A swollen knuckle

I know I have to choose one from two.
I know that I have the answer.
Do I?

I've proved that mates are the best.
They are the only truthful people that I can be truthful with.

Happiness? I don't think so.
Jealousy is spoiling everything.

And yes, I have a swollen knuckle.
And the cause? Myself.

On the way home, my behavior and action doesn't feel like myself.
But when I think about it, I am still myself.
This comes to show that I can only be myself when I do reflections.
Not those reflections you do during CCA.
But those that are deep, sad, confusing and frustrating.

I don't think anyone will understand me.
Except for one or two.
And I really cherish my best mate that I can confide to.
TJW. Thank you.
You are the only one that I can open myself to.
I hope that I could be someone that you can open up to too.

Am I being selfish that I want everything for myself?
But can I share?
Impossible.

And the cause of all this emo shit above?
One simple sentence: I want to know.

Let's carry on with life.
Today, started off with A maths lesson.
Listened in class and learnt quite a bit.
Somebody damn grumpy in class.
So during PE, Mr Ho told us to stay in class because it was raining.
So no PE lessons for guys.
But what happened is we play soccer in class!
Then later Mr Tan Thiam Meng saw us BUT never see the ball.
Then he asked what is that sound LOL
We all act as if "Huh? What sound?"
Okay then after PE, it was Biology!
Slacked in class, did skill 3 and then went for recess.
Ate Yong Tau Foo, the best food ever.
So after eating, bought drinks and then went up to sports hall.
Wow.
A magnificent sight.
Alot of graduating classes are playing in the sports hall.
Was wondering HUH? When did this happen? Who started it.
Then Vincent and I saw Chong Yu and Timo at the corner so went to find them.
So knew that it started with 404 and then they say what the VP scolded them because they were late for classes.
Nevertheless, I feel very nice seeing all the Secondary 4s play, regardless of gender.
See 404 and 406 playing captain's ball and then 405 playing also.
Then Secondary 5 playing catching around them.
This is call school spirit.
I could see it.
Then a ball hit me and I dropped the milo packet.
Luckily it didn't explode.
So after awhile, went back to class to pass Sherine her Milo and then it was Mother Tongue lesson!
After I left the class, I saw all of the people who played in the sports hall got scolded by Mr Ho.
What the hell man.
Made them stand under the rain.
Then all the Secondary 4 and 5 were looking down at the parade square from all levels.
Then lessons were so called not started because of this incident.
I guess this scolding session made everyone even closer.
I only knew that Isabel damn man.
Heard from Kenny they all.
The conversation is as follows (not accurate)
Isabel: Can we not stand under the rain?
Mr Ho: Why? Are you sick?
Isabel: I will be when we continue standing here.
Okay so I was in MT room talking to Jun Wen and Tin Fung about fuel cells.
Then was also talking to Jun Wen about the scolding thing.
Then after awhile all of them came back.
So during the lesson slack a lot and then later went back class for Geography lesson.
Geography lesson.
Fatigue shall be the word I will use to describe the lesson.
Really damn tired.
Studied River for the test for about 30 minutes and then the test started.
I think comfirm fail already.
So after the test we had the best thing on Earth!
MAP READING WITH JEREMY!
Wooo! So fun.
Okay so after Geography, went to canteen to have lunch.
Bought noodle again but no more Yong Tau Foo ):
So went to eat with Vincent.
Then later Wai Heng, Branzann, Adam came and then we talk talk awhile before going back to class for Biology remedial.
Before Biology remedial, was kicking some balls again before going back to my seat.
Mrs Seetoh came later and then she gave us all the SPA worksheets that we have lost.
Buffet style.
Go take all the worksheets and then it was the end of Biology remedial.
She released us at 4.15 and then went to canteen with Sherine.
So there were damn little people at first, then holy crap!
All my good friends came!
Kelvin, Wing and Jun Wen came!
Wooo really enjoyed studying today but couldn't really concentrate because of all the jokes behind LOL.
Then later in the night had the SLB celebration or what.
Then they had buffet.
So Mannan helped me take some of the food LOL
Thanks! Damn pai seh sia LOL.
Okay then after awhile more, we all left.
Went home with Ivans and yeap, all those emotional thoughts.
Sorry for not really participating in the talks that both of you were having.

Somebody save me.
I need to know.
I want to know.
I should know.
Like now.