DPDR

Before I start doing some administrative work today, I wish to write this down because it's getting a little overwhelming as I think about it.

These few days, DPDR feels pretty strongly and I really can't function properly, especially moments when I just wake up.

I guess it's good that I recognise it now.

I don't even know how to describe how this feels.

It's like phasing in and out of reality and mostly just moving around this Earth like a possessed soul.

What caused it?

I don't really know, I guess the stress from trading (which I told everyone I had stopped but hands got itchy and lost a few more hundreds last week).

The lack of deep communications with the people around me?

The work that seems cyclical?

And maybe just the lack of spending time with myself and feeling things I'm supposed to feel.

And thus my brain has decided that it's a little too much, telling myself to stop and look around me.

Honestly, work has been really great.

Really enjoyed DP-ing for Ah De even though I feel like I could have done a lot better as a DP.

But professionalism aside, I think it's really nice to work with the crews on Ah De.

Tuesday will be the last day we'll be working together.

I'm sure I gonna miss sitting in Dion's van, rush reading the script and then executing whatever I know or learnt on past sets or from YouTube to shoot this online series.

It has been a really eye-opening experience for me (though initially stressful).

And I wish I can shoot more narratives in the time to come.

There's so much more to learn and so much people to meet.

And just thinking of that just makes me excited about my career.

It's like 4 more weeks to Grampians and honestly pretty excited for it too.

Can finally take a break from this society and just live an alternate experience entirely.

Guess the DPDR feeling is getting away after penning down what's on my mind.

A glimpse of clarity as I write things down.

Allez to myself.

<3