Days like this

Makes me feel so stressed up.
And it makes me feel so trapped by my parents.
I'm already 19 years old and things like spending my own money I also get scolded.
Yong Sheng is right man.
He was saying I've listened to my parents, study for A level, can go to the course I want in university, after A level earn some money and now I can't even spend my own money and I have to obey every single thing they say which sometimes does not make sense.
What fucking logic is this seriously?
My money I can spend whatever way I want?
AND THEN the other side of my mind will go like, but they're still your parents, I must respect and listen to them.
They brought me up, I cannot be like this, I must listen to them.
AND THEN I'll be like, BUT IT DOESN'T MAKES SENSE TO LISTEN TO THEIR IDEAS THAT HAS NO LOGIC.
AND THEN I'll be like, BUT IF I put myself in their shoes, actually it makes sense.
But seriously, putting myself in their shoes, I feel so traditional.
I really don't know how to put my thoughts into words to them.
They won't understand that I'm 19 and all I'm looking for in life now is joy.
What if next time I'm old already, I got the money but I lose interest in everything.
Money really isn't fucking anything.
JUST SPEND ALL THE FUCKING MONEY YOU HAVE ON USEFUL THINGS.
As if keeping the money in your bank makes you happy.
Go buy things you like, invest on things you like to do.
Like for me, I'll spend it to go out with my friends.
Cause my plans for this holiday is to GO OUT AND CATCH UP WITH MY FRIENDS.
And to climb so I'll spend on season pass, buying new equipments and making myself happy.
Isn't that the first priority in life?

And all these thoughts make me so fed up.
I feel bad if I don't obey my parents.
Whenever my parents ask me to go home, I really don't want to not go home because I don't want them to worry.
But seriously, what's there to worry about.
That's the only thing I don't understand.
And again, Yong Sheng is right.
Communication is key.
I REALLY cannot communicate with my parents.
I don't even dare to ask them things that I think they won't allow.
Like going overseas with my friends, staying overnight at someone's house.
And that is the reason why I don't want to stay over at my friend's or hang out too late outside.
It's just so frustrating.
Cause my mum will fucking shout at me over the fucking phone but cause of peer pressure I have to disobey her and not go home so early cause everyone be like "Oh come on, it's still early don't go home yet."
Then for the rest of the session, I'll be like, oh shit, I think mum cannot sleep cause of me, then I stress.
I have to hurry home, but that will be spoiling my plans of  "CATCHING UP WITH MY FRIENDS".

How?