Wew

It's been so long since I wrote anything wew.

Even the layout of blogger has changed.

I guess I'm writing today because I wrote it on my to-do list today.

Why do I even have a to-do list?

Well it's a long story.


So one day I was feeling emo, so I went to nex alone to walk.

After walking for a bit, realised that life has been so busy.

Well, at least before Circuit Breaker.

On that day, felt like I haven't spend time to myself for a long time.

Which made me realised that I haven't read anything for a long time.

I mean I kind of read The Five Love Language but I didn't finish it hahaha.

So yeah, I decided to browse for interesting books.

Went to Popular and was looking at books, initially at the fiction section.

But I felt like what I needed now in my life at this point in time isn't fiction.

I felt like I wanted to improve myself as a person or in other words,

I'm just freaking panicking over adulting.

One of the rare times I spent such a long time at the non-fiction section.

Saw this book called "Atomic Habits" and immediately thought of Chin Yue and Wilfred.

I think they were recommending this book to each other a while ago.

So I picked it up and read the reviews at the back.

'A supremely practical and useful book'

Mark Manson, author of

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

I think I've heard good review about that book.

And that was what compelled me to pick that book up and head to the cashier.

"Let's change my life," I thought to myself.

Smiling and putting that book into my bag.

I remembered being so proud of myself buying that book.

Because the act of even buying it means I'm taking a step in my life, even if it's small.

I had the book for a month or so now.

I won't say I'm the most discipline of reader but I am currently halfway through.

Well, the funny thing is the book taught me to pick up that book and read.

So what are the changes in my life so far?

I must say, that the changes are not significant to many.

But I feel that some are significant.

For example, in the morning when my alarm rings,

I will jump straight up and sit on my bed.

After that I will go and drink water (yes without brushing my teeth)

And then wash my face and brush my teeth.

I don't know but these little achievements means a lot for me,

because I've always associate myself to having morning depression.

But these changes had made my first hour waking up a little better.

Because I had a series of routine to do, I realised I actually stopped ruminating.

I'm currently trying to write a to-do list everyday after I wash my face.

So far, I've succeeded for a week now.

I'd like to keep my to-do list simple though.

But yeah, this is what I've been going through recently in my life.

Career wise, I think business has been getting back.

I'd say it's probably 80-90% back as pre Circuit Breaker.

If I took Circuit Breaker away, I'm currently on an average of 2.4k a month?

But I guess I can't just 'take' Circuit Breaker away hahaha.

I think to many of my friends, it seems to them that I am doing okay.

But I constantly fear that I am not earning enough for my future.

But I must say I really do enjoy what I'm doing right now.

I don't see myself doing other jobs in the next 3 years I think?

(29 years old Wee Pin read this, how are you feeling?)

That's quite an intriguing thought but I think despite where we are in our lives,

We need to constantly stop and look at everything around us,

Whatever that we are chasing.

I think we can never reach our goals if we keep expecting more.

I'm not saying that it is a bad thing to expect more but maybe,

Just stop.

And look at where you are now.

I think I should really start to learn to be grateful for all the things around me.

Well, my thought processes just got messed up hahaha.

But wow, it's been a long long time since I wrote.

I haven't thought about myself for a long long time.

I just realised I wrote 'long long' for both sentences.

It must be really long.

I know every time when I write about a book that I am reading,

I get so hopeful and philosophical-ish.

Hahaha, hope this post isn't disgusting.

Argh, hate the fact that my mind isn't flowing right now.

But it's okay, I think the first 80% of the post made me feel good enough.

Oh and I wanted to also talk about how I started investing in stocks.

(Wee Pin 3 years later, please tell me I did not go bankrupt)

I started putting my savings into investments.

I think it helped me to feel (I wouldn't say safe) like I'm taking a small step forward in life.

Any small step feels like a big achievement to me because I am someone with high inertia.

That's why I feel like habits might move me instead of emotions.

Or like what the book mentioned, habits work better than motivation.

As much as I am still confused about the adulting life,

I think investment made me see the world a little differently.

Big words but when I look at stock prices go up and down every seconds,

I think about what the other party across the globe is thinking when he made a decision.

And like because there is so much research that needs to be done before buying my stocks,

I kind of see how money makes the world go round.

And it just opened my eyes to things that I had never thought I would see.

I always thought of investing as something only the richest do.

And of course I have always despised the rich because I'd always believe that the richer you get,

The crazier you become or the less emotions you feel about life.

However, I feel like this thought has been shifting lately.

And I'm starting to feel that to a certain extent,

Money still brings happiness.

It's sad to think of it this way.

But I guess if were to put it in primitive sense,

I'm sure a hunter feel stress when he couldn't find food or provide for his family.

So how much is enough?

I don't know.

And right here I would like to quote what yy told me the other day,

"We are all still figuring out."

Abrupt end but yup, thanks for reading! :)