Different

Maybe the reason why I ran for captain is very different from what the team thinks they need.
But I must always remember why I ran and why I even stood up in the first place.
Being in the team for almost 4 years, these people are my pillar of support.
Cliche as it sounds about giving back, I'm giving back because my seniors played an important role in my journey in TeamNUS and helping me to know people who some are my closest friends now.
As different as the team may seem now - the obvious segregation, I will still try my best to bond this team.
Whatever the outcome at the end of this 1 year of captaincy, as long as I don't despise my own effort in trying to pull the team together, I'll believe that I did a good job as a captain.
Maybe the team may not seem to be very important to some people, but I'm sure there are people who thinks that the team is irreplaceable.
It's been a pretty good semester as a captain, I hope to give more in the next semester.
I'm always certain that hardwork will pay off.
In every aspect in life.
And that's why I'll continue to try.
Regardless of differing opinions from the majority.

3kg

I've lost 3kg in 6 days from keto diet.
This morning is probably the toughest.
Should have drank more water last night and sleep earlier.
Woke up with the whole body feeling like shit and the mind cannot focus on anything.
So had to make myself some butter kopi this morning and eat some left over macadamia from yesterday.
It's 8 more days before I end this diet.
I'm so excited for rice / try the new macs burger.
Need to hang on.
In the mean time, mala is pretty satisfying.
Hope to reach 66.0 by next Saturday :')

Today I have a 15% paper.
But I have a dateline to meet by tomorrow morning.
The amount of work I put in to school is getting from bad to worse.
LOL.
Idk whether I should be worried.
At least I'm worried about whether I'm worrying for my academics.
1 more sem before life starts.
Very very intimidating but I really want to work very hard to live the life I always wanted since young.
Not in film / photography per se, but just not doing a 8 to 5 job.
Would really love for me to be able to survive in this society after I grad.
But I strongly believe crawling out of setbacks and persevering through will get me somewhere.

Baguio is in 4 weeks time too.
I'm very excited to compete in the Philippines national too.
It's probably the closest I can get to representing Singapore and I would wanna do well in it.
So gotta balance studying and climbing hard during the finals period.
Need to maintain that mindset.
And once the comp is over, I'll wish to give my mind a break from this whole sem and redirect whatever positive energy left for the next sem.

A pretty weird post I must say because my mind is also very tired from keto.
Hahaha damn confused mind.

She knew we did not have a proper closure

She appeared in my dream last night.

I've cried for you again.
It's been almost a year.
11 months.
I wish that you are really happy now.
So happy that nothing bothers you.
I wish I still cross your mind sometimes.

Honestly, that was too heavy of a dream.
You cared and worried about me just like how you did back then.
I knew you did.
And I knew that you were so free back then.
The feeling of limitless, the power of presence.
It was just that one night, but it was the most comfortable night.
We cried our hearts out under the stars.
Nothing bothered us.
We were entangled in that unreal consciousness.
No one would be able to understand that comfort we had with each other.
The pain that came after that.
Knowing that it was only a night of illusion and disguise.
I hugged you so tight that night because I knew all these will disappear when we wake up.
Time passed.
Everyone just had to judge.
I was told to just stop talking to you, it's for my own good.
And so I did.
But deep down I know I worried about how you're handling everything.
Your parents.
I wrote an entry whenever I miss you.
I guess this is that entry again.


Feeling too much now.
I miss you so much that I want to text you right now.

Perfect

I guess perfect in my eyes might not be the same as the clients.
Always.
I am getting tired of this.
Afraid that I'm starting to regret taking on this role again.
Finals and submission weeks coming.
Probably no time to juggle them again.

Anyway been doing keto diet cause I've been influenced by Emonda.
Quite interesting to see how the body recovers very slow but the weight loss is quite amazing.
But have been feeling really tired and craving for my favourite rice.

Been quite a crazy weekend too with the team people at kanpai.
Hahaha it was a fun night.
And I'm glad we kinda bonded a lil.

Vertigo wasn't the best.
But I shouldn't be that disappointed since I didn't mentally prepare well for it too.
So happy for Ken Seah cause I know how much and how hard he trains.
Inspirational but oh well, this keto diet thingy making me very tired during training.

Mind is quite at a loss now and quite panicky after receiving the long chunk of draft 1 edits from the client.
Hope they can compromise something.

And wew I need a better computer. This shit is taking too much time cause of how slow the computer is.

Tired.
Just really tired, mentally and physically.

Love all 9f you

Thanks for the night..

Vertigo

Sigh. Pretty bad performance.
All these dynamic / confidence training for the past 2 weeks just became static and fearful climbing.
Need to remind myself to be more confident during comp.
Really pretty disappointed with my climbs.

It tears me all the time

When I feel the pain behind all those lyrics.
R.I.P
I'm sure you fought hard.