Doing things

I realised I like to force my way to do things even when my mind is not there.
E.g I totally don't feel like studying now cause my mind is in a mess but I still go ahead.
Don't think that should be the way to do things.
I realised I went for 2 lectures today and did not learn anything.
Okay but at least I wrote every thing down from the board.
Falling way back in my academics.
It's just one last year, why can't I put in a little more effort.
I realised I'm a dreamer too.
I have an ideal way of how things should be run.
I get a little crazy when that happens.
Today is really a super unproductive day.
Basically did nothing except for submitting my forms for NYC.
Alright, at least the planner is keeping me alive.
I'm just thinking how planner makes things more organised.
But this organised way of life makes me ponder.
About the chances of impromptu, creative thoughts about life.
It's kinda dull.
Right, I bought an earpiece and a new book.
The power of Now.
It's funny how appropriate it is.
Hahahaha.

Gotta take things step by step.
Feels like a very tricky situation in my life now.
Any wrong step would be as irreversible as stepping on a land mine.
Slow.
Things will turn out fine.