2015/16 Sem 2 Results

And the results are out.
3.92
A- GEH1034
B+ MA1101R
B+ PC1143 (seriously I thought will be like B- lol)
B PC 1144 (seriously I thought will be better)
B THAI2202 (SERIOUSLY might as well don't take thai anymore)

Hahahaha.
Mixed feelings mixed feelings.
It's considered a good result if I climbed as per normal.
But no I didn't climb and I really think it could be better.
3 unexpected results out of the 5.
But oh well.
If this is the best that I can get, then I probably won't put as much effort for the next 3 years.
Sighhhhhhh.
But okay la.
Nothing to complain about actually.
Physics is tough.
Thai is steep.
Getting a grade like that I guess isn't not too bad.
Just thought it could be a LITTLE better.
Like I expected a 4.1.
But wew,
Kena pull down by 44 and 2202 which if I get B+ too then wow 4.1.
Hahahaha.
Okay yup, that's my results.

IT'S JUST NUMBERS.
(Probably can say this cause I'm feeling alright.)
Don't think I will end the post with "Guess I'm going to work harder next sem"
Because I worked my ass off and this is the results.
Sooooooooooooo, gonna climb harder next sem.
Hope everyone did well~

Feels like I've got a lot to say

But it just gets withdrawn when I see you.
And I don't know what to say.

Equals

Such similarities.
Such pain.

Ingredients for clarity

1 Erdinger White
3 Somersby Apple Cider
1 Jager Bomb
1 Lemon Shot
1 Jim Bean Coke
1 Gas Chamber
3 Harry Potter
Plus GMAX
And a great sleep.

Thanks for the night Chin Yue and Wilfred!















Feeling this weird sense of calm now.
Maybe it will kick in soon.
Maybe the gas chamber haven't wear off.

*edit wew didn't even remembered i blogged last night lol

Bar hopping

for the first time.

Thanks Chin Yue and Wilfred.

GMAX.

Was one of the most exciting thing that we did.

But wow didn't even feel anything.

LOL probably cause we seh.

Shag I damn tired.

I should go cry.

And sleep.

LOLOL

Good night bros.

The more I read into it

The less I get out of it.

Maybe I was right.
That I was just a person.

Hmmm

I don't think it was a good way to think.
And it probably will never be.
But just somehow finding myself associated with it every time I'm having too much thoughts.
And the next day.
Crash.
Crash as if something was missing within.
Feels empty.
Feels weird.
Feels as if the thoughts are slowly refilling after pouring it out last night.
And tonight, it shall be gone yet again.
And the cycle repeats.
This seems all too familiar.
I need to take a step back and look at all these again.
Too much happenings.
In a short period of time.

Please think.

Entangled brain

Waiting for it to untangle and get properly rebooted.
Need one so badly.
Or maybe I just think too much.

Reading through my twitter when suddenly,

Ang Wee Pin ‏@AngWeePin   15 Jul 2012

How I wished I study about black holes, space warp, time warp, worm holes and the universe in school. That would be so interesting I do LOL.

I should really take a break for myself.

Round 1

Calm and intense thoughts.
What would round 2 be?
Hmmmmmmmmmm
Thanks for the night Chin Yue.
Always there to count on.
BUT WOW.
FIRST EVER HAT TRICK.
26/5/2016.
LOL
If you're wondering, it's darts.
Hahaha.
Dota time.
Wew.

All these feelings

As if it was an reenactment.
How it ends is another story.
Yet for me to write.

Thanks for being happy

Great dinner.

But just can't express myself lately.
Why hadn't I just asked?
It's just "Do you wanna talk?
I don't know. Sometimes, it feels like a constant battle within.
Struggling with my own thoughts.
Balancing decisions and things to say every moment in time.
It's not as if I really don't know what you're thinking about.
I just don't know how and where to place myself in your timeline.
And I guess that's why I'm trying to learn more.
I guess this would be what I would say when you asked 怎么了

Thoughts after thoughts.

No matter how repetitive and unbreathable this job is.

There's always time to squeeze in some thoughts.

Or rather, these thoughts always find time to squeeze through.

Maybe I need to fit a self-reflection in.

Soon, I hope.

It's as if

the weather understands.

State of mind

I don't think I can give you the answer you want anytime soon.
Maybe I'll get an answer when you're uncontactable.

Morning blur

Did I just board the bus without tapping?
Quite a heavy mind for the morning.
Work work work

Til tok

As the rain goes tik tok.

Realisation

Finding myself blogging more these few days.
Hahahaha.

ANYWAY, was working at KFC.
YES KFC.
As a "Sjora promoter"
Sounds legit right promoter.
But end up working behind the counter like a KFC staff.
HAHAHA.
Was kind of weird.
But no la I did not like take order and stuffs.
But to be honest time past super fast.
Okay not really SUPER but at least you have things to do all the time.
Repetitive as it is but yeah money man.
But oh well, only two days.
And then Monday to Friday 9-6 job.
STOCK TAKE?
Don't even know what I got myself into.
But hopefully can earn some small pocket money for myself.
Or maybe start saving up for my own exchange in year 3.
That will be nice.
Won't be a burden.
But yeah today Wei Lun and Joey Chiew came to look for me.
LOL bastard they just keep laughing.
But ya I can imagine if Wei Lun worked at KFC I confirm laugh also.
HAHAHA.
But okay la not bad.
Quite an interesting day.
Other than the fact that I didn't bring my phone out.
WEW.
I thought I lost it or some guy stole it.
Luckily I got to borrow a phone from this random stranger and called back home to check.

Maybe just a little too much thoughts for the morning.
Hahahaha.
Good night guys.

Sometimes

It's better to treat your mind and your lips as if they are not connected.
But I guess sometimes it just overspills.
And comes out like a popcorn machine.
At least I have the wind to blow away my troubles.

Not sure

I'm losing myself more.
Or understanding myself more.

Regrets?

Maybe I would if I didn't try.

Rainy days

Seems to make everything fit in.

Maybe

Maybe it's just the alcohol that made the words resonate with such intensity.
But nevertheless, I feel that we should talk it out.
And hopefully even without the alcohol I'll be thinking like how I am now.
I want to know you.
Not what you appear to be.
And I'm sorry for the abruptness.

Thanks

I guess life haven't been so clear since then.
It kind of feels as if the blur has been lifted.
And I'm glad that I could just say all these out.
Felt like years since I've talked like that.
Well, it really was years I guess hahaha.
Really really thankful for that 1 hour 27 minutes.
Thank you :)

Hmmmm

Sooooo...
Some updates about life.
Just came back from Bangkok four days ago?
Could say it was kind of enjoyable.
Speaking Thai to locals was fun.
Eating good food was fun.
Massaging was fun.
Spending time with friends was fun.
Sitting tuktuk with chin yue and talking about life was fun.
Yeah I guessed it was fun.
It was fun because I could get my mind off for some things for awhile.
Lying down on the playground yet againnnn.
Which means deep thoughts and reflections about life.
Could really use a drink right now.
But I'm so damn broke.
Which is partly the reason why I'm finding job now.
Gg back suntec on the 17th.
Tuition starts on the 18th.
It'll be great if I can find one more kid.
Really damn broke omg.
I cannot take it.
But well life is still great I guess.
Still bothered about certain things you know.
Kind of glad I got to know a new person.
As much as it's troubling at times.
I really do enjoy the times spent the past few days or weeks?
But I really don't know what this is.
Like a "where do we go from here?"
I know time will be the answer.
But I guess time is not as reliable as it seems.
7 years.
Didn't really give me an answer too.
There's just some things in your heart that you want to clear up but your brain tells you not to bother.
Because sometimes it's nice just like that.
But I don't know whether I'm doing the wrong thing.
Because I'm unsure myself.
I don't know what's happening to be honest.
But yet again, maybe this time , time will tell.
Just accidentally felt my right middle finger.
The pen lump.
The scar you get from writing too much things.
Just suddenly recalled the horrendous time preparing for finals.
And wow in a blink for an eye, it's been a semester away from the last finals.
Which means it's been a semester away since I broke my shin.
The thought of the scene is definitely still etched in my mind.
Sometimes scrolling through instagram posts about climbing, especially natural bouldering.
I get that shiver down my spine.
As if my mind was brought back to the exact place of incident again.
It haunts.
But I'm pretty sure I'm about to get back to climbing again.
Have been living a really unhealthy lifestyle since I broke my shin.
0 exercising.
No motivation.
No interest in shit.
Just living everyday as if it's granted to me.
Not really making use of my time wisely.
I guess some friends will just get tired of me one day.
Because it seems that I have all the troubling issues all the time.
Then people won't understand.
And if people try to understand, they get tired.
And wew friendship lost.
And knowing me, I'm not the sort who will really try to find back that lost friendship.
If it's lost it will be lost.
Unless there are efforts shown from the other side.
But oh well, I'm thinking too much again.
Maybe you're thinking "wa this weepin, blog for so many years still like same pattern. Few days only got new problem."
I guess it's because I tend to put too much thoughts into things.
It's just me.
Lol.
So to conclude this post, I guess I'm just a little lost right now.
And I need to drink.
And I need to work to get money for that drink.
HAHAHA.
Nah just kidding.
Don't think the alcoholic me will come back so soon.
But wow, still amazed by how life can still be so up and down even at the age of 22.
Thinking of when this will stop and start getting stable (mundane).
Oh no, is it adulthood and society eating into me.
I scared.
Hahaha okay fking random post.
Good night all.
:))

5.20 am

I guess it's really time for a good break.
Break from all these stressful situations.
Time to get my head off and find out what really matters when I get back.
Wished the trip would be longer but oh well. Guess it would be still worth going to bkk.
Hahaha gonna put my Thai 2 into use.
Then wah every time go there my Thai improve Hahahaha.
I guess what I'm feeling now is just relieved.
Relieved that finals are finally over.
Finally done with schrodinger equation and the quantum world.
Done with all these unsolvable integration and differentation.
No more maths.
Just pure emptying of the mind.
And enjoying what life after finals got to bring me.
I think kind of mixed emotions right now.
And I'm really looking forward to seeing things from new perspective when I come back.
This sem has been weirdly amazing.
And I guess this trip signifies the end of the academic year.
And till my next post.......
Sawasdee khrap Singapore.
Bkk phom maa leew!!!
555555

I guess I'm right

It really felt like a dream.

Well

Yet another day .
I think we know it all.
But the words that come out are always what our subconscious are thinking about.
It's like a state of mutual pretence.
I don't think I have a conclusion for all that had happened yet.
I know it's not easy for you.
And I bet you know it's difficult for me too.
I'm sorry if I ever placed you in an undesirable situation.
I know I shouldn't have done all that I did.
But our subconscious is sometimes stronger than what we think we actually are.
It digs me in deep.
It stops me from thinking.
And I don't even know whether you can see things from my perspective.
Don't think you will probably read this but tomorrow will be a new day.
It's a new beginning.
And when the clock strikes 3 it's a decision to be made.
Can't say that all that had happened was a dream after all.
It still happened in space and time.
It's part of a memory.
It will be.
And when the clock strikes 3...

.

Maybe now I understand what you meant by lighting up doesn't seem to solve the problem

Lost

One last paper.
But I'm not really doing my best I feel.
I got distracted.
I felt like I've gotten very much influenced.
I don't know how to feel or how to act.
Maybe I should stop before it gets too bad.
I know I should..
But part of me feels the opposite.
This continuous inner fight is real.
And that makes me feel unreal.
It feels like a dream.
That is happening too fast.
My mind can't catch up with what's happening.
Maybe I'm actually scared.
I'm shaking at the thought.
It really feels like a fast paced dream.
Stuck in this lucidity.
But I know I have a choice to get out.
Or continue living in this dream.
A mixture of true inner realism and a veil of disguise.
This is what I am feeling.
So what should I do?