In order to live - Yeonmi Park

I came to know about the story of Yeonmi Park when I was serving NS.
My thoughts then was how someone who's around my age (1993) and so beautiful go through so much in life as compared to me.
I remembered how much injustice I felt when I was looking through videos of her.
How we are of similar age but yet the pain that she felt was something I would not understand even up till now after finishing reading her book.
It makes me think about how at any point of time people are suffering yet we are living in comfort without fear.
How things are happening somewhere else in the world while I'm typing this.
I guess I do understand certain things that she talk about.
About living everyday with a wall around your heart.
Containing all the emotions within.
And letting it out would explode into a complete destruction.
It does feel like my heart is a time bomb now.
"And I know if I start crying, I would never stop"

What makes this world of ours unique is probably because everyone has their story to tell.
I believe that we are all made up of experiences.
And it's the experiences that define who we are.
And how we interact with the world is how our experiences communicate with one another.
I really enjoyed reading this book.
It was a $30 well spent.
At first when I started reading, I was skeptical about it because I've read up on Yeonmi Park before and I'm unsure how buying this book will make me uncover things I don't know about myself or about life.
But I was surprised to find out all the hidden untold stories that she did not really go into details on TV or on the internet.
I think I'm someone who is always curious about other people's experiences.
That's one of the reason why sometimes I find having small talks pointless.
Better to keep quiet.
It's been eight seemingly long days since we talked.
And honestly I do feel a little liberated.
But somehow still find myself attached to a string.
The string that connected our experiences.
And for the past few days I've been thinking about it.
Kind of glad I'm not using alcohol as an escape this time.
But still find myself thinking and organising the puzzle within.
These puzzles seemed incompatible right now.
And I'm in an emotional state of lost and clarity.
It's a struggle.
But well, life would seem so much meaningless without these struggles in life.
And thinking back at our conversations, I felt like we have similar thoughts about life.
But yet again, I don't know how similar it is.
Because of the walls in our heart, the strings will never reach deep within.
And we'll never fully understand anyone.