Hormones

It feels weird that I'm actually 20 now and somehow out of the rebellious teenage phase.
It feels weird that I'm having less emotions day after day.
It feels weird that I don't know how to smile genuinely sometimes.
What kind of phase in life is this?
I missed the school days where I used to have problems, celebrations, emotions.
Hormones is really a good drama series.
Didn't expect so many memories from secondary school to come rushing back like that.
Would you believe if I told you I still dream of you and I still miss you sometimes?
It has almost been 5 years.
Separate ways as we are right now, we are nothing but strangers.
We have nothing to do with one another anymore,
except my memories of you.
..........

Be glad you're living in freedom.

You might be thinking,
Ah, let's just skip this link.
But no, give some time for it.
I'm sure you'll thank me.
It's a long story, but finish it.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/northkorea/11138496/Escape-from-North-Korea-How-I-escaped-horrors-of-life-under-Kim-Jong-il.html

ALCOHOL

Alcohol really causes trouble.
That time phuket, now again.
I really need to learn how to control.
Sorry mum and dad for making you all worry / angry.

Grateful

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10152473570431063&fref=nf

I'm grateful for Army for making me into what I am today.
Even though at times I may still be like a kid, throwing tantrum and all, being in the Army has made me realised how important friendship and family are.
These few weeks, I feel quite sad because I'm losing that officer's call.
You're not just an officer because of the rank.
You're and officer because you are that kind of person.
Where's that respect and humility gone to?
I'm sorry to my parents.
I haven't been spending enough time with you all.
Sorry for ignoring you while I'm playing my games every weekend.
Sorry for going to climb on weekends and not spending enough time with you all.
And up till now, I still "arhhhhh, orrhhhh" you all.
Come on, you're 20 already.
Spend more time with your family.
Make them smile.
You owe your life to them.
And worst of all, the problem that lies with me is that I like to type fanciful things on the blog.
But I don't do them.
Few days back, I was in my men's bunk.
I saw one of them with a book.
It's a book about how you START doing things.
Quit talking, start doing.
There's a lot of situations in life where you would keep procrastinate about things.
There are a lot of things you want to achieve in life.
But time makes you want to procrastinate.
And the more time is wasted, the harder it is for you to START doing something.
I find it quite true.
But the book is more like an interactive book.
If not I may borrow it from him.

Fucking xia lan

I really cannot imagine how people play game can play until so lao lan.
Knnb want play just play la keep kpkb. Fucking pubor.
Fucking annoying.
I've really been tahan-ing for so long.
Chee bye still cannot see I'm trying to tahan all of you is it?
Knn tahan so long already diam diam don't want talk still want kp.
This time I really cannot take it already.
It happens EVERY FUCKING TIME.
And I'm fucking angry.
Yes.
Fuck off.

What Army has taught me

www.businessinsider.com/10-things-learned-in-the-military-that-can-be-applied-to-life-2014-8?IR=T&

Good read, good read.

10. Apperance Matters
9. You Are What You Eat And Drink
8. You Can't Do Everything On Your Own
7. Value Your Sleep
6. Confidence Is King — Be Decisive
5. Learn From The Experience Of Others
4. There Are Worse Things Than Being Bored
3.  You Can't Rely On Technology
2. You Always Have Something More To Give
1. Appreciate Your Friends

EDITED MY BLOG

Yeah, decided to renovate my blog. Hopefully it looks more pleasant. Anyway, it has been 5 years since I started blogging. And the number of posts are getting lower. Viewers are getting lower too. But I guess this is all because of NS. Ever since I joined the army, there were actually less problems as compared to in the past. This is one major reason why I've started to blog less and rant less. Hahahaha.

Have been thinking over the past few days whether I should extend one year of my service so that I can finish the mono with my man. It's going to be a big sacrifice and I'm definitely not ready to just extend right now. In about three months time, I'm going to Brunei again. I'm going to use Brunei as an indicator. Whether or not I extend that one year is very dependent on Brunei. And hopefully when I extend one year and start my university, I won't regret my decision.

Sigh, tough choices. Anyway today has been a great day. Feels like a #throwback day for me. So in the morning, woke up at 9.30am to pee. Went back to sleep and waited for my alarm to ring. I was so tired that I didn't feel the alarm at all. And BAM, it was 12.15pm. Was supposed to play soccer with Wilfred, Wei Lun, Eugene, Tubby and friends at 11am but well, I climbed hard yesterday so couldn't wake up. 

So went to meet them at around 1.30pm. Went up to the soccer court to find them and coincidentally, saw Chen Hao and Zhi Hao who I found quite hard to differentiate all of a sudden. Even though I know both brothers well. Hahaha. But anyway, went to eat pasta mania. Headed to Downtown, wanting to watch a movie, but end up playing bowling. 

Bowling was actually quite fun. But it got bored at around the second game. Quite exciting at the start though. Keep trying to spin and stuffs, making a fool of ourselves. And at that moment, we all felt like students. Students who came to play after school. Loiter around shopping malls, don't want to go home. It was really like a "secondary school day" like what Wei Lun said. So nostalgic. And now all of us are just like 20 years old, having our own lives. Who actually looks back at secondary school life, JC life and just reminisce. Good old times.

Came back home after eating Mr Chicken Rice and then yeah, hobo around at home until now. It's been so long since I blogged about my day. Hahahaha, maybe I should start blogging again. 

OH WAIT, WHERE GOT TIME?

Book in lo!

JENNINA W!

Jannine Parawie Weigel
MY NEW FOUND LOVE.



Heeeeeeeeeeeeeheeeeeeeeeeeeeeheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewooooooooooohuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.

2 months after becoming a guardsman

http://chao-dar.blogspot.sg/2013/07/guards.html

One year ago, I was watching the guards conversion course.
The day I POP-ed, I went to wei lun's house before we went to bangkok.
I remembered watching GCC video over at his house.
I remembered how touching I felt when I watched the video.
How much I wanted to be a guardsman.
And today, I just rewatched all the 7 episodes of the GCC video.
It's really haunting.
To think of all the tough times in GCC.
Many times I try to put myself back into the GCC period of time.
To reflect upon my life now.
But those moments are so unique and tiring that I hardly remember them anymore.
Those feelings of uncertainty.
Those pain, those blood and those tears.
Those sand all over your body.
GCC never ends.
So far being APC3 has not been any tougher than GCC.
Maybe values I learnt in GCC will be applied when I go to Brunei again the next few months.
Suddenly think of all the tough times I had with my syndicate section.
But somehow it seems like everyone had moved on and memories of GCC 01/14 is fading quickly.
Everyone is doing their own things now.
But I really missed the 4 weeks in GCC.
Even though it was so damn tiring.
If anyone was to ask me how was GCC now, I find it hard to explain to them every single details.
Only those unique moments I can remember.
Can't wait for the september GCC to come.
And then I can relive all the memories.
Shall go and climb now~

STILL A CLIMBER.

93/13 Commissioning Parade

Went there as a civilian.
Was stuck outside at first because we don't have tickets.
Was quite disappointed, wanted to go home already.
Then suddenly they started allowing people to go in.
But when we went in it was already march pass.
But it wasn't too late.
Watched the whole parade.
Seeing the parade as a third party feels so different.
Really feel so proud of those people who commissioned.
Who suffered 9 months and finally came out as an officer.
And when they threw their peak cap high up the sky, I suddenly think of the moment when I threw mine.

I teared a bit when I think of the 9 months in OCS.
It was really filled with ups and downs.
Waking up every morning at 0530.
Wake my buddy up.
Go brush teeth and wash face.
Fall in in RED RED.
Report strength.
Everyone feeling so down.
(SO LONG MORE TO COMMISSIONING)
Then march to cookhouse for breakfast.
Sing song as a platoon.
Felt better.
Eat breakfast, drink ice milo.
Then go back bunk to sleep.
Fall in for first activity.
Blah blah blah.
Send arms, RO at 2130 white white.
Then the last hour will be used surfing the net, or talking to friends in the bunk.
That feeling when you are part of a platoon.
That feeling when you can march side by side with 20 over people everyday.
Now it just feels weird that you're not the one in the file anymore.
You're not the one getting fucked for moving in file.
Getting screwed in outfield cause of bad SOFUN.
That feeling when it's book out time.
Change to penguin and march all the way to MPH.
Bid farewell to those taking car and continue walking to gate.
Cab home and enjoy the short weekend.
Sunday book in again.
Went into dad's car.
Sleep in the car.
See the link bridge.
Then see the SAFTI tower getting bigger and bigger.
(HOW LONG MORE MUST I DO THIS)
Dad fetch me in to carpark H (or J forget already)
Then march towards wing line.
Then go gift shop buy some stuffs.
See my friends sometime and become happier.
Then finally RO and the week starts all over again.
This life for 9months.
All compressed into the thoughts of a Officer Cadet going to commission.
And when you finally throw your peak cap, all the memories go up with it.
And you start tearing and hoping you won't leave this awesome bunch of friends in OCS.
But everyone knows that everyone will separate and all will be gone and just be memories.
It's kinda sad.
But that's life.
And now, it's time to book in.
LET'S GO!

The question that always struck me in OCS.
Why do you want to become an officer?

Memories

As I stood there on SAFTI parade square, on the 19 April, I was so elated.
Finally I'm an officer!
The day when I was back at home, I was excited about my life ahead.
Now having men under me, this rank is less of pride now.
Is more of responsibility.
8 more months to ORD.
Having this mixed feeling before I book in.
Even though life is good now, and things are going well, sometimes I feel that I want to leave this organisation fast.
But life after ORD definitely's not going to be easy.
That's why they say "You never stop being an officer."
Even as a civilian, that's the thing that I will bring away with me.
Sometimes I feel like I have a lot of things to share with my men.
But everytime I want to, I forgot what I want to say.
It's these kinds of memories that are so vague in my mind but yet so important in life.
Every time you get busy in life, you stop thinking about life.
You stop reflecting.
And that's bad.
I'm always glad that I remember to reflect upon my own life.
And that would be moments I blog about it.
Instead of looking forward to my ORD date, I'm going to make the best out of these months.
And end off this green journey with a blast.
And that will then be the time that I will say that I've changed from Ah Boy to Man.



Suddenly thinking about how life was before enlisting.
And how life is going to be after ORD-ing.
Hence this post.
SO MANY THOUGHTS.
SO LITTLE TIME TO REFLECT.
BOOK IN LO.

Life in NS so far

It's been 1 year and 2 months since I enlisted.

8 more months to ORD.

What have I learned in NS?
It's been so damn long that I hardly remember civilian life anymore.

But throughout this 1 year and 2 months, I'm really sure I've learned a lot.

From military skills to values that can be applied in life.

Let's just take a look at one of a conversation I had with my friend back in BMT one year ago.

One of the first few people I've met in my army life.

This conversation happened when we just POP-ed and got our postings.

If I were to put myself in my shoes 1 year ago, I'll be proud of where I am right now.

Leading a platoon of 31 guys.

It's time to reflect upon my army life, and finish these last 8 months to the best that I can be.

And make sure these 8 months will be inspiring and life changing for my men as well.

So weird to feel like a RECRUIT / OCT all over again.

Happy belated SAF day!

July 19, 2013 6:58 pm

2LT or 3SG

Lol

3SG

wtf serious?

Lol hahaj

No lah I gt into navy mids wing ocs

fuck yuo

LOL

i put you my number one

you tell me you go 3sg

means your boots white colour?

Hahaha I put you number 3 sia

Wah shit u too keqi alr

cb

who number 1 and 2

Haha no leh...actually I duno but ocs all go tgt

I put no 1 is tsui

Eh no I put you 2

Haha jack 3

liddat then tsui

hahaha

ben ong got ocs?

I duno leh

tsui got ocs?

Eh are we suppose to post in the fb grp our postings?

Yea he gt

good

Army wing

ahaha

you what wing

ya i think you supposed to post

oh ya navy wing

Yea I mids wing

Navy wing

U post 1st leh I shy

go read properly

i first to post

LOL

is at

the asyraf khalid post

just comment

dont need also can la

just act big for the last time

Hahahaha

I saw!!!

Big fuck ah 2LT Ang Wee Pin

LOL

show you what asyraf send me

wait ah

AISEH 2LT GONNA BE ANG WEE PIN CONGRATS LAH! In 9 months time I see you must salute you liao hahaha. Congrats!!

Wah u gt personal message???

ya sia

i think cause i first to post i got ocs wing

Na bei I dun have sia

LOL

you nv comment

No leh

maybe he will

He gt comment on my instagram

what he say

Say up thr lah 2LT to be Chin

LOL

have la

But yours personal message sia

Knn damn jealous

I tink he likes you sia

i write for you

Diva love

Dear Jacob

then you

monday going

safti also?

Its tue leh

Not mon

23rd is tue

U go check again

ya

omg

23

Tue man

1 more free day

oh ya

shiok ah

one more free day

LOL

but

safti?

Yea same

I need go thru same shit as u guys for two weeks

Before I go and do navy shit

you sign on is navy?

not air force ah

Yea not air force

Navy

July 27, 2013 7:59 pm

wah the lap top fking lag

LOL

you all admin alr?

hahaha same using laptop also

yup

u?

considered admin ba

2100 RO

got alot of things study sia

ohhh haha

tomorrow navex course

wah i swear i miss u guys man

yea

wah so fast

i mon

haha

must go rambutan hill

yea sia

the vegetation

we no field camp

lol

damn scared get lost at nihg

night

first 2 weeks dun have wat right

as in

the navex

got night navigation

then never really in forest at night before

haha oh ya

aiya just go only lah

i just want to get out of here next sun

haha

why

you cannot stand the people there?

i duno sia

no man...cause my wing holding wing mah

so like we wont be tgt after clm liao

so like no point making friends here

i just wait go mids wing then have fun lor

you commission

same time as me right

cos you sign during bmt

no man

no ah

cause mids wing gt no intake for my batch

must wait for the next one

so is july

i commission one batch later

yea july

ooo

sian sia

ya man

nicholas quek online

go talk to him

LOL

LOL no thanks

i tink he wants to talk to tsui

tsui alpha wing?

yea

same wing

we both platoon ics sia

i platoon 2ic

wah

up there la

LOL

how they choose

lame sia

i wanted to slack

i duno leh

like i go see my bunk allocation on 1st day

see my name beside the role of platoon 2ic

LOL

tsui nv sign on right

nope

haha

i miss our seargents

and pcs

yea man

the wing don't have lynn

like damn quiet

i just miss everyone in platoon 4

lol

walk past people in corridor like

just walk past only

lol

hahaha same

now getting better lah

ya la

but still got a few

damn cocky one

talk as if

they damn big

ya

then everytime ill think back to what philip say

and the two words lester gave us

hahaha exactly

respect

and wat ah

integrity isit?

humility

ohhhh ya ya

i at first

want to express interest to sign on one

but my mind fucking luan

so i decided to service term or pro term then decide again

haha

why you want sign on ah

haha alot of ppl in wing also liketat

i wanted an early start in a career

plus i also wan to explore lah

you not scared that you wont like meh

the navy seems like a very adventurous place to go to so i guess i wanted to try it out lot

as in i tink i will like it

i know for sure staying in army i sure will hate it

if i sign on right

ill sign on guards

that's what i was thinking

wah wanna be a lester ah

LOL

ya sia

damn inspiring the GCC

wah u something wrong sia

but respect the guards really

maybe you'll respect me in 10 months time