As the cold wind blows

Lying down here staring into the sky.
In the middle where darkness and light meets.
Where the sea touches the land.
As the cold wind blows, I could feel both side of me at the same time.
I do have a choice, but I feel stuck in between.
It's not a decision to be made though.
I'm fine being in the middle.
There's nothing nice about the darkness.
Yet darkness is relative, thus there's light.
We were all born into darkness, it is the happenings in life that gives light to us.
Yet why do we yearn something that shouldn't belong to us.
Shouldn't we be satisfied that we do have something, even the smallest of thing.
Humans have too much expectations.
But it isn't wrong to have expectations isn't it?

I do enjoy the basis of human interaction.
In the purest sense.
It reminds me that we're not alone in this world.
And that it reminds me not to be stuck in my own reality and perception of the world.
It's a different dimension all together though.
Communicating with people and communicating with myself.
It's not really something to be compared about since they're from different dimensions.
Yet the basis of interactions require us to explore each other's dimension.
To see what other people see, and to let people see what I see.
It requires a certain level of understanding and experience to see what other people see.
And to feel what other people feel.
It gets tiring at times, to do that.
Yet I always find myself reading into everybody's life.
Sometimes all at once.
And that's when I realised I stopped reading into myself.
I haven't ask myself "How am I?" for quite some time.
Taking a step back and looking at myself, I realise that I am slowly getting better.
It's a slippery well where I know I will fall back down.
Just clinging on.
But as I said, there's nothing wrong to belong with darkness.
I guess I just need to be more aware that I'm holding on to the side of the well.
It's an abyss down there.
The deeper you go down a well, the harder it is for you to realise that things are getting worse.
When it's already dark, going down a little more wouldn't make you notice.
I guess that's why it's scary when we go down.
Yet when we are down there, going up a little doesn't change much too.
I guess that's why there are better days and worse days that we can realise yet we still feel generally the same.

Through all these months, I realised that humans need attention.
It is hard to live without it.
Or maybe it's just in my dimension.
I remember tripping in Bali and my head tells me that I'm so alone.
Friends feel superficial, nobody truly wants to know what's up.
And suddenly just feeling that this world is so twisted in the sense that we don't know how to hold proper conversations anymore.
All these social media, whatsapp, telegram.
Idk how bad it has become.
Lol the irony because I'm blogging about this.
I'm losing my train of thought.
Lol that's why the topics are parts by parts.
I guess it's what my head is really thinking about all the time.
There's too much things going on in my dimension now.
I can't really write anymore.
It's time to take care of those voices.
See you soon.
Whoever that is reading this.