Mid term pack

Amen

Wew

It's as if we really talked it out.
But reality came ringing.

Cooldown

Cooldown period = Study period.

Hahahaha.

Let's hope this is true.

Anyway enjoyed myself today with Vin, Kenny and Ivan.

Still the same shit after so many years.

Lol.

Time for a change guys.

Happy birthday Ivan!!!

22 fag.

I don't know

But is it just me that feel like that the older we grow,
The more often we tend to take a step back and look at yourself from a third person point of view.
I tend to start judging myself.
Looking at myself and analysing whether I'm a good person or a good friend etc.
Whether what I am doing is beneficial to my community or just pure time wasting bullshit.
Hahahaha.
But it's quite nice when I realised that "Oh, what I'm doing is actually quite bastard."
And then I sort of change for the better.
But anything too much is always bad for oneself.
I mean it sort of makes me more cautious of my own actions.
And that kind of translates to unreal relations with the people around me.

Still learning how to strike that balance.

Struggle

Struggle.

If only we can borrow endorphins from the past.

Every day would seem less demanding.

Tired Monday.

Late night

Thinking of you

Every morning

Eyes closed.
Heads down.
Fingernails chattering.
Dead silence.

A constant in every phase

Question of the night

Can we do this all over again?

You linger in this web.

突然模糊的眼睛

After all this while

I thought I've finally burst the fictitious bubble.

And every time after that same dream, I still find myself living in it.

It's as if all this while I've been looking at reality from the inside of the bubble.

Feels so real but there's just this invisible plane of obstacle.

wew

I think it's been so long since I've talked to people about my problems.
Guess these period of time has just been listening to people's problem but honestly I wanted to speak my problems out.
BUT SINCE IT'S OUT, IT'S A LITTLE BETTER.
I think it's just the sense of guilt?
Idk, and probably heavy confusion.
But nevertheless, thanks Ferran for listening.
Was contemplating whether to say my problems out since I've never told him about anything.
But I guess it wasn't a wrong decision to do so.
Ferran's a good listener.
No wonder so many girl friends.
HAHAHA.
KKKKKK
Dota

It's been so long

That it seems normal that I am not walking properly.
And then I think again, the way I'm walking now is actually pretty fucked up hahahaha.
PLEASE DO YOUR PHYSIO.
Dog.

Anyways,
Recently managed to catch up with my work.
At least things are not snowballing.
And I'm glad that so far, up till week 4, things are still alright.
I am pretty glad that the Wednesday free day thing is kind of working.
It refreshes the week.
Ready for the second half of the week.
So it's pretty chill.
But other than getting a TGIT (Thank god it's Tuesday)
I also get a "Thursday's Blue"
So it's a give and take I must say.
But I'm loving the free day hahaha.

Yeah so other than school work, my priorities in life are somehow drifting away.
It's like me playing dota yesterday night.
And I sucked.
And I was like saying "I think my CAP improving that's why becoming lousier"
HAHAHA.
But on a more serious note, been spending quite more effort in school work than previous semester.
This has made me focus less on myself and the people around me.
I should stop using my leg as an excuse.
Saying it's hard to travel blah blah.

If someone asked you right now, "What's the thing you want to do the most right now?"
What would be your answer?
Why aren't you doing it?
And for me I think the answer is to recover my leg as fast as possible.
But looking at what I'm doing everyday.
I'm hardly spending anytime trying to rehab this leg of mine.
And so from this 3 questions that I just asked myself, I shall put more time into my leg.
Hopefully I can start exercising soon.
And by exercising I guess it's just climbing.
I DO MISS CLIMBING ALOT.
Dang.
Doesn't help watching climbing videos late at night sometimes.

Shall go for lecture.
Hahahha.
Got pretty girl sitting same table as me.
:OOOOOO
Blogging this outside S17 hahaha.
Naise.

Something is missing

Life seems so unreal these few days.
Or rather maybe since school starts.
Have been trying to psyched myself for a good grade semester almost everyday.
But it's starting to get tiring.
Whenever I am on my way home feeling tired mentally, with all the physics equation and concepts filling my mind, I feel as if something is missing.
I looked at a man sitting on the train.
He was formally dressed.
A straight up businessman just from a glimpse.
He was sitting there, with his ear piece on.
His eyes were closed.
He was really drained from that day's work.
His head was slightly tilted upwards.
Bobbing up and down together with the train's shaking.
How different am I from him?
Tired from a long day of thinking or work.
And what's the purpose of all this hard work for.
I still don't see it.
And I guess that's why my psych to do something is always temporary.
But still, there's also another part of me that feels obliged to doing what every one is doing.
My parents.
Whenever I see kids with their parents, I will think of both my parents.
Knowing that they have and are still putting in their fullest for me.
Looking at how some kids throw tantrum or cry in public, it makes me think my parents probably went through some shit to bring me up .
To an age of 22 this year.
This number reminds me that my parents are not young already.
They have pumped in so much time for the three sons.
I shouldn't waste their effort.
But yet at the same time I also feel like I shouldn't be wasting my time.
And that's the struggle I feel everyday when I wake up.
I wonder if it's only me that feel this way.
And the conclusion I make to myself is yes it's only me.
And that probably explains why I always feel like shit because no body understands.
Not even myself.

Life's such.