Something is missing

Life seems so unreal these few days.
Or rather maybe since school starts.
Have been trying to psyched myself for a good grade semester almost everyday.
But it's starting to get tiring.
Whenever I am on my way home feeling tired mentally, with all the physics equation and concepts filling my mind, I feel as if something is missing.
I looked at a man sitting on the train.
He was formally dressed.
A straight up businessman just from a glimpse.
He was sitting there, with his ear piece on.
His eyes were closed.
He was really drained from that day's work.
His head was slightly tilted upwards.
Bobbing up and down together with the train's shaking.
How different am I from him?
Tired from a long day of thinking or work.
And what's the purpose of all this hard work for.
I still don't see it.
And I guess that's why my psych to do something is always temporary.
But still, there's also another part of me that feels obliged to doing what every one is doing.
My parents.
Whenever I see kids with their parents, I will think of both my parents.
Knowing that they have and are still putting in their fullest for me.
Looking at how some kids throw tantrum or cry in public, it makes me think my parents probably went through some shit to bring me up .
To an age of 22 this year.
This number reminds me that my parents are not young already.
They have pumped in so much time for the three sons.
I shouldn't waste their effort.
But yet at the same time I also feel like I shouldn't be wasting my time.
And that's the struggle I feel everyday when I wake up.
I wonder if it's only me that feel this way.
And the conclusion I make to myself is yes it's only me.
And that probably explains why I always feel like shit because no body understands.
Not even myself.

Life's such.