It's been so long since I wrote anything wew.
Even the layout of blogger has changed.
I guess I'm writing today because I wrote it on my to-do list today.
Why do I even have a to-do list?
Well it's a long story.
So one day I was feeling emo, so I went to nex alone to walk.
After walking for a bit, realised that life has been so busy.
Well, at least before Circuit Breaker.
On that day, felt like I haven't spend time to myself for a long time.
Which made me realised that I haven't read anything for a long time.
I mean I kind of read The Five Love Language but I didn't finish it hahaha.
So yeah, I decided to browse for interesting books.
Went to Popular and was looking at books, initially at the fiction section.
But I felt like what I needed now in my life at this point in time isn't fiction.
I felt like I wanted to improve myself as a person or in other words,
I'm just freaking panicking over adulting.
One of the rare times I spent such a long time at the non-fiction section.
Saw this book called "Atomic Habits" and immediately thought of Chin Yue and Wilfred.
I think they were recommending this book to each other a while ago.
So I picked it up and read the reviews at the back.
'A supremely practical and useful book'
Mark Manson, author of
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
I think I've heard good review about that book.
And that was what compelled me to pick that book up and head to the cashier.
"Let's change my life," I thought to myself.
Smiling and putting that book into my bag.
I remembered being so proud of myself buying that book.
Because the act of even buying it means I'm taking a step in my life, even if it's small.
I had the book for a month or so now.
I won't say I'm the most discipline of reader but I am currently halfway through.
Well, the funny thing is the book taught me to pick up that book and read.
So what are the changes in my life so far?
I must say, that the changes are not significant to many.
But I feel that some are significant.
For example, in the morning when my alarm rings,
I will jump straight up and sit on my bed.
After that I will go and drink water (yes without brushing my teeth)
And then wash my face and brush my teeth.
I don't know but these little achievements means a lot for me,
because I've always associate myself to having morning depression.
But these changes had made my first hour waking up a little better.
Because I had a series of routine to do, I realised I actually stopped ruminating.
I'm currently trying to write a to-do list everyday after I wash my face.
So far, I've succeeded for a week now.
I'd like to keep my to-do list simple though.
But yeah, this is what I've been going through recently in my life.
Career wise, I think business has been getting back.
I'd say it's probably 80-90% back as pre Circuit Breaker.
If I took Circuit Breaker away, I'm currently on an average of 2.4k a month?
But I guess I can't just 'take' Circuit Breaker away hahaha.
I think to many of my friends, it seems to them that I am doing okay.
But I constantly fear that I am not earning enough for my future.
But I must say I really do enjoy what I'm doing right now.
I don't see myself doing other jobs in the next 3 years I think?
(29 years old Wee Pin read this, how are you feeling?)
That's quite an intriguing thought but I think despite where we are in our lives,
We need to constantly stop and look at everything around us,
Whatever that we are chasing.
I think we can never reach our goals if we keep expecting more.
I'm not saying that it is a bad thing to expect more but maybe,
Just stop.
And look at where you are now.
I think I should really start to learn to be grateful for all the things around me.
Well, my thought processes just got messed up hahaha.
But wow, it's been a long long time since I wrote.
I haven't thought about myself for a long long time.
I just realised I wrote 'long long' for both sentences.
It must be really long.
I know every time when I write about a book that I am reading,
I get so hopeful and philosophical-ish.
Hahaha, hope this post isn't disgusting.
Argh, hate the fact that my mind isn't flowing right now.
But it's okay, I think the first 80% of the post made me feel good enough.
Oh and I wanted to also talk about how I started investing in stocks.
(Wee Pin 3 years later, please tell me I did not go bankrupt)
I started putting my savings into investments.
I think it helped me to feel (I wouldn't say safe) like I'm taking a small step forward in life.
Any small step feels like a big achievement to me because I am someone with high inertia.
That's why I feel like habits might move me instead of emotions.
Or like what the book mentioned, habits work better than motivation.
As much as I am still confused about the adulting life,
I think investment made me see the world a little differently.
Big words but when I look at stock prices go up and down every seconds,
I think about what the other party across the globe is thinking when he made a decision.
And like because there is so much research that needs to be done before buying my stocks,
I kind of see how money makes the world go round.
And it just opened my eyes to things that I had never thought I would see.
I always thought of investing as something only the richest do.
And of course I have always despised the rich because I'd always believe that the richer you get,
The crazier you become or the less emotions you feel about life.
However, I feel like this thought has been shifting lately.
And I'm starting to feel that to a certain extent,
Money still brings happiness.
It's sad to think of it this way.
But I guess if were to put it in primitive sense,
I'm sure a hunter feel stress when he couldn't find food or provide for his family.
So how much is enough?
I don't know.
And right here I would like to quote what yy told me the other day,
"We are all still figuring out."
Abrupt end but yup, thanks for reading! :)
