Obviously

Hiding away the question about the future is not going to help.
Sitting alone here studying for my papers which are in 4 and 5 days later.
Just wondering why am I doing all this again.
I don't think it's a sign of weakness to be complaining about this.
And I think it is right to be questioning why am I sitting here studying and doing this thing called "society".
I'm 22 years old now, if everything in my life goes well, it sort of means that I've lived a quarter of my life.
What have I achieved in trying to answer the questions that have been popping in my head since I was in secondary school?
Nothing.
It frustrates me to see how I'm just heading to what the society expects of everyone.
To educate oneself, to seek knowledge, and to apply what I've learnt, to earn some money.
And then what?
Where do we go from here?
My priority in life haven't changed.
Never a single bit.
Relationship (interactions with people) always comes first.
People in the sense of my loved ones.
Friends and families.
But it just seemed like I haven't been doing anything to feed my priorities over the past years.
I guess it's the struggle between thinking of oneself and thinking about others.
If I were to be extremely self-centred, I would quit school right now because all this stress that people perceives to be good just seems useless to me.
And saying all this just makes people judge in the sense that "this guy don't know what he wants in life."
Maybe what I want from life is greater than just mere achievements.
Time is ticking every moment.
And all I can do now is stare at how I'm evolving more and more alike this society.
Instead of finding ways to get out of this cycle of what people call "life".
I don't know either sometimes.
Is it just me wanting to be different from everyone?
And will I just end up becoming someone without any achievements which the society perceives as "useless", "loser" or "incapable"?
I think what scares me the most is that I'm actually feeling normal now.
I feel like I'm getting sucked in already.
It shouldn't feel normal to be normal right?
I don't know.