The red slide

I swear this is one of the most thought provoking area.
Best place to reflect about life.
Life has been fine for me.
Studying is really getting quite mundane.
It feels like a never ending process.
But learning how the universe functions due to equations, it's really quite satisfying sometimes to understand physics.
I'm quite glad that I am enjoying what I am studying honestly.
But the down side of it is that I don't think my grades will ever do justice to this passion for knowledge.
Yet and yet again, I've been wondering how important grades are to us.
But I'll always have this conclusion that the numbers don't matter.

It's really long since I've lied down here staring at the sky.
It's hypnotizing.
The sky might be different everyday, but this red slide that I'm lying on seems to be a constant.
I could feel all the confusion I felt before I entered university.
I could feel my heart broken self.
I could feel the depression I had.
Yet, I could feel the feeling of truth in myself.
I could hear all the voices in my head.
Telling me that I need to lead a free life.
I could also hear the disappointment in my parents' voices.
It's an overwhelming emotion.
I could only feel myself drifting away from reality when I lay here.
But it does bring me back to a certain extent when I leave.
It feels good.
My worries are dissolved.

And when I stand up from this red slide now, I know part of my negative thoughts will stay with this slide.
Not all but it's something.
No wonder I feel so strongly when I lie down here again.
I get reminded.