What is it to be an officer?

Well, went to internship yesterday at 3 Guards again.
Had talks with people from all the different spectrum.
From man to CO.
It was an engaging day for me as I've learnt a few things from them.
So most of the senior commanders asked, what is it to be an officer?
Then suddenly, I had this long reflection about my time in Army.
From BMT up to now, I've learnt many things.
Like how to communicate with people.
How to treat friends like friends and how to treat superiors like superiors.
I've been through quite tough times to know that people are selfish.
That's what OC said.
Which I find it very true.
People are all selfish by nature.
Everyone just want to help themselves deep inside them.
Even though sometime someone portray him/her self as one that will sacrifice his time for others, but deep inside, he might be complaining a little.
Just a little complain deep down in your heart is enough to prove that we humans are all selfish.
People cover their own asses and stuffs.
The thought of being an officer has not hit me so hard until the two days of internship.
What's my purpose of serving the nation and being an officer?
This question has been posed to me since BMT and the start of OCS repsectively.
And I really haven't answered myself that ever since.
Up till now, I'm still really unsure but at least I can say that being an officer for me is to become a better person.
An officer is understanding to man, respected by man and is a very capable person who is also respectful of others.
Respect plays a key role in shaping an officer.
What 2LT Lester told me in BMT I still haven't forget.
Repsect and Humility.
Whenever I feel like I'm a fucked up cadet in OCS, I'll think "What makes you qualified to be one?"
There's so many people out there with much more values and capabilities as compared to me.
So why do you think you're in OCS.
Why do you think you earn a place over here?
I'm probably not the best person they can choose to come to OCS but definitely, I'll learn the way of the officer's call.
These values that I've learnt in OCS will carry with me throughout the rest of my NS life as a young 2LT and also throughout the journey in life.
The trip to 3 Guards is not really a LIFE CHANGING moment for me but it's more of a self-reflection trip for me.
As I always said, it's always good to reflect upon yourselves and you will really learn so much more.

And all this aside, it has shocked me that people undergo so much changes after tertiary studies.
Be it guys going to NS or girls going to Univeristy.
Not saying any of the gender became more fucked up or what.
But I'm saying things have changed so much.
There's hardly people who looked back at their lives anymore to reminisce the times spent in secondary schools or JC.
Well I do.
And it makes me feel alive and makes me feel that I'm growing.
And I'm not being dragged away by the social norms.
Makes me feel that sometimes, we don't have to keep chasing things and renewing ourselves.
Because at the end of the day, happiness does not necessarily come from the "new" and sometimes it may be from the "old".
So look back in life and call your old friends up to catch up with them.
:)

Discipline

It's such a big issue that is happening in my wing now.
Our discipline level is really damn bad.
Instructors have to step in to reprimand us.
Even outsiders have to step in today.
At 3 Guards.
Felt a sense of shame.
Officer cadets who are going to commission in 3 months time to become officers.
How are we going to expect standards from the men and commanders if we ourselves are fucked up?
Intern tomorrow again.
Hope it'll be better.
LIGHTS OUT!

But seriously, some people need to grow some brains.

Amazing haunting music

Thinking

Just had this random thought.
Which is kinda like what I've always been thinking in the past.
I'm thinking that 2 days of civilian life every week is not enough.
It's like 5/7 of my life wasted.
Then I keep thinking of how little time I have for myself to enjoy and live the best out of it.
And I would be like FASTER ORD!!!!
And then I think, will studying in university grant me this thing about enjoying my life as a civilian?
Not that true.
Cause of all the stresses from the exams, hardly you'll get time to relax and chill out too.
And then when we go to the working force as adults in the future, will we actually be enjoying our life?
So the question I want to bring across to everyone is,
WHEN WILL WE EVER HAVE TIME TO ENJOY OURSELVES ?
Honestly, I have no answer to this question.
It's so sad to think that the responsibility of life weighs you down as you age.
But I guess the only resolution to this is to do things that you enjoy everyday.
OR
Enjoy the things that you are doing everyday.
This is especially relatable to those who are in NS.
Enjoy the accompany of your buddy, your section mates and platoon mates.
They're the only thing that you have for this 2 years.
Try and make the best out of it!
:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

MY FIRST TEAR IN 2014

Reminds too much of myself.
So proud that NOC is made by singaporeans.