I think it's a tough decision

But I'm going to stop climbing for a week.
Non-climbers be like lameeeeeeeee 1 week only.
Climbers be like "wah why sia?"

But oh well.
Have too many injuries recently.
I'm afraid it's sign of aging.
Slow recovery.
Lol.
Really quite demoralise with my own climbs these few days.
Past 3 sessions was quite shit.
But I tend to blame it on my injury.
Want to get stronger but the injury is hindering.
But if I don't climb I drop very fast.
So if you think 1 week is short, it's actually quite long for me.
Like forget how to climb like that.
Hahaha.
But yup, need to heal my left shoulder, right wrist, right ring finger tendon and my right knee.
Oh and my right hips.

I hope that this 1 week going to be a good recovery week.
Not just recovery on my body.
Also my school work.
Need to recover that shit.
Hahaha.
But to be honest, I really hope this week will recover my body.
It sucks to not be able to climb at your hardest.
It's worst than not catching a tile.
It's like not giving in the 100%.
If I know I give in my 100% and I can't do the move, fine, I admit I'm weak.
But it's like THEREE, and your hand it's like ALMOST THERE.
That feeling.
Argh.

Recovery regime from 31/10/2015 - 7/11/2015.
Let's do this shit.
Fall down and get back up.
Stronger.
Weeeeeeeeeee.

O levels

On the train now with some secondary school kids.
Talking about o levels and going home together and stuff.
Kind of eavesdropping their conversation and it's really quite cute.
Hahaha kids as in guys and girls.
Kind of miss the times back in xinmin.
Everyone seemed less busy and happy with one another.

Good morning

It's 2:31 PM now and I've just woke up.
Feeling awesome because it's been really long since I woke up without alarm.
So yeah, going to Hougang Macs to study right now!
Gonna chiong all my shit all the way until midnight I feel.
Hopefully it'll be productive.
Actually not hopefully, because it must be done by tomorrow.
Hahahaha.
So yeah, woke up feeling refreshing, it's awesome.

Yesterday was a long day.
Went to climb with Yong Sheng, Joshua Tan, Kee Hang and Jeannette.
Then after that headed to Botanic Gardens to chill with the team.
TEAM BONDING.
Hahaha it was quite fun la.
Card games, frisbee, nice food (Pot luck)
Because it was pot luck, got a lot of junk food here and there HAHAHA.
Yeah then Edmond threw frisbee into the pond.
Then everyone trying to get it out.
Use float ah use simi sai.
Go around looking for long poles.
But nope, Janice Chua decided to let her frisbee die in the pond.
Since it was too late already.
So we left.
Ferran sent me thomas moses and ange to bishan.
Then I headed home with Moses.
AND THEN DOTA.
All the way until 1+
Then went to meet Kenny and Vincent for supper.
And yup sleep.

Even tho I wake up so late I still feel damn tired.
LOL.
Alright enough procrastination for the week.
Time to squeeze everything in by today.
Bye guys.

人理所当然的忘记

Just caught 我的少女时代 with Joshua Tan.

Awesome show.

Made me think of my past and I reflected.

Thought of how simple things were back then.

And I thought of how forced my emotions are recently.

It's really not easy to be truly happy.

And it sucks to think that "to be truly happy" gets more difficult as we grow older.

But I guess it's not true.

It's more of perception.

How happy you are depends on how you perceive it.

I guess it's all the expectations we hold on to ourselves that cause happiness to seem further than it really is.

Let's just take an example.

5 years ago, when you were in secondary school, things were much more simpler and everything seemed to be happy.

Days like playing soccer with friends, studying with friends, going out with friends.

All these simple things make us happy.

That's because we choose to make things simple.

Enjoying everything because we don't have that ability to judge people properly yet.

But as we grow older, we're more afraid of being judged.

And because of that, we turn to ourselves.

And we stopped believing people as easily as we used to back in the past.

And I guess that's why old friends always seemed closer to you than new friends.

Because they are the simple friends that you've made back then when you were "less judgemental"

I guess it's really all part of growing up.

And it's like a survival of the fittest.

Everyone wants something out of somebody.

But end up forgetting how to feel truly for this person.

Hmmmmmmmm.

Just some random thoughts when I compared my life back in secondary school and now.

Things are so different right now.

Oh well.

I guess we need to start feeling for people.

And not taking people around you for granted.

I KENNUT

I do sincerely have to conclude that technology is bad.

It's really a bad medium to communicate.

I was waiting for the bus home yesterday at Serangoon and I saw two girls using their phone.

Not saying I want to read their whatsapp chat but yeah, my eyes just happened to roll there.

They were giving all the smiley faces.

But their face was stoned.

Then another one typed "HAHAHAHA".

Then her face was also stoned.

So it brings me to a question.

Doesnt it mean that the improvement in technology for communications had somehow deproved communications itself?

Such irony right.

I have a theory that if we plot a graph of technology against happiness, it would be a bell shaped curve.

Meaning it has an optimum point.

And anymore will cause it to backfire.

To explain myself a little more, it's more of like over-reliance.

Causing us humans to lose all the natural instincts about life.

The true enjoyment behind it.

And the natural process of life.

It somehow hinders it I feel.

Just one of my thoughts.

Should I

Try?
The past had been scary.
The history was clear.
The road is uncertain.

Bad day

Bad climbing day~
Was so psyched to climb but body wasn't ready for it.
Felt so tired and mentally drained after flash pump.
Can't wait for tendons to fully recover and start cranking hard again.
To add on, still got shit to do when i get back home.
Sighhhhh.
And Thursday won't be a climbing day?
Why so negativeeeeeeeeee.
Fuck.
Hope things get better.
Fuck hope.
Let's make things better.

Courage

Courage.
Past.
Current.
Friends.
Friends?
Motivation.
Fear.
Exaggeration.
Guts.
Venus.
Courage.
.
.
.

Omg

Bad choice to take bus to srg and then take circle line.
Maybe should have just waited for the NEL to recover. Hahah
Oh well 8.43 and im still at srg.
Class starts 9am wooo

Just some QUANTITATIVE REASONING

303/1428 climb
539/1428 school
326/1428 work
466/1428 study
29/1428 competition
410/1428 friend
145/1428 sigh
42/1428 yay
234/1428 happy
187/1428 sad
119/1428 lazy
578/1428 feel
283/1428 miss

Out of 1428 posts, these are the words I've used in my blog posts.
It's really quite an interesting comparison when I find out the numbers.
School took the most percentage of my blog posts.
Climbing is generally lower than school stuffs.
But it's still quite a high percentage (21.2%)
Friend takes up a big percentage too (28.7%)
Happy is more than sad.
Lazy is surprisingly less than 10% LOL.
The word feel is used in 40.4% of my blog posts.
Nice, I'm a feeling person.
I think it's of course that feeling is higher than the rest.
I won't blog if I don't feel anything.

Oh well, the interesting part of today's post is over.
Time to hear my rants.
Don't know why you all so interested in reading my rants.
CHEH.
Hahahaha.
Alright.
So I was feeling a little down after climbing today.
Not because of climbing but generally stressing over school work.
I'm really not keeping up with the pace.
The snowball is starting.
Feels like JC all over again.
But well, I was comparing this feeling with when I was in Brunei during OCS.

So let's recall what happened during JCC.
A 9 days course of non-stop trekking with 2 days of food supply.
In the harshest environment that I've ever been.
Rainy days 7 out of 9.
Sleeping in the darkest place with the most weirdest insect you can think of.
Fighting the cold and the wet at night.
And also fighting the cold and the wet in the morning.
Fighting the fatique and all negative thoughts from your mind.
Fighting the worst hunger.
Fighting the thirst.
Fighting the hottest sun in the afternoon.
Loneliness during forager.
Carrying signal set for 9 days straight.
The load crushing on your body.
The uncomfortable feeling wearing your iLBV.
In-grown toe nails.
And through all this misery (which I haven't fully written out),
I made it out alive with a JCC badge and a body that lost more than 5kg.

And I thought about all this just now.
Those were much more worst feelings that I'm feeling now.
Yet I'm complaining.
I remember the night when it rained during Forager.
I cried.
I wanted all this to end.
I wanted to get out of this shit hole.
I wanted to eat.
I missed my family.
I missed all the basic necessities that I took for granted.
I wanted a nice shelter above my head.
I needed warmth.
I wanted to sleep but the rain and cold was keeping me awake.
It was one of the most miserable night I had.
But I remembered the next morning.
It was the most motivating morning I can ever remember.
I sat on my A-frame and stoned for 1 hour.
Recharging all the positive thoughts.
And it all began when I took out a pen and my notebook.
And started writing.
I started planning.
Planning how I was going to ration my food
I could roughly remember.
01 x lor mee
01 x soya milk with barley dessert
02 x mentos
02 x 5 pcs biscuit
01 x fruit bar
01 x quail
01 x potato
01 x maggi pack
That was almost it.
I had all this left for 2 more days and 2 more nights.
I opened up one of the mentos for that day's breakfast and I remember being so motivated all over again.
I've already been through so far (7 days) what's another 2 more days to me?
I knew I could survive.
I knew I was motivated.
I knew that all this is going to end.
And I was going to get proper food in just 2 days time.
All this positivity came and I felt like I was revived.
I was tired, but my mind told me I wasn't.
And that's how I made it out through Cynthia gate on the 9th day.
Knowing that everything is just in the mind.

Today was really not a very good day for me.
I mean climbing was a really good getaway for me.
But when climbing ended, all the stress came rushing back.
And I was so down again.
And now, I'm not going to let the thoughts pull me down.
It's time to take out my pen and notebook and start pushing.
It's not too late.
I know I can definitely do it.
Because I've been through worst.

*inserts bicep emoticon*

#motivated
#owninstudies

Hope you enjoyed this post.
Because I enjoyed it.
Brought back so many thoughts from NS.
Hahahaha.
Byeeeeeeeeee.

Hahaha

Idk whether I've said this before but I love sitting bus rides.
Especially on rainy days.
It just gives me this awesome snap back to reality feels.
Getting back results here and there and it is not as ideal.
Lab reports getting B and more B with a tinge of C lol.
Thai listening quiz getting 10/20.
Everything is quite below average.
Not really putting much effort I must say.
And having the feeling of just aiya fuck this sem.
But it's just an escape from reality that I'm lazy and not focused.
But largely because I don't have a very strong motivation to study.
This transition period from NS/holiday is really taking a long time.
Need to study harder and stop acting like a boy whining all day but not doing anything about it.

Im still thinking about the things I've been thinking of.
Lol doesn't make sense.
But oh well.

TAKE THINGS SLOWWWWW.

NLB

Went to study at macs in the morning.
Wanted to wake up at 8 to study but bam .
Fell asleep str8 after i off the alarm.
Lol.
Ytd pt was dam shag .
So yup went to teach tuition after that and then got my pay.
Yayyyy .
Self sustainable for awhile.
Then went to NLB to study with YY Jon and Leon.
Not really study la more of do tutorial hahaha .
Quite a nice place to study.
Because can't talk means must focus.
The whole library dam quiet.
Yup quite productive actually.
Finished my Thai and lab.
And started abit on my math.
So yup Jon left early while YY left after studying.
Went to eat with Leon and then headed home.
Not going to study anymore when I reach home tho I think I can hahaha.
Okay maybe abit .

Still feeling awesome after mid terms hahaha .
Can't wait to watch everest and attack on titans with anyoneeee .
If you're reading this and also wanna watch jioooo.

Come to think of it.
When I hvnt got into uni that lost period.
Really quite scary to be alone and having too much thoughts.
Sitting at the playground again writing this.
As I think back, that period of time was just me giving myself too much stress.
Hahaha.
As far as I'm alright now, I still miss going overseas.
Well everyone does.
Really quite busy now but I really hope my mind still has space for some reflections here and there.

Time to dota HAHAHA .
okay study bit first.
See y'all .

Raw

It's great to be climbing again.
I've stopped taping my finger.
And it feels alright.
It's really a full day of climbing today.
Hahaha.
Woke up at 8am, wanted to go earlier cause needed to zao earlier for GER1000 paper today.
But end up reaching at around 9.30?
Met YY on the train.
Then met Yu Kai, Josh and Alicia also.
So walked to OS together.
Started climbing straight away.
Cause needed to leave very soon.
So left at around 12.15.
Sat heng tiong's car towards school together with Jing Yang.
Thanks HT!
Yup so after that went to MPSH5 with Jing Yang to check out the campus board in school.
Not baddddddd.
But my fingers were a little raw to pull anything.
Yeah so went to walk around at YIH and met Edwin.
Talk cock abit and while heading towards the exam hall, saw Jon Quek and George.
And yuppppp.
Waste of time paper.
But ITS FINALLY OVER.
Hell week.
Hahahaha.
Yeah so after the paper, was still contemplating whether to go and climb.
Cause like not enough this morning.
So just called Yong Sheng to ask whether he was climbing.
Yay turns out he was climbing.
And he just nice also looking for people to climb.
So yup climbed together.
Until like 7+ then went to do PT.
My fingers are literally dying while typing this.
Oh ya, Aizat was there also.
So long never see him.
He so long never climb also climb from 11am to 7pm.
Hardcore.
Hahaha.
So yup went to eat dinner with the two of them and then headed home with YS.

Just a summary, I'm glad my finger is finally recovering well.
Not restricted by tape anymore.
But still can't pull on pockets.
But it's okay.
I never liked pockets hahaha.
I know all you readers are bored by my life.
Sorry.
But it revolves around climbing.
Hahahaha.
Will update more if there's any.

For now, I'm really relieved that mid terms are finally over.
Time to up one more day of training into the week.
4 times a week and see how it goes.
(Y)

#boringlife
#alittleawkwardturtle

NTU

A trip to ntu ytd to study.
Hahahaha great catching up with cyue and weilun.
Wilfred not so much but there's always another dayyyyy.
So yup.
Not a very productive session.
Lol.
Agar.io should be banned in Singapore.
Lao sai game.

Anyway thanks chin yue for letting me stayover!
Next time I'll come again.
With someone else.
Who ?
Which person?

JOHN CENA!!!
DE DE DE DEEEE~

Lol.
Alright time to go lecture.
Bus damn cold.
Gan.

How much do I want it?

How much do I want it in climbing?
How much do I have to put in to see the effects?
It's no doubt that climbing may be an Olympic sport in 2020.
It's 5 years time.
I know it may sound stupid but I actually wish I could compete as an international climber.
And I really don't know what's up for me in 5 years time.
It's true that I don't want it hard enough as compared to the others who are training harder than me.
If I could commit my life to climbing, I would.
But I have to balance my life.
I guess the difference between me and the professional climbers is how much percentage of their life they put to climbing.

It's quite a low season now.
Cannot train as much as I want.
Due to studies and also my injury.
But the near goal for me I guess is to make it to inter finals by the end of 2016.
And hopefully by the time I graduate from NUS, open finals.
I guess it's always good to have some goals in mind right.
Hahahaha.
It may sound far but I'm going to train hard for whatever my mind tells me to.
If my mind stops pushing me, then we'll see how it goes.
But for now, I know that my mind is pushing me harder and harder.
Allezzzzzzzzzzz to myself.