Hi all.
Just woke up and it's 8.19am right now.
The tramadol I took (some pain killer) causing me to have this headache that feels like hangover.
It's really annoying.
Anyway, the shin isn't getting better steadily everyday.
It just feels less stiff but the pain isn't getting away slowly.
Sometimes the pain was more pain than the day before.
And I always wonder what am I eating wrong or what am I doing wrong.
Since I really have a lot of time, I'm just going to blog about what happened all over again.
So if you all haven't already knew, I broke my tibia and fibula (both the shin bones) while climbing in Qing Dao. So I shall start from Day 0, the day of accident.
ACCIDENT DAY 15/12/15
So it was really the most unexpected thing that could happen. Nobody expected my leg to go beneath and had such an awkward landing. The image of my 45 degrees twisted shin and the sound of the shin bone breaking in low pitch; it will just randomly be projected in my mind . And it really still scares me when I think about it. So yup, straight away after I started shouting in pain, every single person crowded around me. Tossing jackets over my body, covering the wind by standing in
a wall-like circle around me. The pain subsided quite quickly, it felt numb after awhile and I could think normally. And the first few thoughts that came to my mind "Is this a fucking dream? If not, why me? How long am I going to take before I can climb? What's my parents going to think about this? Can I still walk? How much is the operation going to be? How long is the fucking paramedic gong to let me wait?" There was just so much thoughts that you just have to shake it off. And I looked at all the worried faces around me and since I wasn't in such pain, better smile and fight this positively. Don't wanna let them worry about me. So yeah, kind of just lit a cigarette and it felt like one of the best thing then. People around me keep encouraging me and distracting me from my pain. Gwen was playing xiao xin yun, na xie nian and na xie nian de xiao xin yun (mash up) on her phone. It's really quite funny. I have a broken shin but I'm like listening to music and chilling. Really thanks to every single one of them who comforted me.
And yup, the long-awaited paramedics came and they splinted me before putting me up on the stretcher. The splinting was fucking pain. When they tighten the splint, I could feel my bones overlapping and shifting. It was SO PAINFUL. A lot of people asked how pain is it. I think the best I could describe to them was imagine you have a very bad bruise. Like maybe you accidentally kick your shin on something or you fall down and landed on your shin. So you have that bruise on your shin right, imagine the world's strongest climber pinching on your bruise. And the pain will resonate through the whole body. It felt like the pain was distributed with all the nerves in the body because if it didn't I think I would have fainted. So yeah, they put me on a stretcher with my splinted legs and then stretcher-carried me up to the road. I know it wasn't an easy to do because I remember being evacuating one of my man in Brunei with a few other guys. The terrain was so bad as compared to there. Sometimes I would shout on the stretcher while on the way to the road because my ankle is facing vertically upwards. Then they have to slowly put my ankle back to an angle where it won't hurt so much. So yeah I finally reached the ambulance and I thought the pain was finally over. But nope.
So up on the ambulance, when the driver drove, it felt like I could feel every pebble and stones on the road that we were on. The whole journey was bumpy and shaky. And it was a pretty long ride if I don't remember wrongly. I'm starting to feel tired but I couldn't sleep cause the bumps were keeping me awake. And that scene in the ambulance was also stuck in my head. On my right it was Dayna, on my left it was Colin. They kept comforting me when the road bumped or when the driver break too hard. Because all these causes pain. So yeah, just listened to the periodic siren and slowly, it was the end of the ambulance journey. I've reached the hospital.
So at the hospital, they transferred me to a trolley bed where I was pushed into the hospital. It was cold. My feet was cold. Even the hospital inside was cold at certain places. They immediately pushed me to one of the A&E rooms I supposed. A china doctor stared at me and my left leg. Asked for my name and age, asked how I got the injury. Asked me whether I could feel his finger on my toes and whether I could move them. Asked me where the pain was coming from etc etc. So he asked me to go take x-ray first and then colin, josh ko, dayna and ferran accompanied me almost throughout the time in the hospital. So the 4 of them pushed me towards the x-ray place. And on the way, while we were making a turn, there was another trolley with a patient pushing in the opposite direction as them. However, the blanket covered the whole patient, all the way, covering the face too. And I was like damn. It's like I'm already so overwhelmed with emotions and then a dead guy was pushed past me. It hit me so hard. And I was really thinking "I'm actually fortunate that only my leg is broken, I'm alive." Just a surge of emotions there and then. So yeah, went to the x-ray department of the hospital and dude, the x-ray registration wasn't even opened yet. It's 12+ in the noon. ????????????
So waited for awhile and then yeah went to took my x-ray. And Colin have to be the one helping me to lift my left leg while my right leg is on the x-ray table to shift me from the trolley bed to the table. Because the doctor said in Chinese "Your right leg is not injured right? Try moving yourself." Fuck off. Try breaking a shin and I tell you your the other leg could fly. Stupid doctor. So yeahhhhhhhhh managed to take an x-ray of my tibia and fibula and my ankle. So everyone kept using this trick "You want the good news or the bad news first?" GOOD NEWS HIS ANKLE IS PERFECTLY FINE! *Shows the ankle x-ray* BAD NEWS IS *lifts up the tibia x-ray* and everyone who sees the x-ray of my tibia and fibula be like oh fucking shittttttttttttttt. Hahhaha.
After taking the x-ray, I was pushed to the 6th floor where I have to decide whether to do operation here or to go back singapore and do. Doing in China would extend my stay here and that would definitely worry my parents so much. And on a side note, even the China doctor discouraged me to do IM nailing here because of infection risk. Lol. I could still remember Colin looking at me saying "You wanna do the OPs here or back in SG? If you do it here, higher risk. If you do it in SG, less risk. And so what they gonna do is to cast you up and we'll get you a flight back to SG asap. You're 21 already, decision is up to you." I'm 21 already, decision is up to me. Never felt so independent before. It's like I cannot ask my parents to decide for me. It was really a new feeling. So after some considerations, I just decided to cast it here and do operation back in SG. Probably the best decision ever because looking back, I think I might risk amputating my left leg if there was infection with the operation procedure in China. So we told the doctors my decision and so they decided to cast me on the spot. The casting process was said to be "Cowboy style" by one of the nurse in Singapore. Because there was no anesthesia or pain killers. And so the doctor twisted and pull my shin and idk what fuck he do but it was the most painful experience ever. It was the most pain I felt in my entire life so far. IT WAS SO PAINFUL that I shouted so loud. That when I opened my eyes after they finished casting, I see three storeys of chinese eyes staring at me. And I was like "Wow, dem Audience." And I literally looked at them and shouted "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" And they started leaving LOL. It was really damn funny. But yeah, I guess it's one of the manliest story to tell people when I go socializing with new people I guess. HAHAHA. So yeah, after casting me, Rocker and Mun Yuan came too. Rocker sent me back to the hostel in his car. Was smoking before Rocker got his car. Because I deserve one stick after that fight with the pain. It was really a right. I dare not say I win the fight because it still scars me.
So went back to the hostel and then had my last night of my trip stuck in my room. But the nice thing is my room became like a ward. People slowly come and visit me and talk to me. And you see different cliques of people getting together because of this incident. Must have say the team kind of got closer after my incident? Hahaha I feel la. So at that point of time when I was lying down on the bed with the cast on my leg, I could finally rest my mind and recall the whole day. And when I think of the pain and the scene of my twisted shin, I teared. And I realised I've been holding on to my emotions the whole day. And it came rushing back at me the moment I think back. But still, I'm so glad it's going to be over once I go back to the warmth of Singapore (literally). And I slept, awaiting the next day's flight to Singapore.
Woke up feeling very tired because of the painful sleep. It's painful because in the middle of the night, I would randomly kick my injured leg (Dreaming) and I would be like AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ADGADFGASFSDA FUCK. It happens too often for me to have a comfortable sleep lol. But oh well Sun's out and I'm heading back to Singapore myself. The thought of sitting in the plane myself was quite scary too. So yeah my batch mates sent me off together with Rocker and wow I'm on my way back to Singapore! And after I waved good bye to them, I was going to be alone. I felt so vulnerable. I was in a cast, I couldn't move. The air stewardess could just push me somewhere and kidnap me. Lol that thought went through my mind. Everything felt uneasy, I'm alone, in CHINA. But one thing made me relaxed and think that I'm in safe hands. The air stewardess who was pushing me shouted to a crowd in front of me "Rang lu yi xia. Qing jie guo!" Everyone turned and look at me and then all of them shifted. And I could hear the crowd mumbling in Chinese "move in abit move in abit". It's heartening to see that China people aren't all as bad as we think they are. That was actually a very touching moment. And it was time for boarding, and I was waiting right outside the entrance to the plane. Air stewardess pushed me in and I was greeted by a group of Scoots air stewardess who were Singaporeans I guess. FINALLY SINGAPOREANS. They took care of me really well, I sat three economic seats on the way back so I could keep my feet elevated. When I finally settled down on the plane, I felt so emotional again. The fact that I'm travelling back alone, the fact that the trip has to end up like that, the fact that I'm not going to be climbing for a long long time. I recalled all the happy times I had in Qing Dao and I slowly drifted into sleep. Still tired from all that had happened.
And I'm finally in Singapore! And apart from a few knee jerk reflex that woke me up on the plane, all was well. The feeling when the wheels of the plane touched the runway. Just wow. Then I waited patiently for all passengers to alight whom many of them walked past me and just stared at me. I'm like thinking "yes yes, i broke my leg just move on bitches. won't heal just by staring at it". Quite annoying and yes. They pushed me on a wheelchair which cost SGD 270 towards the arrival hall. I'm at Changi Airport, I'm in Singapore! It all felt like a dream when I saw my parents. I looked up at them as I'm sitting on a wheel chair. It felt so wrong because normally I would look down since both my parents were shorter than me. I felt so glad to see my parents and also Moses who was waiting for me at the arrival hall. So together with them we headed to Tan Tock Seng Hospital (TTSH). My dad and Moses carried me up into the car. Haven't physically touch my dad for quite some times; I realised when I put my shoulder around his neck. Could see all their worried faces.
So upon arrival at TTSH, registered and then waited for consultation. Moses brought Si Hui and Trier and wow, it's actually the second time talking to Si Hui. First time was kind of an awkward bus ride with Wen Shu and her hahahaha. My mum commented that Si Hui and Trier looked pretty. So yup managed to wait patiently on a wheel chair and I think we waited for around 3 hours before my name was called. Passed Colin's whatsapp message to the doctor / nurse and she said that my friend is awesome. Hahahaha. In the message was a general idea of what happened and my diagnosis sort of. So it was easy for the nurse / doctor to copy the information down. So yeah, doctor told me I'm going to be warded. And BAM, that was the first time in 21 years that I'm going to stay in a hospital. Never thought this day will come so soon.
But yeah, my brothers came to see me and brought me food. So glad to see my two brothers. That care and concern which never really appeared in the past years cause everyone grew up and care and concern wasn't a thing between brothers haha. But yeah, they asked me how I broke my shin and etc. So there I was lying in the observation room, squeezing with all the patients that just came in. Nurse told my mum I had to wait around 12 hours to get a ward. That would be like freaking 10am next morning? When my eldest brother was there talking to me, he suggested I go pee first so he asked one of the male nurse to allow me to pee. Lol when my brother asked "Does he need to go to the toilet and pee or what?" Then the male nurse just went pointing at my bed saying "Pee here". So he passed me this odd looking bottle and helped me shift my body to the side of the bed so I could pee. Felt SO USELESS. But yeah the pee's colour was never so dark in my life before. Hahaha.
But oh well, my family members left at around 10. And I was left all alone. With strangers who were patients, strangers who were nurses, strangers who were visitors. It was just so crowded, over 20 trolley bed in such a confined space. The nurses have to move the trolley bed around like tetris. Like there was one old man on my left with some issues with the brain and one young 18 yo guy who had some abdominal problem on my right. And in front of me was another uncle in mid 50s who tapped my leg and said I was blocking him from putting down the side bar. I said sorry and he merely gave me a smile and said in Chinese "Very squeezy hor?" And I was like "ya lor". It was around 11+pm, so I tried to sleep and hopefully when I woke up it's time for operation or something. It was really dragging too long, been more than 36 hours since the fracture and I was worried whether it was taking too long for the operation. Just when I was about to fall asleep, someone was tapping me on my shoulder. Woke up and saw Si Hui's face. Hahaha talked to her for awhile and she kept comforting me saying everything's gonna be fine. I don't know why but I think words from a doctor at that point of time seemed more powerful and trustworthy.
So yeahhhh. I got woken up at around 2+am or 3am (yes you're right with some knee jerk reflex in between my sleep so I didn't sleep well) I can't really remember. And they told me there was space upstairs already. So they pushed me up with two nurses. Got out from the observation room with some difficulty because it's just too squeezy. You know the phone game "Unblock me"? Yeah if you know that's generally how squeezy it is but instead of cars / buses, it was the trolley beds lolol. Went to 12th storey and they temporarily placed me on a corridor (what they call a corridor bed lol). So I went up and then slept. Woke up at around 5am I think, my mind was tired. Tired from thinking so much and tired from the 24/7 pain my leg is giving my body. It really felt better to stay awake because if I fell asleep and the knee jerk reflex happened again, I would be screaming in pain. So forced myself awake. Can't wait for the clock to strike 7am because that's the time when doctors start coming in. It was around 6.40+ and suddenly from the corner of my eyes, saw Si Hui walking towards me. Like wowwwww, feels so good to see someone familiar (not saying I know Si Hui for very long). But somehow it felt really good to know someone who is working there. Hahaha, chit-chat a little and the nurses let me know that I'm going to have my IM nailing done today. Ate my medicine at around 7am and that was the last thing I put in my mouth until the OP.
It was around 10+am and one of the nurse asked me whether I wanted to contact anyone before my OP. I was thinking to myself "Finally, OPERATION!" So I told the nurse just inform my mother or call my home number. She told me both numbers didn't work and then I was like "So I guess no one is going to know I'm being pushed in for surgery now?" And indeed, no one was there to talk to me before my surgery. Hahaha I always thought it would be like how it would be in dramas. Like before the OP someone would follow you beside and then leave you when it is the out of bound area. LOL think too much. But yeah, they started IV-dripping me. Randomly injecting liquid through the IV tube. I don't even know. So I was at this waiting area just right outside the operation room. The General Anesthesia (GA) doctor was briefing me on the risk of GA and how I would feel etc etc. Asked whether I had any tooth dropping. Explaining to me that they would have to insert a tube down my throat during GA because I can't breathe after getting the GA. The way he explained it made the whole thing seemed quite scary hahaha. So after briefing me finally they pushed me into the operation room. Stared at all the people around me. I think there was like 5 - 6 people can't really remember. So it started with the mask, the surgeon asked me to breathe normally first. I was starting to feel light headed (little high). Like the dizziness you feel after not smoking for days and then you smoke again. So was quite high la then after that they started injecting more random liquid into my blood stream through the IV tube. Then the doctor asked me to take three deep breaths. I could only recall taking two.....
And bam I woke up from the operation. First question I asked when I woke up was what time it was. It was around 2+pm and I had a 3 hour operation. Like what Khairul said, GA was the best sleep ever. I must agree because the past few sleep kept having knee jerk reflex and it's so stupid. So saw Kenny and Ivan and my Mum. It felt really good to see them again. And yeah, that was the end of my operation and I had a huge dressing on my leg. Tried moving my feet and they felt alright. Didn't really feel any pain, it's more of numbness and it felt really really heavy. Like two times heavier. And I was really worried it's due to the IM rod they placed inside. But it's not actually hahaha.
Hospitalisation
Yeah so it was a Thursday afternoon when my surgery ended. Spend my next 2 1/2 days in the hospital. So yeah generally 2 nights. It felt so miserable when there wasn't anyone around. Okay not really miserable, just very bored. Being in the same ward as 4 other patient. Of which all 4 of them were at least twice my age or maybe even thrice. Didn't really talk to any of them, just observe what they were doing. The one directly opposite me always sitting on a chair using his phone. The one on his left was initially quite a young dude like 30+. But he was going to be discharged soon. Saw his discharge on the 2nd day and came another old man. So yeah, 5 beds, 4 old men and 1 me. I was quite envious of the young dude's discharge. Like when is it going to be my turn. I know it's only a few days but it was really quite tiring to stay in the hospital. It's mentally draining. Then there was this old man who couldn't control his bowels. And he shat all over his bed. Quite sad. And there was this one beside me who kept asking for food because he's hungry. But he cannot eat because he's going for some abdominal x-ray. And he keeps spamming the "call nurse" button. Like really spamming. During one of the lunch time, he saw everyone being served with the hospital food (which tasted like crap), and he was annoyed like why he don't have food. BUT THE NURSE ALREADY EXPLAINED TO HIM. But he just keeps shouting MI SII MI SII. Quite annoying but yeah, in the end I talked to him when I was about to be discharged. Talked to him in the most broken hokkien ever hahaha. He was 76 and had a stroke and fell I think. From what I can understand in hokkien.
Yeah so these hospitalisation period was really a very new experience for me. Felt like nurses was a very brave occupation (like what I told Ange). You have to take care of old people's daily lives. Like changing clothes, bathing, peeing, shitting, eating, drinking, taking medicine. It's really not easy especially if the patients treat you badly. Some nurses are really very nice, some just can't wait to finish work. I guess any kind of job there would be two extreme people.
And yeap so on the day after the operation, a therapist came and she asked me to try walking in crutches. So it was like a test sort of (which I didn't know). If I could walk effortlessly and if I could go up a curb and go down a curb like those in the toilet, she would write something on a paper. I'm glad I did quite well because the very next day after the therapist tested me, my surgeon and doctors came and asked whether I wanted to be discharged. One of the doctor helped to take out my dressing (which was obviously not a doctor's job). Oh ya I forgot to talk about the dressing. The first night after the operation, I was bleeding. The dressing turned red. Almost the size of half my calf was red in colour. It was so bad that my pillow case became red too. But to be honest it wasn't really that pain. Or rather there was no pain which I would expect since there was so much bleeding. And yeah so when the doctor took out the dressing, I was expecting a very bloody leg. Turns out there was just 4 big plasters wtf. TECHNOLOGY. So the nurses came to clean my wound while the doctor stood beside. And he looked at my wound and said "You wanna get discharged?" I immediately replied "Yes please." And bam, he allowed me to be discharged on that saturday and I was so happy. Because I just felt that this place wasn't for me. Like everyone was much older and you just know that you're too young to belong there kind of feeling.
HOME SWEET HOME.
It has been 7 days since I got home. Went to Hougang polyclinic twice to get my plaster changed and my wound cleaned. The swelling has subsided steadily everyday but sometimes the pain don't subside with the swelling. The ankle and knee was the stiffest thing ever. Don't even know whether I'm supposed to start putting weight on my injured leg now. Have been lying in the same position for the past 7 days. Legs elevated to let the blood drain away using gravity. Been trying to get rid of the stiffness in the ankle and knee. Knee wasn't that bad. I could bend almost 100 - 110 degrees already? But it hurts more than the ankle. The ankle I cannot really bend properly, max is 85-90 degrees. Kept stretching constantly hopefully remove the stiffness. But right now everytime I sit for too long, and then I stand up, I could feel all the blood rushing to my left leg. And it would hurt damn badly. Pulsating pain. Swollen pain. As if your leg is going to explode. Like you don't know how swollen a leg can feel until you put your feet down. It's really hard for me to describe haha. But like what the angmoh blog posted, I need to psyched myself to go to the toilet or to go and bathe because the pain is so bad when my feet is vertical (not elevated with two pillows) But it's starting to get better I feel. The pain last less long but it's still as pain whenever I stand up straight. Can't wait to see my physio on Monday. Been really curious on what I should do in this period of time. So curious that I've to ask Daryl, one of my friend who had similar Tibia and Fibula fracture just that he's was open fracture. He said that mine seemed less jia lat which I couldn't agree more hahaha. So yeahhhhhhhh. This is one of the longest post I've ever typed. Since I got nothing to do. Congrats on reading to the end. LOL.
Will have short updates here and there. See you guys!
Imma come back strong nigga.
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