2015

It was definitely a good year.
ORD-ed on the 8 March and then finally feeling civilian life all over again.
It just feels weird not to book in again.
So right after ORD, I came back to climbing again.
And this time it became vigorous.
3/4 times a week?
As compared to army, 3/4 weeks a time?
Hahahaha.
Hobo around for a month.
Started working at Suntec.
Made some friends there.
Really quite a fun place to work.
Promoted to Interman during Pumpfest 2015!!!
Together with Joshua Ko.
Been waiting for that day for so long hahaha.
So yeah.
Went to Phuket and Bali with two different group of friends.
Remembered that I came back from Phuket feeling down.
Because of how our world is.
Of how technology had changed the way we lived.
It took me quite a while before I got out from the post-overseas feel.
Was literally wasting my life away before uni starts.
Drinking at least 2-3 times a week.
Drowning all my problems in alcohol.
End of the day, realised I didn't have any problems.
I'm just scared that uni was starting and I just couldn't face the reality of this world.
And so school started, I've literally drank so much less.
Only here and there drinking sessions with Chin Yue.
And yeah, school started and I was pretty not used to learning things again.
I guess taking physics was really not a bad choice because it was really quite interesting.
Was really quite a loner in school lol.
I only had a few friends studying physics together.
Yan Zhao and Shiuan Jun.
So yeah, practically just the two of them.
Met this guy called Adib at Zouk.
Science Bash.
Was there to support Sean Hui together with Chin Yue, and his 204 friends.
Went to the smoking corner and BAM!
This guy looked too familiar, I think he's from physics.
And yeah, we kind of became smoking buddy in school.
Always having a puff before lecture starts and before papers etc.
So yeah, school was really hard to get used to.
Dayna told me to go and sign up for NUS climb team during the life fest. (issit called life fest?)
It was like the first few weeks of school.
Went for the trials and I swear I did so badly.
Partly cause I was injured.
And partly cause I don't do high wall.
So they top rope belay me to do a 6b or smth.
And I felt so freaking pump.
I can't HIGH WALL.
So the pump followed me to the boulder route where I will be scored.
The whole trial was just so bad.
I really didn't know whether I could get in the team.
And when the email came.
I was like OMGGGGGGGGGGG.
I'm in the school climbing team.
Really so glad.
Then came a message from Dayna.
And she told me how hard she fought for me to get into the team.
I was really glad to hear that.
Someone that I wasn't really that close to then helped me so much.
THANKS DAYNA YOU GAVE ME LIFE IN NUS.
IF YOU ARE READING THIS.
SO YUP!
Cause I didn't go for any camps, I had 0 friend.
Lol.
I mean it didn't really matter to me since friends come and go.
But I do feel alone sometimes.
And I'm really glad I have my own group of friends.
My CLIMBING peng yous.
So yeah, ever since I joined climbing in NUS.
Life in school has became a little better.
Lunch weren't that lonely.
Studying?
I could do that in school with those YIH people.
So yeah, with that I really start getting used to life in Uni.
Balancing between studies, climbing and catching up with my good friends who were mostly in NTU.
So yeah, I guess I'm a frequent visitor to Hall 14/15/16.
Lol.
I swear NUS and NTU are just two different schools.
Culture is just so different.
NTU rabak.
NUS boring.
Hahahha.

So yeah, results for this semester?
B- B- C B B+
So I S/U-ed everything except for the B+.
And I'm left with 4.0.
If not it was a 3.1.
I know it's bad.
Lol.
But it's the first semester.
Time table wasn't build properly and climbing wasn't really balanced into the curriculum.
And I attend tutorials without attempting it.
Stupid.
LOL.
Yeah, so I guess I'm learning from all this mistake and hopefully next semester would be a better one.

AND YUP!
Finally, I went for a year-end trip with my climbing team to Qing Dao.
Really wonderful place.
Never been to such a cold country before.
But yeah, I broke my tibia and fibula there.
Probably the highlight of this year.
Lol.
Scarred.
But so far, 16 days after the incident.
I guess I learnt some things.
Life is really fragile.
Anything can happen to you at the most unexpected places and time.
And how you react to that is the most important of all.
I remembered crying on some of the 16 days.
Not because it was physically pain.
But it's the whole thing.
This whole incident.
It was really that scary.
And I really was surprised at how optimistic I was.
(Cheh, hao lian)
But seriously, I'm shocked by how my mental pushed me through this 16 days so far.
It's not really a good situation to be in.
As much as it's nice to see all your friends showing concern for you, you are the only one who can pull yourself up and start walking again.
That's what I tell myself.
On the 28th december.
Doctor told me I could and I should put weight on my injured leg.
29th december,
therapist taught me some exercise.
30th december,
tried to take away one crutch and walked with one crutch the whole day.
Today, 31st december,
I tried walking without the crutch.
And I did it.
I literally JUST did it.
Like 2 hours before lolol.
So yeah, I'm just afraid that I'm pushing myself too hard.
But there's no pain or anything so I guess I'm fine,
Need to walk properly before school starts.
If not it's really troublesome.

Back to topic,
2015 was really quite an interesting year.
It's the year where there was a phase change in life.
Army - Uni
And to be honest, it's hell of a hard transition for me.
To start socialising all over again.
To learn things about this civilian life.
And till the next year's post,
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!
Thanks to each and everyone of you for being part of my life.
Especially those who I've been talking about in my 31st December posts since 2010?
Hahahaa.
Have a great night partying everyone!!

Day 14

DID MY FIRST 20 PUSH UPS!
AND 20 PULL UPS.

Quality > Quantity (Day 13)

Gonna start working on quality weight bearing.
Meaning to say I'm going to make every step as similar as when I'm walking normally.
Landing with the heels first and rolling out to the toe.
Hopefully this will get me walking normally faster!!
:)
I have a feeling that Day 30+ I'll be able to walk without crutches.
We'll see!

13 days after IM nailing

Went for my first appointment ytd .
Doctor really didn't say much.
Just say i should put weight on my injured leg.
And that really changed the way i used my crutches.
So yesterday was the start of putting weight on my injured leg.
It doesn't really hurt much.
Unless i really put alot of weight then i feel a little pain at the shin bone.
Swelling has subsided real good but it seemed to come back ytd after ive not been elevating my leg either due to sitting down for too long or standing up and trying to move around.
But all is fine because i realised my leg is regaining full range of motion soon.
Bending of the knee could reach as much as one fist distance away from my ass.
Straightening of the knee, sometimes 15 degree sometimes 0.
Depends on swelling.
But i hvnt really manage to flex my muscles on my left leg yet.
It's like retarded muscles lol.
But yeah im actually able to walk with one crutch now with acceptable difficulty.
Hahahaha.
Just updating to see my progress.

Maybe Day 38-
"Started climbing, feel stronger than before. Glad i fractured my Tibia and also my fibula! Weird but it works! Try it!"

Hahahaha

Took my first escalator today.
By hopping in and out.
Scary shit

Lost track of time

Or did I just redefine it?

4.27am

Just woke up from the pain of my fibula shifting.
So tired

Growth

Read the book "Timekeeper" recently.

And watched the movie "About Time"

There's just so much things I've learnt about life and time.

Why would you want to turn back time if you don't even cherish it on this very day?

My trip to TTSH - IM Nailing Operation review

Hi all.
Just woke up and it's 8.19am right now.
The tramadol I took (some pain killer) causing me to have this headache that feels like hangover.
It's really annoying.

Anyway, the shin isn't getting better steadily everyday.
It just feels less stiff but the pain isn't getting away slowly.
Sometimes the pain was more pain than the day before.
And I always wonder what am I eating wrong or what am I doing wrong.

Since I really have a lot of time, I'm just going to blog about what happened all over again.

So if you all haven't already knew, I broke my tibia and fibula (both the shin bones) while climbing in Qing Dao. So I shall start from Day 0, the day of accident.

ACCIDENT DAY 15/12/15

So it was really the most unexpected thing that could happen. Nobody expected my leg to go beneath and had such an awkward landing. The image of my 45 degrees twisted shin and the sound of the shin bone breaking in low pitch; it will just randomly be projected in my mind . And it really still scares me when I think about it. So yup, straight away after I started shouting in pain, every single person crowded around me. Tossing jackets over my body, covering the wind by standing in
a wall-like circle around me. The pain subsided quite quickly, it felt numb after awhile and I could think normally. And the first few thoughts that came to my mind "Is this a fucking dream? If not, why me? How long am I going to take before I can climb? What's my parents going to think about this? Can I still walk? How much is the operation going to be? How long is the fucking paramedic gong to let me wait?" There was just so much thoughts that you just have to shake it off. And I looked at all the worried faces around me and since I wasn't in such pain, better smile and fight this positively. Don't wanna let them worry about me. So yeah, kind of just lit a cigarette and it felt like one of the best thing then. People around me keep encouraging me and distracting me from my pain. Gwen was playing xiao xin yun, na xie nian and na xie nian de xiao xin yun (mash up) on her phone. It's really quite funny. I have a broken shin but I'm like listening to music and chilling. Really thanks to every single one of them who comforted me.

And yup, the long-awaited paramedics came and they splinted me before putting me up on the stretcher. The splinting was fucking pain. When they tighten the splint, I could feel my bones overlapping and shifting. It was SO PAINFUL. A lot of people asked how pain is it. I think the best I could describe to them was imagine you have a very bad bruise. Like maybe you accidentally kick your shin on something or you fall down and landed on your shin. So you have that bruise on your shin right, imagine the world's strongest climber pinching on your bruise. And the pain will resonate through the whole body. It felt like the pain was distributed with all the nerves in the body because if it didn't I think I would have fainted. So yeah, they put me on a stretcher with my splinted legs and then stretcher-carried me up to the road. I know it wasn't an easy to do because I remember being evacuating one of my man in Brunei with a few other guys. The terrain was so bad as compared to there. Sometimes I would shout on the stretcher while on the way to the road because my ankle is facing vertically upwards. Then they have to slowly put my ankle back to an angle where it won't hurt so much. So yeah I finally reached the ambulance and I thought the pain was finally over. But nope.

So up on the ambulance, when the driver drove, it felt like I could feel every pebble and stones on the road that we were on. The whole journey was bumpy and shaky. And it was a pretty long ride if I don't remember wrongly. I'm starting to feel tired but I couldn't sleep cause the bumps were keeping me awake. And that scene in the ambulance was also stuck in my head. On my right it was Dayna, on my left it was Colin. They kept comforting me when the road bumped or when the driver break too hard. Because all these causes pain. So yeah, just listened to the periodic siren and slowly, it was the end of the ambulance journey. I've reached the hospital.

So at the hospital, they transferred me to a trolley bed where I was pushed into the hospital. It was cold. My feet was cold. Even the hospital inside was cold at certain places. They immediately pushed me to one of the A&E rooms I supposed. A china doctor stared at me and my left leg. Asked for my name and age, asked how I got the injury. Asked me whether I could feel his finger on my toes and whether I could move them. Asked me where the pain was coming from etc etc. So he asked me to go take x-ray first and then colin, josh ko, dayna and ferran accompanied me almost throughout the time in the hospital. So the 4 of them pushed me towards the x-ray place. And on the way, while we were making a turn, there was another trolley with a patient pushing in the opposite direction as them. However, the blanket covered the whole patient, all the way, covering the face too. And I was like damn. It's like I'm already so overwhelmed with emotions and then a dead guy was pushed past me. It hit me so hard. And I was really thinking "I'm actually fortunate that only my leg is broken, I'm alive." Just a surge of emotions there and then. So yeah, went to the x-ray department of the hospital and dude, the x-ray registration wasn't even opened yet. It's 12+ in the noon. ????????????
So waited for awhile and then yeah went to took my x-ray. And Colin have to be the one helping me to lift my left leg while my right leg is on the x-ray table to shift me from the trolley bed to the table. Because the doctor said in Chinese "Your right leg is not injured right? Try moving yourself." Fuck off. Try breaking a shin and I tell you your the other leg could fly. Stupid doctor. So yeahhhhhhhhh managed to take an x-ray of my tibia and fibula and my ankle. So everyone kept using this trick "You want the good news or the bad news first?" GOOD NEWS HIS ANKLE IS PERFECTLY FINE! *Shows the ankle x-ray* BAD NEWS IS *lifts up the tibia x-ray* and everyone who sees the x-ray of my tibia and fibula be like oh fucking shittttttttttttttt. Hahhaha.

After taking the x-ray, I was pushed to the 6th floor where I have to decide whether to do operation here or to go back singapore and do. Doing in China would extend my stay here and that would definitely worry my parents so much. And on a side note, even the China doctor discouraged me to do IM nailing here because of infection risk. Lol. I could still remember Colin looking at me saying "You wanna do the OPs here or back in SG? If you do it here, higher risk. If you do it in SG, less risk. And so what they gonna do is to cast you up and we'll get you a flight back to SG asap. You're 21 already, decision is up to you." I'm 21 already, decision is up to me. Never felt so independent before. It's like I cannot ask my parents to decide for me. It was really a new feeling. So after some considerations, I just decided to cast it here and do operation back in SG. Probably the best decision ever because looking back, I think I might risk amputating my left leg if there was infection with the operation procedure in China. So we told the doctors my decision and so they decided to cast me on the spot. The casting process was said to be "Cowboy style" by one of the nurse in Singapore. Because there was no anesthesia or pain killers. And so the doctor twisted and pull my shin and idk what fuck he do but it was the most painful experience ever. It was the most pain I felt in my entire life so far. IT WAS SO PAINFUL that I shouted so loud. That when I opened my eyes after they finished casting, I see three storeys of chinese eyes staring at me. And I was like "Wow, dem Audience." And I literally looked at them and shouted "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" And they started leaving LOL. It was really damn funny. But yeah, I guess it's one of the manliest story to tell people when I go socializing with new people I guess. HAHAHA. So yeah, after casting me, Rocker and Mun Yuan came too. Rocker sent me back to the hostel in his car. Was smoking before Rocker got his car. Because I deserve one stick after that fight with the pain. It was really a right. I dare not say I win the fight because it still scars me.

So went back to the hostel and then had my last night of my trip stuck in my room. But the nice thing is my room became like a ward. People slowly come and visit me and talk to me. And you see different cliques of people getting together because of this incident. Must have say the team kind of got closer after my incident? Hahaha I feel la. So at that point of time when I was lying down on the bed with the cast on my leg, I could finally rest my mind and recall the whole day. And when I think of the pain and the scene of my twisted shin, I teared. And I realised I've been holding on to my emotions the whole day. And it came rushing back at me the moment I think back. But still, I'm so glad it's going to be over once I go back to the warmth of Singapore (literally). And I slept, awaiting the next day's flight to Singapore.

Woke up feeling very tired because of the painful sleep. It's painful because in the middle of the night, I would randomly kick my injured leg (Dreaming) and I would be like AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ADGADFGASFSDA FUCK. It happens too often for me to have a comfortable sleep lol. But oh well Sun's out and I'm heading back to Singapore myself. The thought of sitting in the plane myself was quite scary too. So yeah my batch mates sent me off together with Rocker and wow I'm on my way back to Singapore! And after I waved good bye to them, I was going to be alone. I felt so vulnerable. I was in a cast, I couldn't move. The air stewardess could just push me somewhere and kidnap me. Lol that thought went through my mind. Everything felt uneasy, I'm alone, in CHINA. But one thing made me relaxed and think that I'm in safe hands. The air stewardess who was pushing me shouted to a crowd in front of me "Rang lu yi xia. Qing jie guo!" Everyone turned and look at me and then all of them shifted. And I could hear the crowd mumbling in Chinese "move in abit move in abit". It's heartening to see that China people aren't all as bad as we think they are. That was actually a very touching moment. And it was time for boarding, and I was waiting right outside the entrance to the plane. Air stewardess pushed me in and I was greeted by a group of Scoots air stewardess who were Singaporeans I guess. FINALLY SINGAPOREANS. They took care of me really well, I sat three economic seats on the way back so I could keep my feet elevated. When I finally settled down on the plane, I felt so emotional again. The fact that I'm travelling back alone, the fact that the trip has to end up like that, the fact that I'm not going to be climbing for a long long time. I recalled all the happy times I had in Qing Dao and I slowly drifted into sleep. Still tired from all that had happened.

And I'm finally in Singapore! And apart from a few knee jerk reflex that woke me up on the plane, all was well. The feeling when the wheels of the plane touched the runway. Just wow. Then I waited patiently for all passengers to alight whom many of them walked past me and just stared at me. I'm like thinking "yes yes, i broke my leg just move on bitches. won't heal just by staring at it". Quite annoying and yes. They pushed me on a wheelchair which cost SGD 270 towards the arrival hall. I'm at Changi Airport, I'm in Singapore! It all felt like a dream when I saw my parents. I looked up at them as I'm sitting on a wheel chair. It felt so wrong because normally I would look down since both my parents were shorter than me. I felt so glad to see my parents and also Moses who was waiting for me at the arrival hall. So together with them we headed to Tan Tock Seng Hospital (TTSH). My dad and Moses carried me up into the car. Haven't physically touch my dad for quite some times; I realised when I put my shoulder around his neck. Could see all their worried faces.

So upon arrival at TTSH, registered and then waited for consultation. Moses brought Si Hui and Trier and wow, it's actually the second time talking to Si Hui. First time was kind of an awkward bus ride with Wen Shu and her hahahaha. My mum commented that Si Hui and Trier looked pretty. So yup managed to wait patiently on a wheel chair and I think we waited for around 3 hours before my name was called. Passed Colin's whatsapp message to the doctor / nurse and she said that my friend is awesome. Hahahaha. In the message was a general idea of what happened and my diagnosis sort of. So it was easy for the nurse / doctor to copy the information down. So yeah, doctor told me I'm going to be warded. And BAM, that was the first time in 21 years that I'm going to stay in a hospital. Never thought this day will come so soon.

But yeah, my brothers came to see me and brought me food. So glad to see my two brothers. That care and concern which never really appeared in the past years cause everyone grew up and care and concern wasn't a thing between brothers haha. But yeah, they asked me how I broke my shin and etc. So there I was lying in the observation room, squeezing with all the patients that just came in. Nurse told my mum I had to wait around 12 hours to get a ward. That would be like freaking 10am next morning? When my eldest brother was there talking to me, he suggested I go pee first so he asked one of the male nurse to allow me to pee. Lol when my brother asked "Does he need to go to the toilet and pee or what?" Then the male nurse just went pointing at my bed saying "Pee here". So he passed me this odd looking bottle and helped me shift my body to the side of the bed so I could pee. Felt SO USELESS. But yeah the pee's colour was never so dark in my life before. Hahaha.

But oh well, my family members left at around 10. And I was left all alone. With strangers who were patients, strangers who were nurses, strangers who were visitors. It was just so crowded, over 20 trolley bed in such a confined space. The nurses have to move the trolley bed around like tetris. Like there was one old man on my left with some issues with the brain and one young 18 yo guy who had some abdominal problem on my right. And in front of me was another uncle in mid 50s who tapped my leg and said I was blocking him from putting down the side bar. I said sorry and he merely gave me a smile and said in Chinese "Very squeezy hor?" And I was like "ya lor". It was around 11+pm, so I tried to sleep and hopefully when I woke up it's time for operation or something. It was really dragging too long, been more than 36 hours since the fracture and I was worried whether it was taking too long for the operation. Just when I was about to fall asleep, someone was tapping me on my shoulder. Woke up and saw Si Hui's face. Hahaha talked to her for awhile and she kept comforting me saying everything's gonna be fine. I don't know why but I think words from a doctor at that point of time seemed more powerful and trustworthy.

So yeahhhh. I got woken up at around 2+am or 3am (yes you're right with some knee jerk reflex in between my sleep so I didn't sleep well) I can't really remember. And they told me there was space upstairs already. So they pushed me up with two nurses. Got out from the observation room with some difficulty because it's just too squeezy. You know the phone game "Unblock me"? Yeah if you know that's generally how squeezy it is but instead of cars / buses, it was the trolley beds lolol. Went to 12th storey and they temporarily placed me on a corridor (what they call a corridor bed lol). So I went up and then slept. Woke up at around 5am I think, my mind was tired. Tired from thinking so much and tired from the 24/7 pain my leg is giving my body. It really felt better to stay awake because if I fell asleep and the knee jerk reflex happened again, I would be screaming in pain. So forced myself awake. Can't wait for the clock to strike 7am because that's the time when doctors start coming in. It was around 6.40+ and suddenly from the corner of my eyes, saw Si Hui walking towards me. Like wowwwww, feels so good to see someone familiar (not saying I know Si Hui for very long). But somehow it felt really good to know someone who is working there. Hahaha, chit-chat a little and the nurses let me know that I'm going to have my IM nailing done today. Ate my medicine at around 7am and that was the last thing I put in my mouth until the OP.

It was around 10+am and one of the nurse asked me whether I wanted to contact anyone before my OP. I was thinking to myself "Finally, OPERATION!" So I told the nurse just inform my mother or call my home number. She told me both numbers didn't work and then I was like "So I guess no one is going to know I'm being pushed in for surgery now?" And indeed, no one was there to talk to me before my surgery. Hahaha I always thought it would be like how it would be in dramas. Like before the OP someone would follow you beside and then leave you when it is the out of bound area. LOL think too much. But yeah, they started IV-dripping me. Randomly injecting liquid through the IV tube. I don't even know. So I was at this waiting area just right outside the operation room. The General Anesthesia (GA) doctor was briefing me on the risk of GA and how I would feel etc etc. Asked whether I had any tooth dropping. Explaining to me that they would have to insert a tube down my throat during GA because I can't breathe after getting the GA. The way he explained it made the whole thing seemed quite scary hahaha. So after briefing me finally they pushed me into the operation room. Stared at all the people around me. I think there was like 5 - 6 people can't really remember. So it started with the mask, the surgeon asked me to breathe normally first. I was starting to feel light headed (little high). Like the dizziness you feel after not smoking for days and then you smoke again. So was quite high la then after that they started injecting more random liquid into my blood stream through the IV tube. Then the doctor asked me to take three deep breaths. I could only recall taking two.....

And bam I woke up from the operation. First question I asked when I woke up was what time it was. It was around 2+pm and I had a 3 hour operation. Like what Khairul said, GA was the best sleep ever. I must agree because the past few sleep kept having knee jerk reflex and it's so stupid. So saw Kenny and Ivan and my Mum. It felt really good to see them again. And yeah, that was the end of my operation and I had a huge dressing on my leg. Tried moving my feet and they felt alright. Didn't really feel any pain, it's more of numbness and it felt really really heavy. Like two times heavier. And I was really worried it's due to the IM rod they placed inside. But it's not actually hahaha.

Hospitalisation
Yeah so it was a Thursday afternoon when my surgery ended. Spend my next 2 1/2 days in the hospital. So yeah generally 2 nights. It felt so miserable when there wasn't anyone around. Okay not really miserable, just very bored. Being in the same ward as 4 other patient. Of which all 4 of them were at least twice my age or maybe even thrice. Didn't really talk to any of them, just observe what they were doing. The one directly opposite me always sitting on a chair using his phone. The one on his left was initially quite a young dude like 30+. But he was going to be discharged soon. Saw his discharge on the 2nd day and came another old man. So yeah, 5 beds, 4 old men and 1 me. I was quite envious of the young dude's discharge. Like when is it going to be my turn. I know it's only a few days but it was really quite tiring to stay in the hospital. It's mentally draining. Then there was this old man who couldn't control his bowels. And he shat all over his bed. Quite sad. And there was this one beside me who kept asking for food because he's hungry. But he cannot eat because he's going for some abdominal x-ray. And he keeps spamming the "call nurse" button. Like really spamming. During one of the lunch time, he saw everyone being served with the hospital food (which tasted like crap), and he was annoyed like why he don't have food. BUT THE NURSE ALREADY EXPLAINED TO HIM. But he just keeps shouting MI SII MI SII. Quite annoying but yeah, in the end I talked to him when I was about to be discharged. Talked to him in the most broken hokkien ever hahaha. He was 76 and had a stroke and fell I think. From what I can understand in hokkien.
Yeah so these hospitalisation period was really a very new experience for me. Felt like nurses was a very brave occupation (like what I told Ange). You have to take care of old people's daily lives. Like changing clothes, bathing, peeing, shitting, eating, drinking, taking medicine. It's really not easy especially if the patients treat you badly. Some nurses are really very nice, some just can't wait to finish work. I guess any kind of job there would be two extreme people.

And yeap so on the day after the operation, a therapist came and she asked me to try walking in crutches. So it was like a test sort of (which I didn't know). If I could walk effortlessly and if I could go up a curb and go down a curb like those in the toilet, she would write something on a paper. I'm glad I did quite well because the very next day after the therapist tested me, my surgeon and doctors came and asked whether I wanted to be discharged. One of the doctor helped to take out my dressing (which was obviously not a doctor's job). Oh ya I forgot to talk about the dressing. The first night after the operation, I was bleeding. The dressing turned red. Almost the size of half my calf was red in colour. It was so bad that my pillow case became red too. But to be honest it wasn't really that pain. Or rather there was no pain which I would expect since there was so much bleeding. And yeah so when the doctor took out the dressing, I was expecting a very bloody leg. Turns out there was just 4 big plasters wtf. TECHNOLOGY. So the nurses came to clean my wound while the doctor stood beside. And he looked at my wound and said "You wanna get discharged?" I immediately replied "Yes please." And bam, he allowed me to be discharged on that saturday and I was so happy. Because I just felt that this place wasn't for me. Like everyone was much older and you just know that you're too young to belong there kind of feeling.

HOME SWEET HOME.
It has been 7 days since I got home. Went to Hougang polyclinic twice to get my plaster changed and my wound cleaned. The swelling has subsided steadily everyday but sometimes the pain don't subside with the swelling. The ankle and knee was the stiffest thing ever. Don't even know whether I'm supposed to start putting weight on my injured leg now. Have been lying in the same position for the past 7 days. Legs elevated to let the blood drain away using gravity. Been trying to get rid of the stiffness in the ankle and knee. Knee wasn't that bad. I could bend almost 100 - 110 degrees already? But it hurts more than the ankle. The ankle I cannot really bend properly, max is 85-90 degrees. Kept stretching constantly hopefully remove the stiffness. But right now everytime I sit for too long, and then I stand up, I could feel all the blood rushing to my left leg. And it would hurt damn badly. Pulsating pain. Swollen pain. As if your leg is going to explode. Like you don't know how swollen a leg can feel until you put your feet down. It's really hard for me to describe haha. But like what the angmoh blog posted, I need to psyched myself to go to the toilet or to go and bathe because the pain is so bad when my feet is vertical (not elevated with two pillows) But it's starting to get better I feel. The pain last less long but it's still as pain whenever I stand up straight. Can't wait to see my physio on Monday. Been really curious on what I should do in this period of time. So curious that I've to ask Daryl, one of my friend who had similar Tibia and Fibula fracture just that he's was open fracture. He said that mine seemed less jia lat which I couldn't agree more hahaha. So yeahhhhhhhh. This is one of the longest post I've ever typed. Since I got nothing to do. Congrats on reading to the end. LOL.

Will have short updates here and there. See you guys!

Imma come back strong nigga.

Limit

As much as you're able to take this pain and immobility.
It sometimes hit you hard.
So hard that it might make you fall.
And you only have yourself to pick it all up.
And that's when the limit changes.

It fucking hurts.
Im sleeping early tonight.
Merry xmas.

If you have nothing to do

and wondering how my life is since the fracture, take a read at this guy's wordpress.
80-90% of the things I can relate.

https://jakemcmillan.wordpress.com/2010/03/05/me-and-my-intramedullary-nail/

I might make a post myself too soon :)

Pain

It hurts less if I allow my mind to think so.
Literally.
It's amazing lol.
It's been 9 days since fracture.
Pain is not subsiding.
It's actually increasing.
I've no idea.
But swelling is less.
And hopefully the pain can slowly go away too.
GUARDSMANNNNNNNN
Fuck, been through tougher shit right.
Hahaha.

Found myself in tears

I know im weak.
But it was really traumatising when i think back.
That sound.
That scene.
That pain.

It's scary

To see how fast life can change.

Memories of 2015

I mean it's really quite obvious as to why it's a memory hahaha .
Well couldn't blog from qingdao side about anything about my life there.
But I must say I really love the weather there.
The people there..... Hmmm.....
Hahahaha .
But yeah really awesome 5 days for me (supposed to be 10 days)
Let's just really summarized the trip and not just talk about the sad part.

Natural climbing was really so amazing! It brings the feel of being so primal. Like we are the first people to start climbing. The art of climbing just unveiled itself as the day goes by. Skin gets more and more raw as the day goes by but it also gets harder and harder. Rock feels like ice. Everything was ice cold. It feels like putting your hand in the freezer and try to crimp some shit haha. Well the hardest route I've sent was a v5. It was quite easy actually HAHAHA . Or rather on form that day. Love big tiles big pinches.
So yeah it was really shortly after this v5 route that i tried before going to try that v6 route which caused me to be in this state now.

But again I shall talk about my injury later.

So yeah we had a couple of resting in between our climbs. Most of the time sun sets around 5+ so it becomes really really dark at like 6pm. So dinner was always early haha. Went to random cafes throughout the trip and I was thinking I might actually start to drink coffee because of that. But too bad I came back earlier. LOL.
Had really great bonding sessions with my batch mates. All of us were together throughout the trip. Except for mac who's always with the strong people. Hahahaha . Just kidding. But yeah really enjoyed myself. Okay the doctor just pulled out my dressing. Wew so much blood. So yeah really enjoyed myself throughout the trip. Both climbing time and non climbing time

It really sucks to know that I've got to come back earlier, can't enjoy my full holiday, can't climb for some time and a lot more other sad consequences ah. Okay i go charge my phone before i continue blogging.

Yup im back.
But yeah like what dayna told me about how much you'll learn about yourself and the people around me.
It really was interesting.
Everyone was really that caring.
And you could also see in some people's face that some are more worried than others.
Hahaha
But yeah now exploring parts of myself that I've never reached before.

So yupppp gonna talk about my injury itself.
So had a really awkward landing while climbing.
Feet never step on mat.
And prakkkk.
That was the sound of my tibia breaking lol.
At that moment of shock, i just kept shouting and screaming.
The scene of the flabby shin is still stuck in my head.
The shock was more overwhelming than the pain.
So just kept shouting.
It felt really natural hahaha .
So yeah after much shouting, managed to calm down. So waited for paramedics to come.
They came around 30 mins later and manage to bring me to the hospital ( with a lot of pain on the way)
Yeah so this comes the fked up part.
They had to cast my leg.
So my shin was not aligned and hrs had to align me.
So the doctor stared at me and started saying yi er san. Then he just twist and pull my legs as if i wasn't supposed to feel any pains.
I shouted so loud that the whole hospital watched the doctors cast me. (this whole thing happened near a lift lobby)
Lolol.
So yeah after they casted me.
I chose to go back to the hostel.
At least i could see my friends hahaha .
So yup from there i took the next morning flight back to sg myself.
Then operate the next day without anyone being informed.
It was really quite an emotional 48 hours for me ah.
Like really thoughts about anything can come in anytime.
But it was fine.
My introverted self took it like a man.
LOL.
So yeah, gonna get discharged today.
Finally get to go home and chill.
Can't wait to start walking on crutches again.
It was quite fun hahaha .
At least i could move.
Oh ya there's like some self injected morphine for myself.
So if i feel pain i press this button and morphine will be injected to me haha.
Quite cool.
Quite nice also.
Lolol.
Likka drug addict.
But yeah, gonna get home soon!
Maybe have a better update.
See you guys!

Thanks all for the concern.
Be it being there for me physically or just dropping me a text, im happy to know people actually care haha.
Yup!!!
Gonna rest abit and wait for discharge. See ya guys

Qing Dao

Alright guyzzzz.
It's time to leave Singapore for Qing Dao.
Quite tired because of work this morning hahahaha .
Had a great catch up with jonlimbk.
Talking about shit during work.

AND YUP!
QING DAO IS FINALLY HERE.
After much awaiting.
All the bull shit studying for finals.
Gonna enjoy myself there!
Hopefully I don't die of cold.
And nah , don't think I'm gonna climb as hard cause of my shoulder.
But definitely climb happy!
Like what han and wenshu say hahaha.

Alrightttt hopefully I can blog everyday with a photo.
Let's hope I don't get lazy!
Yupppp so see you all in 10 days!
Enjoy the warmth of the equator.
Bye!!

Acupuncture

Hello guys.
Yesterday went shopping for qing dao stuffs with my mum.
Hahaha had monster curry for lunch.
Bought a jacket and a fleece pants.
Then afterwards went to tampines and LEPAK.
How long never lepak already.
Yeah so went there and walked around.
Went arcade.
LOL damn long never jubeat with weilun.
Yup so anyway met Andy at TM and then had dinner with him at kopitiam.
Only ate a bowl of chendol cause I was quite full from the monster curry.
Yeahhhh so headed to TCM at around 8pm and went to find Huang Yi Shi.
Well that's just andy's sister haha.
So I was her last patient and I told her about my shoulder.
And then she asked "you wanna do acupuncture?"
And I said yeah sure.
But in my mind I was a little fucking scared.
HAHAHAHA .
So yeah, it was my first experience with TCM and it was actually very interesting.
Minus the fact that it felt dam weird with 9 needles in your shoulder.
And the electric pulse that simulate the moving of the needle.
With some infrared heating on my shoulder.
And I asked, "Actually how does acupuncture works?"
She tried explaining but in the end she just, "Actually I'm also not very sure. But it works la!"
LOLOL .
So yup, I guess this acupuncture experience was worth blogging so yup.
Here's a post.
Yeahhhh gonna climb now!
Happy birthday Andy and Jon (cena)!!!

QDQDQD

Undying Platoon

Hahaha tho I'm not in the photo but I think this one of the nicest photo of our platoon.

To my dearest platoon 3, the undying platoon,

it was really heartening to see all of you stand on Victory Square just now.
Brought back so much memories of the times we had back in service.
Really very glad to see each and everyone of you in your number 1.
Standing proud in front of your loved ones.
Thinking back, it was really a very very tough journey for all of you.
All of you were the reasons why I wanted to sign on back then (still thinking).
Having each and everyone of you in my platoon was the happiest thing I can ask for as a PC.
As much as there were so many problems I faced as a young NSF officer, I swear I've learnt so much things from all of you.
I really enjoyed my journey as I thought back.

It's finally you guys' turn to ORD.
And you'll be collecting your lost MIA Pink IC in just a week's time.
Some longer, some already taken.
Hopefully you all remember all the memories and bonds forged through this 2 years.
All the things I've said or I've nagged about each and everyone of you weren't just for NS.
It applies to the things you do in the future as civilians.
Keep in contact with each other.
These people are those that seen you in your shittiest moments in life.
They are one of the "realest" friends you would ever make.
And now after you ORD, don't you think that all these sufferings are worth it in the end?
All the tough times covered in mud and camo, definitely worth it when you see your parents and loved ones staring at you with their proud face.
My son has done well.
My son is a guardsman.
My son is now a man.

Love it or hate it, your NS days are finally over.
All these are just going to be memories as time goes on.
You'll be telling these stories to your kids next time and your kids will be proud to tell their friends that his/her father is a guardsman.
Hahahaha.

My final words to all of you:
Everyone of you is going different ways. You might meet up or you might not. This is the reality of life. Everyone has their own life to lead. Be it being a businessman, a policeman, a cleaner or whatever shit you are doing in the future, always remember that you were once a guardsman. To be honest, I felt very disgusted by the fact that I was studying. I felt so stress at times in Uni. And going back to camp that day for the briefing makes me feel alive. Talking to you all made me cleared my mind off the shit that I'm doing. I remembered I was very stress one day and I was ranting on my blog. And SGT Joshua came and comment on my blog post. This was what he wrote:

Sir, it is definitely much harder to find true friendships or have honest/straightforward working relationships with others in uni because the army is just too different from uni and we suffer together so much more in guards than in uni. but you have to believe that you are studying hard for a brighter future; this 4 years is as tough as or even tougher than GCC, but once you pass out you'll be really proud of yourself and it'll be worth every suffering you have to go through, whether it's shitty group mates or getting turned out in the middle of the night. I know we can go through this 4 years just like how we survived guards. We rule the modules, and we rule the projects. Always ready.

I was sincerely very shocked when I read it. And I couldn't agree more. Life is just like GCC. The sufferings never ends, just like GCC. When you are feeling low or down in the future, always remember that you've survived tough times. Use this strength in you to get past whatever obstacles that come in your way. And I'm pretty sure you will get through alright!

Hahahaha.

I was really quite emotional when I saw you all march past just now.

Every face I see when you all take a step forward, reminded me of all the times (good and bad) that we've been through together.

And I'm so happy for all of you that you all are finally ORD-ing.

I swear me and m'am was almost going to tear.

Hahahaha.

So yeahhhhhhhh!

ORD LO!

It's time to move on to a new phase of life.

Please don't eat so much and get fat.

Continue to exercise and keep fit.

And till then, we'll see each other in 758 guards!

MOB MANNING????

ALWAYS READY,
READY TO STRIKE!

-Undying PC :)

YY house

Hello all!
Just came back from YY's house.
Had an enjoyable time there.
It's been so long since I drank hahaha.
But yeah, really enjoyed myself with my batch mates.
Hope we have more batch gatherings like this.
Hahaha.
Thanks YY for organising and opening your house for us.
Really appreciated!
Everything was fine except for the satay patty.
How I wish it really was like a patty.
Hahahaha.
It doesn't taste that nice anyway.
But the nice thing is everyone gathered around the pit when we were cooking.
Like no one was alone sitting and using the phone.
Hahaha.
#unplugged.
Really can't wait to go Qing Dao with these guys.
And today I went to swim.
Kind of effective rehab for my shoulder.
First lap hurted though.
But after that it became very natural.
Swam a total of 20 laps.
1 km.
AISEH.
Guardsman eh.
LOL
So yeah, tomorrow going back to SUNTEC to work!!!.
So excited.
Hope to see my friends there.
Then can talk cock hahaha.
Okay need to wake up tml morning.
Good night guys!

Mac and Jovin allez for the last paper! :)