used for negativity, I began to think more rationally.
Just in that moment, life isn't so hard to pass.
Yet, I have this very strong belief that all this is just going to be for awhile.
But my half-filled with positivity mind now tells me that, it's okay at least you tried and at least I didn't have a noisy head this morning.
Whatever happens later in the day isn't out of my control.
I will be able to control it.
Let's see who will win today?

*it's actually more exciting to view life like that where everyday is a challenge rather than straight out mundane life which you're going to forget in just two days. Let's see what differences do I have today.