Climbing

Hello everyoneeeeee.
Im at the awesome playground that im always at with deep thoughts.
Blogging from here always makes me feel good.

Just had a makan + drinking session with the seniors.
And as a year 1 listening to all of them talk makes me think about my climbing journey all over again.
I've been climbing for 5 years now.
And the reason why I started loving this sport was due to the community and the self satisfaction I get from climbing.
However as the number of years of climbing increases, there's this part of me that wants to get stronger.
And the main part of the reason is I want to make my parents proud of me for something.
Also to make them understand the reason why I always climb and climb.
My personal goal is to go to open finals one day and ask my parents to come and watch me climb.
Hoping that it will make them proud of their son.
But after today's session with the climbing seniors, I feel that all the improvement is really for myself.
What matters the most is that I constantly enjoy climbing even if I'm injured or even if I didn't perform as well that day.
Just like what Marcus yeo told me the other day.
"What's the reason behind picking up this sport?"
Surely not to win a prize or something.
But actually for yourself.
It hit me quite hard when wen shu and han told me things like "It's really not about getting strong. "
It's a whole new definition for me as recently I've been wanting to get stronger so I'll surpass my peers in climbing.
It's really an enjoyment of the sports itself that is important.
I guess after today, I need to sort out my priorities in climbing.
Because I feel that it's starting to go off course.
But also, to enjoy climbing more, i have to get stronger and pass my own limits.
Some contradiction there.
It's going to take some time for me but I think that feeling is certainly going to come back.
I guess everyone has different mentality for climbing.
And for me, I guess it's getting into open finals and yet enjoying the main reason of why I am climbing in the first place.
Hmmmmmm .
Many thoughts many thoughts.
Shall go and rest and study hard again tml !!

Sigh

Every time I can't solve a maths/physics question, my concluding thoughts will be "Why am I learning this for? What's this going to aid me in my life"
Lol such pathetic thoughts.

Lol

Omg ....
Fml
That was awkward.

Just some thoughts about friends

Since it's 3am right now, I have some thoughts going through my mind now.
Hahahaha been a long time since I've slept at this hour and this timing brings me back to the time before I entered uni.
Which is around 2 months now.

From my facebook, I have 1143 "friends".
All these friends have different meaning in my heart.
And they all belong to the different circles in my life.

Personally, I feel that as we grow older, it's harder to make close friends.
And most of your close friends are generally from like primary school / secondary school.
And I somehow have a theory for this.
And I'm going to break down these 4 phases I have in mind.

Phase 1 : Meeting

Phase 1 of making a friend is meeting.

This is very different from when we were less mature and now that we are more mature. 

When we are young, anyone that talks to you is a friend.

Anyone in your class is a friend.

Anyone that plays hopscotch with you, eats with you in the canteen is a friend.

Is really that simple.

And we don't even have to see whether this person has similar interest in you.

We accept him for who he is and that's a full stop, he is your friend.

Now as we are more mature, we still meet people in your life.

However whether you accept him into your circle or not depends on age, gender, interests and so on.

So because of this filter, we make friends of similar ideologies and this is considered the turning point where not everyone you eat with or play with is your friend.

But rather, it can be considered as an accompany instead.

Phase 2 : Judging

So phase 2 of our friendships go to judging.

Judging is considered a process whereby you go through even deeper filtering.

This phase has different lengths for different people.

For me, it's a little longer.

But generally, it stretches from when you meet this person for at least 4 to 5 times already to a few months down the road.

It takes time for us to judge a person's personality and behaviour.

And this phase is the time we do so.

Everyone starts to judge whether this person is "cool" enough or "famous" enough for you.

And whether there would be any benefits to knowing this person.

As the number of meetings grows, the rejection list expands.

It could be a mutual rejection (which is a better one) or one sided rejection.

One sided rejection sucks because the one getting rejected feels really bad.

And I can assure you this rejection process didn't really occur when we were young.

But as we grow older, we mature and we also became more selfish.

Putting people into this rejection list if we deem he's not fit enough to be in your circle.

And the idea that "I can meet more people with this personality of mine."

Another factor that adds to the judging process would be experiences.

Most of us have probably gotten rejected by some particular circle of friends in the past.

This creates a fear of going through the same feeling and hence, we really become very careful in choosing our group of friends that we meet.

Because of this process, painful situations may occur.

People get hurt.

Fake laughter appears.

But this process starts to pull friends into your circle of friends.

Friends you won't mind having a meal with or going out with.

This process is known as the judging.

Phase 3 : Testing

I would like to call the third phase testing.

This phase is called testing.

It's still quite similar to judging but it's a little different.

This testing phase is really a thin line from judging.

But this testing phase only occur when you feel that this person seems to be worthy to share your troubles with.

And you start testing him.

You share secrets with him.

You share your feelings about the people you meet in the judging phase.

You start to become very close to each other.

Spending time with each other at least once every week.

But the true definition behind testing happens when this friend starts to meet more people in phase 1.

And he starts his own rejection period in phase 2.

And whether or not you stay in his close circle or not depends on phase 2.

He will bring you back to his phase 2 and judge whether you are a better friend or he is a better friend to have.

And when he has made the decision that you are indeed still a better friend, you will stay in his inner circle of friendship and you all will still meet up very often despite of busy schedules.

These friends that have passed your testing test, you will treat them as a very good friend.

Whether or not he also put in the same effort to test you and put you into the inner circle is a different thing.

He could be your phase 3 but you might still be at his phase 2.

But nevertheless, you've probably found a good good friend that is worth all the time to meet up.

He's the one that you will look for when you are down.

He's the one that will lend all ears to you when you want to talk.

And if it's a mutually phase 3, then it will normally lead us to phase 4.

Phase 4 : Part of you

This final and last phase will probably take years to nurture.

And it's the phase where both of you survived phase 3.

This friend will become part of you.

They will become your BFF.

Literally "Best Friends Forever"

You share similar thoughts about friendships, families, etc.

There's just too much in common with this person.

This person will definitely be your wingman during your wedding day.

And you'll be so happy to have met this friend years ago.

Because you can't live without him anymore.

This friend has survived the tough journey towards the core of your friendship circle.

He survived the judging and testing phase.

You all have gone through a lot of obstacles.

And finally, you are part of him and he is part of you.

Didn't expect to write this for so long.

I guess the atmosphere at home is perfect for writing and thinking.

Hahahha.

I'm very tired.

Going to sleep first.

CIAOZ

Climbing camp

It's been a long time since I've ever been in a camp.
Hahahaha.
It's actually my first uni camp and I kind of enjoyed it.
WHY KIND OF?
Firstly, almost the year ones were made the OGLs.
Which make things a little weird for us to coordinate.
But it was okayyyyyyy.
Secondly, there's just too many people.
So tiring to remember people's name.
Sighh.
But overall it was a good camp la.
Got closer to my batch mates.
Cause we HTHT at starbucks at night until 2am++
Really hope we'll get closer by the time we go qingdao.
Then it will definitely be an awesome trip.

Here and there during the camp.
I was thinking about things.
Quite troubled and confused about my own feelings.
It got really quite bad that I decided to just walk away from the BBQ today and just sat down and stare out at the sea.
But yet again, my thoughts aren't the truest when I'm tired.
But still, it's been bugging me throughout the camp.
It got really tiring thinking about it.
Hope I've an answer to myself soon.
:)))))))))))))))))))

Inside out

It has been a long day today.
Went for mock competition (without competing of course)
Felt quite low after mock competition.
Cause staring at people climb while I'm just sitting there doesn't help.
Haven't worn my Tenaya for some time.
6 days to be exact.
Wowwwwwwwww time flies so fast?
Injured for so many days already hahaha.
Felt like it was just 3 days that I've had that injury.
But oh well, gonna fight that itch to climb.
Anyway today was Hazlee's birthday!
Happy birthday hazlee!!!!!!

Hazlee made them do that.
Say I'm their coach.
Everywhere I go kena disturb.
Sighhhhhhh.
YUP SO AFTER CLIMBING, went to teo heng.
Thought that the people going was just andy, limzw, edmond and some others.
Then there was wen shu, wen bin and their girlfriends and ashley and hans.
Then I realised I was the extra one since all year 4 except limzw and me.
But since I already came just sang.
And my voice suck.
Sian.
Andy's voice damn nice.
Hahahaha.
So yeah, after that went to eat at some italian restaurant with them.
Then headed to SRG to find ZH.
We went to catch Inside out together.
Oh my god.
Damn nice movie.

Spoiler alert

The general theme behind this movie were emotions and memories.
Which invoked some thoughts in my mind too.
Made me reflect about my life from when I was young.
And how those emotions changed as I grew older.
Same as the movie.
It was mostly happy memories when I'm younger.
And when I think back in time, it sure was a much happier world without all the thoughts I'm having right now.
It certainly is.
I remembered concluding my own queries about the reason of living when I was in sec 2.
I told myself that happiness is the thing I want to pursue.
What happened?
Living everyday as if it's a routine right now.
I know I say this all the time.
But I really need to start appreciating the little things around me.
And I think I will be happier.
Another takeaway from the movie was about the ups and downs in life.
I felt as if life is indeed a roller coaster.
Without the low periods, you won't enjoy the high periods.
And every low period has a memory that is embedded into our mind.
To remind us of how to avoid it in the future.
Also, I liked the idea of how there are these 5 core memories that depicts our personality.
I felt that it was very true.
One example would be, the reason why I am climbing now is due to a fact that I used to love playing at playgrounds and climbing random things.
Why I have this personality right now is due to things that has happened in the past.
Every actions and decisions you make now or in the future are all based on experiences or setbacks.
And that was how the idea of the 5 core memories that were played out in the movie.
I really enjoyed it.
Waaaaaaaaaaa.
Nice.
Thanks zh for the jio.
:DDD

Going to sleep nowwww.
Tomorrow need to open car's door.
For my cousin who is getting married.
Hahhahahahaha.
Ciaoz.

My life in terms of dota

Im currently farming my midas then I can afford my BOT.
Genius.
But the farming for midas sucks.
Blah .