Walked out of the house

I didn't know how the conversation became anger.
And I didn't know how it just keeps building up.
I just needed some alone time from all that has happened in India.
I ain't ready to listen to you go non stop about you caring about me and as if I don't know that.
I'm sorry I walked out of the house.
And it sucks because I can't use Chinese to explain to you the pain of what I'm feeling about everything.
About not caring about anything, the freedom I felt when I was in India.
The lack of care, the lack of concern.
That's when I truly understand that I need to care for myself more.
The last night in Hampi, I cried because of you.
I cried because I wasn't a good enough son.
I cried because I couldn't communicate with you about the pain I've felt about this world and the people around me.
I cried because there's so much things that has happened since growing up that I needed to deal with myself .
It's not anything that you can help me with.
And I know that your caring is enough.
But sometimes seriously, it's too much and I'm suffocating.
I'm fcking 23 years old.
I have a mind of my own.
Stop trapping me and making me feel like a bad kid as if I don't know about it.
Stop reminding me about how much you care for me because it just reminds me of how little I've done for you in return.
I'm sorry that I'm the anomaly of the family.
And it really really sucks to be that way.
I wish I could show you this post and somehow miraculously you can understand me but no.
And maybe that's why I cried so hard on the last night.
Because I knew that I need to face you again.
And be that unfilial son that never ever thought about your well intentions.
I'm sorry.
That I walked out.
This whole physical action of me leaving the house isn't helping the fact that I'm grown up and I don't want you to worry so much about me.
But then again, I've hurt you too many times.
I don't think I'll ever be able to return you in anyways.
I'm sorry that my head got out of hand at home.