I'm sorry but

this performance has got to make it into my blog.

It is too good la wtheck.

For archiving purpose~

The song too, it's too much feels :')

Hello, my name is Stevie

Actually, I'm lying, it's really Bebe

It's the meds, they make me really sleepy

Klonopin, my friend, yeah, she numbs the feeling

My doctor upped my dosage

My mom felt bad, so she sent me roses

Without it, I feel really hopeless

And 5.7 of Americans know it

Wo-oo-oh, I'm living and I'm dreaming

Trying to stay even, oh

No, I don't need your help

To make me sick, to make me ill

I don't need anybody else

'Cause I can break my heart myself

I don't need your help

Getting off of this carousel

I don't need anybody else

'Cause I can break my heart myself

Today went really well

I didn't wake up in a panic spell

It was fine, even though I fell

Deeper and deeper into a manic hell (Hahahahaha)

Wo-oo-oh, I'm living and I'm dreaming

Trying to stay even, oh (No)

Wo-oo-oh, I'm draining for no reason

Apologize, no feelings, oh

No, I don't need your help

To make me sick, to make me ill

I don't need anybody else

'Cause I can break my heart myself

I don't need your help

Getting off of this carousel

I don't need anybody else

'Cause I can break my heart myself

Woo-hoo, woo-hoo, woo-hoo

'Cause I can break my heart myself

There's a jumper on

Hollywood and the 101

And I'm scared, I could be that one

But I'm not (No)

Woo-hoo, woo-hoo, woo-hoo

'Cause I can break my heart myself

No, I don't need your help

To make me sick, to make me ill

I don't need anybody else

'Cause I can break my heart myself

I don't need your help

Getting off of this carousel

I don't need anybody else

'Cause I can break my heart myself

Slow downnn

It's good that I can remind myself to slow down these days.

Like the concept of slowing down will "pop" into my mind randomly.

Which is nice.

Anyway, randomly bump into Mel today at BFF.

So nice to see her after dk how many years.

And just recalled that at one point of time we were really close.

Like she'd accompany me and just be there when I'm upset.

To the point I remember like we were both silent, and I was just smoking.

No conversation but it was nice to have someone be there.

I think kinda same with Phebz too.

Thinking back on BA18, I think I kinda failed as a leader of the committee.

All I wanted was a good comp, and I placed too much of my own expectations onto my members.

And at the end of it, I felt like I've caused a lot of unnecessary stress to all my members.

Only looking back 4 years on then I realised how uneasy they must felt.

And I guess also kind of because of BA my friendship with these people soured too.

But not gonna lie, seeing them again right now like in 2022, I think we've all moved on from that.

Whatever experience good or bad, I think I still remember all the good feelings that we all shared.

It's still an amazing experience for me.

But sadly, maybe not so much for them because of me :/

So yeah, really glad to see Mel again!

Felt like all the emotions we've shared back then came rushing back.

We've both seen each other cry before, and I think because of that, it's a very very special friendship to me.

Oh, randomly insert, I've been learning how to skate!

It's getting more and more fun.

There were times (out of the 4/5 sessions)  where I thought I would get bored of it.

So yesterday night I learnt how to tic while moving.

Not sure if it's the right term.

I feel like the unlocking of tictac while moving is going to be a really important foundation for cruising / tricks in the future.

So I really want to master tictac for now.

It's nice to learn a new sports hahaha.

I mean, climbing for 12 years already, it's super refreshing.

I think skating has a lot of body awareness too.

Kind of like climbing.

And I'm glad I can kinda translate the awareness of body from climbing / acro to skating.

Just that the movements are much more dynamic.

Want to keep learning! 

And look cool hehe

Okay byeee