Untimely updates

Drowning at work right now.

Shouldn't even have the time to be blogging right now but I am so fking stressed..

I just hope I get through this alive.

I swear I am disappearing in terms of my weight.

And I swear my sleep debt is pretty insane.

I am tired and worn out.

I just want to sleep and not care about work for awhile.

But I can't.

I can only keep on pressing.

I know I'm whining like a lil bitch but I don't give a fuck.

This is my space and I deserve all the rants I want.

This is seriously so tiring.

I didn't expect it to be so tough.

It's taking away my joy from what I love to do.

And I fucking hate that it is happening.

Going force a leave for myself once things are cleared.

I need my fucking time.

Z

Busy

 Lately, I've been busy with work.

It's probably one of the first few times I feel that what I'm doing is legit and that I'm able to grow this dream of mine.

How do I put it, I am really busy, but I can't seem to handle it.

It kinda feels like uni days when I have so much things to do and I'm starting to stress up.

And when I do stress up, things get done even slower.

Then it causes the start of the piling up.

I have currently about 9 edits to complete.

After tomorrow's shoot, 12 edits. 

Let's hope to clear all these 12 by 13 Feb, that is 8 days. 

Which means I need to finish 1 or 2 edits a day.

Sounds easy, but every edit there's a draft 2 and draft 3.

I'm not really complaining, but I am just very stressful..

This is definitely nothing compared to the depression when there's literally no jobs at all.

At least I wake up with distractions.

Distractions stacked over distractions.

At least my mind doesn't wander off and think of all the painful things that's happening with me now.

Or is that really a good thing?

Is escaping really what I need now?

I don't know.

I am escaping these questions as well.

Just like a robot.