Hmmmm

Sooooo...
Some updates about life.
Just came back from Bangkok four days ago?
Could say it was kind of enjoyable.
Speaking Thai to locals was fun.
Eating good food was fun.
Massaging was fun.
Spending time with friends was fun.
Sitting tuktuk with chin yue and talking about life was fun.
Yeah I guessed it was fun.
It was fun because I could get my mind off for some things for awhile.
Lying down on the playground yet againnnn.
Which means deep thoughts and reflections about life.
Could really use a drink right now.
But I'm so damn broke.
Which is partly the reason why I'm finding job now.
Gg back suntec on the 17th.
Tuition starts on the 18th.
It'll be great if I can find one more kid.
Really damn broke omg.
I cannot take it.
But well life is still great I guess.
Still bothered about certain things you know.
Kind of glad I got to know a new person.
As much as it's troubling at times.
I really do enjoy the times spent the past few days or weeks?
But I really don't know what this is.
Like a "where do we go from here?"
I know time will be the answer.
But I guess time is not as reliable as it seems.
7 years.
Didn't really give me an answer too.
There's just some things in your heart that you want to clear up but your brain tells you not to bother.
Because sometimes it's nice just like that.
But I don't know whether I'm doing the wrong thing.
Because I'm unsure myself.
I don't know what's happening to be honest.
But yet again, maybe this time , time will tell.
Just accidentally felt my right middle finger.
The pen lump.
The scar you get from writing too much things.
Just suddenly recalled the horrendous time preparing for finals.
And wow in a blink for an eye, it's been a semester away from the last finals.
Which means it's been a semester away since I broke my shin.
The thought of the scene is definitely still etched in my mind.
Sometimes scrolling through instagram posts about climbing, especially natural bouldering.
I get that shiver down my spine.
As if my mind was brought back to the exact place of incident again.
It haunts.
But I'm pretty sure I'm about to get back to climbing again.
Have been living a really unhealthy lifestyle since I broke my shin.
0 exercising.
No motivation.
No interest in shit.
Just living everyday as if it's granted to me.
Not really making use of my time wisely.
I guess some friends will just get tired of me one day.
Because it seems that I have all the troubling issues all the time.
Then people won't understand.
And if people try to understand, they get tired.
And wew friendship lost.
And knowing me, I'm not the sort who will really try to find back that lost friendship.
If it's lost it will be lost.
Unless there are efforts shown from the other side.
But oh well, I'm thinking too much again.
Maybe you're thinking "wa this weepin, blog for so many years still like same pattern. Few days only got new problem."
I guess it's because I tend to put too much thoughts into things.
It's just me.
Lol.
So to conclude this post, I guess I'm just a little lost right now.
And I need to drink.
And I need to work to get money for that drink.
HAHAHA.
Nah just kidding.
Don't think the alcoholic me will come back so soon.
But wow, still amazed by how life can still be so up and down even at the age of 22.
Thinking of when this will stop and start getting stable (mundane).
Oh no, is it adulthood and society eating into me.
I scared.
Hahaha okay fking random post.
Good night all.
:))