When there's nothing im my thoughts, I wonder to keep it this way or to dig into it. Then I realise I should keep it in because the physical life doesn't have time for me to let my thoughts run wild. But sometimes it explodes. So uncontrollably that it hurts but feels good at the same time. And after that just feels like you don't have the ability to think or the ability to feel pain again. But it's temporal and it is a cycle.
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