Colosseum 2012

It has finally ended.

My house committee journey with Wilfred, Nicole, Wei Lun, Valerie, Leon and Siti has ended few hours ago.

I swear those were not tears of happiness or tears of regret.

Those were the tears of feeling accused.

Accused of a position that we are not supposed to get.

Right when the results were announced, somehow I understood that I've not ended my journey very perfectly.

It was so shocking and disappointed.

Everyone feels the same.

I wasn't crying at first.

Because somehow I didn't feel much attached to the cheerleading team.

Like, I'm just their senior, I will never be part of them.

Then when I turned and look back at my cheerleaders and saw everyone's disappointment and sadness, I thought to myself, "Have I really done my job as a Atlas House Comm?"

What have I done to help out in this year's cheerleading?

I didn't help out much.

I felt like shit.

I knew I could do more but I didn't do much.

I feel disappointed with myself.

Then I looked back all the way to Road Race AAR that day.

What if I didn't skipped that Chemistry tutorial that day.

Then I would have given in my 100% for cheerleading.

So much for telling my cheerleaders not to have tears of regret, now what have I gotten back.

It's really been such a long time since I broke down so badly.

Years.

Can you imagine me crying like a baby.

Not just tears.

Like really really badly.

I went to the toilet together with Matthew, wanting to comfort Wei Lun.

Then in the end Matthew just sat down on the toilet floor with both his hands on his head and he just started crying.

How else can I not cry.

Someone not even supposed to be involved in cheerleading broke down.

Some 21 year old guy.

Today really changed my perception of JC.

It has affected me so much to even realise it.

I cried when I think of how much I could have put in for the cheerleaders.

And that I could have prevented their tears today.

Can you imagine, that feeling.

That anger within yourself.

Seriously, today's performance was really perfect in my eyes.

But, it happened all again.

All the other houses said our dance damn nice.

And the results shocked everyone.

That is the important thing.

And most importantly, everyone became really close after the talk just now.

Then I talked to Mr Hon during the BBQ.

I told him that now that I think about it, I don't mind getting last because a celebration is never better than a heart to heart talk.

Don't you think so?

It's a blessing in disguise.

Hahahaha.

To my Atlas Cheerleaders 2012:

What's done is done.

You guys are already champions in my heart.

I really apologised for not putting in my best for this event.

If given a second chance, I would definitely have done so.

I make sure all of you get that medal.

But sadly in life, opportunity don't come knocking on your door twice.

And I really regretted.

I really want to thank all of you for sparkling up my J2 life.

You brought back the energy that I had when I was in cheerleading in J1, which is also my happiest moment in JC1.

I'm not a very good speaker but I guess this is what I want to tell you all.

It's really from the bottom of my heart.

I love every single one of you, Atlas Cheerleaders 2012.

HUAT AH!!!!