A night to think about 2022

Or maybe even the past year.

Just watched "I fell in love like a Flower Bouquet".

How do I feel?

I just have this analogy of this whole film in short.

Two spheres that have no colours bumped into each other.

They become colourful after that and stuck with each other.

As time went on, they became less colourful, and eventually back to being colourless.

And when they split, their colours regain, maybe more colourful than it used to be.

Quite a typical romance film but I think what was beautiful / applicable to me was the creative side of both the male and female characters.

The normalcy of the society drowned his creative sense.

Struggling with societal norms, that "Life is responsibility."

Which dug really deep into me.

He lost that creative side of him for money.

In that process of seeking that responsibility, he lost the character he used to be.

And that broke the relationship.

And I guess this part hit me pretty hard too.

Back then, I was struggling hard with a career that was so ambiguous.

I remembered many times when our relationships were strained, I was so tired.

I remembered we were quarrelling about money.

Exactly how it was depicted in the film.

I remembered dissing you that you were bad with money management, just spending everything that you've earned.

But I guess all I was shouting out was my fear of not being able to provide for us.

Looking back, I wouldn't say we broke up as peacefully as I would have wanted.

We didn't meet again to talk things out.

But I'm grateful.

That I once had someone loving me and believing in what I am doing.

And more importantly, sharing the same passion of storytelling.

That aside, the society is indeed pretty scary.

In the sense it just creeps on to you like a parasite without you noticing how drained you are from chasing materialistic things.

And when the parasite temporarily leaves, you could suddenly breathe and you see that you have actually lost all that time.

It's as if you were awaken from your dream.

There's this gap in time where it's just all blur.

And that lost time...

We can never get it back.

And I guess what I need was a timely alarm, to remind myself that life isn't all that colourless.

Maybe it could buzz me every week, every month or every year.

As long as it buzzes.

Or maybe...

Wait for the other sphere to bump.

#rawwritingnoedits #mightnotmakesensewhenireadagainbutthisthebest